Should i stay friends with her?

[ivanmpc]

There is this girl I've been good friends with for a year and a half and have been strongly in love with for the past year.

I am 20 and never before did i have any romantic feelings even close to the ones towards her. I hardly get attached to people, and this course of events really surprised me, and ultimately hurt me.

 

6 months ago, I told her how i feel, even though it had been pretty obvious before, and, as i had already suspected she didn't feel the same.Of course, it was awkward for both of us, and we quickly moved to another topic.Afterwards, I felt proud of myself, because I gathered up the courage to tell her, and relieved because a burden was lifted off my chest and there finally weren't any huge "secrets" (again, it had not much of secret but more of an unspoken thing )left between us. But as that day came to an and, the gravity of the situation hit me and i broke down and cried.For the first time in long time.

 

A couple of months of introspection and self-loathing in the summer vacation passed and we didn't see each other or heard from each other much.

When the next school year started, everything was back to normal. We started hanging out even more and becoming even better friends (at least on one side..) Much of the stuff we did would count as dates, considering the intimacy and flirting on both sides, had it been for the actual romantic feelings for me in her.She even invited me to her hometown, and I went, and we had great time.

 

So now I find myself in rather difficult difficult situation. We get along really well and much of the awkwardness is gone.But that may just be because my feelings have once again become the unspoken thing, meaning that we never talk about them explicitly.

 

I have read many similar questions to mine, and almost all the answers say that it is best that i should just end it. But, she is such an important person in my life, and knowing my huge difficulties of liking people and being able to connect with them, I worry that I am not going to meet anyone like her in the next 10 years minimum.So i am inclined to staying friends.

 

On the other hand, I think seeing her with another guy would ruin me.

[Ieris]

I have been in this situation before (being the girl) and usually when I reject a friends advances, they disappear out of my life like they want nothing to do with me. They don't even want to be my friend anymore and I wonder if they were just trying to get close to me all along...

 

There have been a few occasions where things went back to how they were and we remained friends. Few years down the line and I am still friends with these guys, we're like brother and sister. I'm glad we didn't throw it all away...

[ralfgarnett]

You don't need to stay friends with her your only 20 years old, by all means be civil with her but go out and find the next one at 20 years old they are so easy to find, I repeat you are too young to collect female friends instead get a big gang of male friends you can go out for a beer with and go clubbing with and the rest will follow my friend.