CopingGal Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 I'm ready to give up on love. No man has ever truly loved me. The love of my life turned out to be a sociopath who lived a double life and threw the woman he cheated with in my face over and over again. He shattered me, never apologized and actually thought what he did was funny. No one asks me out. I've never been married. Men don't seem to care about my hopes and my dreams, or who I am. I usually meet one of two kinds of men- ones that think I'm not pretty enough to be their girlfriend and the other kind just wants to get me into bed. One guy I was dating some years ago literally told me I was not pretty enough for a commitment. I'm...just...done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somecamel Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 I'm ready to give up on love. No man has ever truly loved me. The love of my life turned out to be a sociopath who lived a double life and threw the woman he cheated with in my face over and over again. He shattered me, never apologized and actually thought what he did was funny. No one asks me out. I've never been married. Men don't seem to care about my hopes and my dreams, or who I am. I usually meet one of two kinds of men- ones that think I'm not pretty enough to be their girlfriend and the other kind just wants to get me into bed. One guy I was dating some years ago literally told me I was not pretty enough for a commitment. I'm...just...done. Give up on loving others for a bit but you must never give up loving yourself. You don't seem to have a lot of respect for yourself and I'd imagine that the now ex love of your life has extenuated your low self confidence? Why are you so desperate to find love anyway? I've been on every online date site I can to try and meet new people to try and fill the void that I'm missing from my break up a year ago however the last few days after lots of unsuccessful dates I'm now looking to stop all that and start to work on myself instead. Please give yourself a proverbially kick up your own arse and realise there's only one person that is going to be with you forever and that is you. Hope you can get through this:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 It's too easy to just give up, granted everyone is in their right to do so whenever they feel they've crossed their limit. There is no doubt that continuously meeting men that do not appreciate you and treat you like dirt, can cloud your vision so much that you perhaps don't even notice the "right" men. I don't know what you expect of a man, everyone have different requirements but finding someone who will genuinely show interest in you, your dreams, support and love you, even when you are not at your best, is really not that difficult. For whatever it's worth, if someone tells you, that you are not pretty enough for commitment, I'd seriously tell that person to sod off. If you are dating or meeting people with such attitudes and manners, then you are really being unlucky/choosing the wrong kind. Both men and women can be horrible, I really could not see myself spend much time at all, with someone who is shallow or displays traits of ignorance and bigotry. You can meet wonderful people literally anywhere, it just seems unfair to yourself if you let a small sample of experience prevent you from meeting someone who can change your view on life and others forever. Perhaps you could start by finding someone who you can be good friends with and develop things from there, it's most certainly a route I find to be of advantage, as you spend your time with someone who shares same interest and possibly goals too. Link to post Share on other sites
Athens58 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I believed the very same thing growing up, I was always told that I wasn't bad looking and that there would be someone for me out there. Eventually when I did marry, she wasn't very pretty but as she got older and we had kids she turned beautiful. Our marriage was awful and we didn't get along, I don't think to this day we can be in a room for more than 15 minutes without arguing.... we were together for 10 years and in the end I believe it was because I believed that I couldn't find anyone as pretty as her, that if we split up she'd find someone right away and I would be left alone. Well we split up and just as I said guys are flocking to her, but you have to think, how many really want a relationship with her and how many just want to get her in bed. I think it's better to find someone whom you have a connection with... I am meeting new people and keeping busy, been on a couple of dates and I know there girls who like me. Don't try to find love, love will find you. Forget about those who have treated you badly and focus on the good things that you have going for you. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I'm ready to give up on love. No man has ever truly loved me. The love of my life turned out to be a sociopath who lived a double life and threw the woman he cheated with in my face over and over again. He shattered me, never apologized and actually thought what he did was funny. No one asks me out. I've never been married. Men don't seem to care about my hopes and my dreams, or who I am. I usually meet one of two kinds of men- ones that think I'm not pretty enough to be their girlfriend and the other kind just wants to get me into bed. One guy I was dating some years ago literally told me I was not pretty enough for a commitment. I'm...just...done. my ex told a friend once he loves me not enough to marry me...i am not quite sure how that works.....:0)...truth is more like he is afraid of commitment and seeks to destroy it....thats not my fault.....i have not been married either.....i am forty five yr old single mum who has teenagers..five offspring in all..hows that for not dateable..... whatever your life is whatever my life is...all we can do is live it..we were given this gift of life to live........if its single then its single.......if its coupled then its coupled....we have to appreciate what we have got rather than what we dont...and yeah it gets lonely.....hard to believe i get lonely with how many people live in my house...but i do..even though i am hardly ever alone......that special someone.....is a missing thing i feel ...that connection that bond ......is a beautiful thing......i dont have that right now doesnt mean i might not one day have that connection...i know i can form connections and i know i am good in a relationship..as good as i am out of one..but i have eloads of things and people around whom i love and they love me back...i have hobbies and i have this life......if i didnt know sadness i wont know joy when it comes my way.....and i actually know joy...have had it..still have it ..maybe not a fulness of joy but a slice and a slice often....that gives me a smile now.......i find joy in little things...stupid random things that make me wonder aloud sometimes.....is this real....is it a sign for times to come.......and it often is......your life is a path its beautiful and its crooked ....because its meant to be beautiful and crooked...you arent meant to see aroudn the corner...god sees that for you...because the corner has unseen hope there god is planting seeds and isnt ready fro you to see the garden by the water he si creating....and that unseen hope is better left in tomorrow.....so it can be a discovery that was worth every bit of sadness you have ever felt.... be you be proud smile often count your blessings dance like no one is watching...hugs from me to you.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 he didnt think you were pretty enough for a commitment? i wonder what would happen to this man if he ever became sick or something...boy would his priorities change fast. you dodge a bullet with a MAJOR LOSER!!!! : ) its hard to find a quality guy but its true it God willing it will be easier if we have better attitudes too. i think these links are insightful and i just wanted to pass them on. sometimes you have to refer to them more than once as a reminder. hope you enjoy them. quality girl and cool girl how to build attraction matt boggs how men fall in love men are from mars women are from venus more jon grey hang in there dont give up. God Bless Link to post Share on other sites
Author CopingGal Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Give up on loving others for a bit but you must never give up loving yourself. You don't seem to have a lot of respect for yourself and I'd imagine that the now ex love of your life has extenuated your low self confidence? Why are you so desperate to find love anyway? I've been on every online date site I can to try and meet new people to try and fill the void that I'm missing from my break up a year ago however the last few days after lots of unsuccessful dates I'm now looking to stop all that and start to work on myself instead. Please give yourself a proverbially kick up your own arse and realise there's only one person that is going to be with you forever and that is you. Hope you can get through this:) Whoa. Thanks, but whoa. You said I don't have a lot of self-esteem? I did NOT tolerate that jackass throwing women in my face. I left him because I do have self-esteem and a lot of it. If I didn't I would just let men take me to bed, but I don't. First of all, the only reason why I stayed with that jackass was because I didn't know what was going on. He was a compulsive liar. I only found out about his double life AFTER I left him. After I left him He threw the woman he cheated with in my face again and again but I could not get away from it. He would call me to throw women in my face. I could not change my number because the phone number was not in my name and the person who had the phone refused to change the number. Even when he did not throw women in my face I would tell him to stay away from me. I threatened to call the police 4 different times. Only then did he stop calling. I stay away from the men who treated me bad in my life...I don't spend time with them. I've turned down lots of men for different reasons. I keep turning them down because I deserve better and I know that. Yes, my self esteem needs to keep improving, but low? Nope. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CopingGal Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Thanks for all of the responses. The man who told me I was not pretty enough is not a handsome man. He is just a shallow loser who hated the fact that I gained weight. I stay away from him. As far as the sociopath goes, I walked away from him and NEVER asked him to take me back. He is a VERY, VERY sick man....very sick man. Lately I've been turning lots of men down that I meet online. They simply are not good enough for me. I've been alone for years, but continue to turn them down because they are simply not good enough for me. I don't date sleaze anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Blaqwynter Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Was this guy's name Matt? Same crap happened to me where ex was having double life and used manipulation as a tool to gain power over my emotions and to thinking I could try and save the relationship. Boy was I dumb! He's dumb for leaving me for an engaged girl who has kids! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author CopingGal Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 His name was not Matt...but then again he lied to be about his real name anyway. Sorry you went through that. I don't know how evil Matt is, but this particular person (my ex) is pure evil. He's not human. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CopingGal Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Thanks for all of the responses. Truth be told, I am sick of men. I'm sick of these 5 time losers that keep darkening my doorstep. I reject everyone man I meet because so far all I meet are losers. I will stay by myself. That's not low self-esteem; that's high self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts