Anxiety Attack

[DenverDude]

I just had an extreme burst of anxiety hit me at work. I was fine all morning, until she entered my mind. It almost felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to step outside and walk around the lake here at work to calm down. I am back at my desk now, but man... that really scared me. I am still shaking a little but am doing better. This really ****ing sucks. I just cant NOT stop loving her. It's hard when they can just cut the cord on the relationship and expect the 'dumpee' to just be fine and move on. Falling out of love is so hard to do when one you never fell out of love in the first place

 

When you guys get these anxiety rushes, what is you way of dealing with them?

[Feelbettersoon]

So I got these at the beginning of the breakup, they were awful, couldn't breath, heart raced, I was dizzy, nauseated and so overwhelmed I couldn't even get my head around it.

 

Now whenever someone mentions my ex, or asks about the situation, or I see his name popping up somewhere, the symptoms have eased, but I still have a PUMPING heart and my body flushes.

 

I think that in time these symptoms ease and we become less affected by our ex's and the breakup.

 

Heres hoping! The anxiety caused by a breakup can be overwhelming, deep breaths helps (so many people say this but it really does! inhale for 5, hold for 5 and exhale for 5)

[DenverDude]

Thanks man. After my little episode this morning, my boss took a few of us out to lunch, and I just had no appetite. I had to force the food down.

 

How long has it been since your breakup? I'm wondering how long I can expect these anxiety rushes whenever something little comes up.

[ralfgarnett]

I just had an extreme burst of anxiety hit me at work. I was fine all morning, until she entered my mind. It almost felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to step outside and walk around the lake here at work to calm down. I am back at my desk now, but man... that really scared me. I am still shaking a little but am doing better. This really ****ing sucks. I just cant NOT stop loving her. It's hard when they can just cut the cord on the relationship and expect the 'dumpee' to just be fine and move on. Falling out of love is so hard to do when one you never fell out of love in the first place

 

When you guys get these anxiety rushes, what is you way of dealing with them?

 

I had one about 1 hour ago, I felt hot, scared, panicky, te I broke down in tears mourning for our 17 year old marriage

[DenverDude]

17 years... I can't even imagine how you are processing everything. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am in the middle of trying to cope from my ex of almost 3 years... 17 years seems like eternity compared to me. How long has it been since the split? Hang in there man.

[KBarletta]

I am one month into a separation after a six year marriage (10 year relationship) and I still get these every few days.

 

As soon as the negative thoughts enter my head and I know where my mind is going, I consciously try to redirect my thoughts at something completely different. Listen to a song that takes you to a happier place and time, take a series of long, deep breaths, focus your thoughts on something else altogether. Or, if you are able, throw on some headphones and exercise like a madman for a half hour or so.

 

I know it's hard - I've been there (and was there today). But if you hang in there and keep trying to redirect your thoughts onto positive things, it will get better.

[DenverDude]

Thanks for all of the support, everyone. Today has just been one of those really crappy days . I miss her very much. I really do appreciate all of the advice.

[BC1980]

I used to get bursts of anxiety over things that would have never bothered me before. I think it's all part of reordering your life, and that will always bring anxiety. Any big change brings on all types of different emotions. A breakup is usually a sudden change. Even if you were having problems, it seems that it's often a sudden a traumatic change.

[SethDamien]

i feel you @denverdude...

 

i too had a relationship for 3 years, whats bad is we work in the same office. Its not only my health that's in jeopardy but also my work...i sometimes take unreasonably long breaks just to cope with my anxiety attacks...

 

i just breathe deeply out of nowhere and remember her, my heart starts to palpitate.. but i avoid drama in the office so i stay in the toilet to scream it all inside my head. I'm still wondering though how long do these anxiety attacks usually last.

 

But upon reading from people like RALFGARNETT, they had it worse. sometimes, i feel lucky i had to experience this and learn early before it had come worse in the future... kind of makes me think our problem is minute compared to what these other guy's been through. My dad passed away a couple of months ago, my parents lasted 35 long years together.

[love2ride]

I get these too. I actually went into a depression. I checked into the hospital. I started feeling frantic and helpless and the only thing I thought would stop my sadness was getting her back so I bombarded her with emails begging. Bad idea. Lol. But I couldn't control myself. Anyway I'm on depression meds I take adivan and sleeping pills as I need them. I'm still a mess and when I think of her I get stomach pain and naseaus. Also still get the frantic helpless feelings and feel like crying most of the day.

[ralfgarnett]

17 years... I can't even imagine how you are processing everything. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am in the middle of trying to cope from my ex of almost 3 years... 17 years seems like eternity compared to me. How long has it been since the split? Hang in there man.

 

Yes not going to lie its very difficult to process, there have been times where I have almost lost the plot, I am in grief counselling and take anti depressants and sleepers, a few weeks ago I went over to Germany for a shot break and the effort it took was huge but I did it, I don't honestly think that I will ever feel happy again, we have been together 20 years married 17 and she was my life I loved her so much still do, we see each other maybe once or twice a week either she comes round or we meet for a coffee or a walk in the park, but it feels a bit weird sometimes as we don't hold hands, we don't kiss, we talk a lot but she cant talk about our separation as she gets panic attackes herself and they destroy the opportunities to talk about the reasons she left which tbh are still not very clear to me and probably even her, if you want to hear my story then ill post the link to my thread I think I'm allowed to do that

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/496632-recently-separated-after-20-wonderful-years-feel-so-low-lonely-lost#post5936798

Edited November 25, 2014 by ralfgarnett

[Feelbettersoon]

Thanks man. After my little episode this morning, my boss took a few of us out to lunch, and I just had no appetite. I had to force the food down.

 

How long has it been since your breakup? I'm wondering how long I can expect these anxiety rushes whenever something little comes up.

 

...ugh 4 months! I was blind sighted though, so i guess everyones situation is different

[IfiKnewThen]

i wake up every morning feeling dread and dispear. and the worst is this heavy weight on my chest. and pain in my chest by my heart. i feel like im going to have a heart attack. feels like there is nothing to look forward to. im sick of the image of him in my head . im sick that he isnt loving me back. im sicker that i was the dumper and caused this. but that now im the dumpee, as well. got it in both directions. hate myself for ending it b4 i could see where it could have gone with us. hate that he wont take me back.

hate that hes not honest with me. told me there was hope just this past week...yet doesn't call me. i've been so mind &*((^'d i dont know what to do to heal my mind body and soul anymore. i keep praying to God for an answer and to please take this pain and feeling and longing away.

[Xidion]

I feel your pain. I'm 1 month after the breakup. Still going through her sending me breadcrumps once a week. I have dreams about her.. holding her.. her cheating on me. I'm all over the place. Enough about me. You will eventually get through this. It just takes time. Practice complete NC. Chin up.. walk tall. Now is the time to find yourself and become a better man.

[Leegh]

It can help to reduce and/or eliminate (preferably eliminate) caffeinated beverages; coffee, tea, cola, etc., as caffeine can magnify anxiety, stress, etc. It's best to do it very gradually, as stopping suddenly creates the problem of withdrawal symptoms.

[ralfgarnett]

It can help to reduce and/or eliminate (preferably eliminate) caffeinated beverages; coffee, tea, cola, etc., as caffeine can magnify anxiety, stress, etc. It's best to do it very gradually, as stopping suddenly creates the problem of withdrawal symptoms.

 

 

good advice I only have coffee at breakfast then drink water the rest of the day, but I did that anyway before all our s=it happened just more conscious of it since we separated, as I said very good advice oh yes keep booze to a sensible level I have made a t-t out of myself more than once since July

[polaske93]

I just started a new job when I found out that she started dating my "friend" I introduced her too. Anxiety was something new to me. Everyday I was at work she was all I could think about. I started smoking cigarettes so I had an excuse to get away from co workers and customers for 10 minutes and fight back the tears. I lasted about a month then I had to quit the job one morning because my anxiety and depression got so bad

[IfiKnewThen]

i feel for all of u. this really sucks. im sick of shaking everyday and feeling no joy ..only dread. i wish i had a tip to share.

[ralfgarnett]

i feel for all of u. this really sucks. im sick of shaking everyday and feeling no joy ..only dread. i wish i had a tip to share.

 

 

And I / we feel your pain also, god bless and take care of yourself the best you can, unfortunately there is no quick fix and no magic wands, what you need is a recovery tool box containing as much support as you can, family, friends, healthcare, local vicar, Samaritans, belief, hope, prayers etc etc in fact all you can think of that you can lean on for support, I don't include alcohol in there though, its ok to have a couple to take the edge off but too much is not a good idea and drugs are a definite no no, good luck and keep posting get your thoughts out of your mind

[Sunberry]

I usually either wait it out, do a breahing excerise, or take medication. I have anxiety habitually and can't help it. So, at the moment I'm trying to except that it's a part of me.

 

I understand you're concern. It hurts and it's unbearable. I think if I ever see my ex, my heart would burst. Not only from memories but from anxiety. It' just the fear of failure all over again and old memories of pain.

 

I think the first step of coping is accepting the loss and the pain...from there you can work from inside out and begin to take the steps needed to become comfortable.

[DenverDude]

Ugh. The anxiety is really kicking in right now at the moment I really miss her.

[love2ride]

I hear ya guys. My anxiety and depression is so bad. Dr. put me on Pristiq and have sleeping pills and divan. Going to the doc monday to increase my dosage. I know my ex is seeing someone and all i think about is how she is probably completely fine cuddling him right now while my life has come upside down. I hate the tummy pains when she enters my mind. Gonna be moving back with my parents at 39 until i'm better because i just can't live on my own at the moment. How pathetic is that. And I got another breadcrumb via text from her this morning which i ignored.

[ralfgarnett]

I hear ya guys. My anxiety and depression is so bad. Dr. put me on Pristiq and have sleeping pills and divan. Going to the doc monday to increase my dosage. I know my ex is seeing someone and all i think about is how she is probably completely fine cuddling him right now while my life has come upside down. I hate the tummy pains when she enters my mind. Gonna be moving back with my parents at 39 until i'm better because i just can't live on my own at the moment. How pathetic is that. And I got another breadcrumb via text from her this morning which i ignored.

 

 

 

I hear you pal I hear you loud and clear and feel your pain, let me tell you something that might give you some hope, only 2 weeks ago I hit an all time low with depression and had to see my GP in a triage appointment to change my meds, well she did and 2 weeks later I am feeling much calmer and far less stressed and depressed, so have hope my Canadian cousin that you can only go so low before you start to float back upwards, good luck in your journey and let us know how you get on, but you will be ok one day because quite simply you have to be ok there is no other option.