AaronSG Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 (edited) Earlier tonight when I was at my local grocery store, as to buy a couples days worth of food, everything at first was going okay, the good feeling I had from completing another support group meeting an hour before, so feeling okay with myself, I ventured into the frozen food section, Standing in front of the pizza section I notice two people coming into the isle, no biggie at first, then I glance at their direction again and notice it's a couple, young woman, kind of older guy, I could tell they were very much in love, holding hands, doing that bumping their shoulders softly into each other thing, smiles, and the eye's............the way their eye's looked at each other with that drippy, sappy love look it hurt! There I was, not trying to look to obvious, but occasionally glancing at them my thoughts drifted off to "you know Aaron, that used to be you right there" and I thought "I remember strolling through this store with my ex-fiance the same way these two are doing" and thinking "I remember what that felt like, I miss that"! As they walked past me I glanced down and saw that these two were very committed to each other, matching rings on their left ring fingers! After they exited the isle, I stood there, alone, emotional, heart wrenched with the memory's of what was, feeling no ill will towards an innocent loving couple who just happened to get near me. So as I stood there in the center of the isle, I lifted my left hand up to where I could see it and looked at my ring finger, which has now been empty of it's engagement ring for little over 4 months. I stood there looking at now an empty ring finger and remembering what it felt like to wear a ring there and be claimed by another. Before I left the isle and just before putting my hand back down to grab the hand basket, while looking at the empty finger for an instant I could almost feel my old ring back on the finger! This was getting to much to take, I grabbed the basket, marched my a** to the register, paid, and got the hell out. While scootering back home in the cold of the night I couldn't stop crying! For what I saw tonight for some reason really rocked my emotional core! Again i have no ill towards the innocent couple, they were there to buy food, not purposely stir up memory's and emotion inside me, just these simple little things that this couple did produced a fire storm inside me! Not being able to do with someone what I witnessed tonight................it just hurts, that's all! Edited November 24, 2014 by AaronSG 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Sorry to hear. I read that and cringed, as I despised shopping with my ex! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I completely understand how you feel. I've had days where it seemed like I was surrounded by no one but happy couples. You WILL find that connection and happiness again... and you'll find it with someone that won't hurt you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arient Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Hi Aaron, I felt so sad when reading what you wrote, because sometimes, I felt and saw the exact same thing. Some big hugs for you. Let's just hope and believe that we will find and experience those sweet things again! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 No worries everything and anything will trigger emotions from the past. But in time this pain will eventually subside be strong friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AaronSG Posted November 25, 2014 Author Share Posted November 25, 2014 Thank you very much, one and all for responding about this! Also, to some of you, thank you for letting me know that am not the only one who experiences this kind of thing. I'm not going to lie or pull any punches here, this sort of stuff, like the innocent loving couple at the grocery store, it still fricking hurts. I know I'm getting better on some levels, things like advertisements on TV like jewelry store commercials, when the man gets on one knee and gives his woman a ring bought at the jewelry store, or things I see in magazines like happy couples enjoying exotic trips and such, that stuff doesn't really bother me anymore. It's the small innocent "real world" things that can hurt! Things that I can see with my own eye's, like the couple in the store, that can hurt. Or I see a loving couple sitting outside of Starbucks, laughing, smiling, the eye's of love, and sipping on their coffee, that hurts to. For some odd reason, since my breakup in mid July, and my ex-faince's departure on August-3rd, I sure have had a heightened sense for spotting couples in love, I almost spot them every where! It's like my damn eye's are a magnet for that kind of action now, I can't answer as to why, it's frustrating....but it just happens. But thank you again for posting, I hope all of you are doing as best you can with your respective situations! Link to post Share on other sites
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