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Broke no contact - feel awful


hopelesslystuck1

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hopelesslystuck1

After months of anonymously going through threads here, I finally decided to post my story...

 

I am 27 (M) got dumped by my ex (23F) back in August right after our trip to Dominican Republic (yeah, go figure). I was a mess for a couple of months...constantly contacting her and asking her to reconsider. She kept saying she needed more time and that we needed to be apart for a while. After a while I got fed up feeling awful so I started researching into no contact... Once I learned more about it, I decided to apply it starting November 1st.

 

I was doing so well for 3 weeks until I got the evil breadcrumb...

 

She just sent the following message:

 

"Hope things are going well with you :D"

 

At first, I wanted to ignore it but I trusted my heart and replied to her stating that things are well.

 

This stupid message also brought back that tiny of bit of hope of reconciliation... After a few days of no communication, I finally reached out to her and asked if she wanted to meet...This is where things got messy and I got rejected again. I finally ended the conversation with "Please don't ever contact me again"...

 

At this point, I feel like I am back at square one and feel terrible about it. I feel like I failed at keeping my own promise to move on...and that I followed a false hoping even though I was almost positive that it would lead me to heartbreak again...

 

Did I undo everything (although at this point, I am not even sure what that "everything" means)?

 

Feeling hopeless and rejected...Hope you guys can share some positive stories that came out of a similar situation.

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We've all done it. Count it as a blessing because this allows you to accept it for what it is and you can move on. Imagine if she strung you along. It's good that you stuck your neck out there one last time and you now can finally close the door.

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hopelesslystuck1

Thanks! I needed the reassurance. At least now I can go back to No-contact and not count the days this time... It's been extremely difficult to kill that list bit of hope...maybe this will do.

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Thanks! I needed the reassurance. At least now I can go back to No-contact and not count the days this time... It's been extremely difficult to kill that list bit of hope...maybe this will do.

 

You're not alone bud, we've all done it. Im guilty of doing it myself. I even went as far as making her guilty to why she cant stay with me with things like "I never cheated on you like your first bf did. But you gave him a second chance, what makes him better and more special than me that you gave him a chance..." Well let me tell you, that didn't go anywhere. To be honest, once a girl has made up her mind. She will stick to her decision. If few months down the road, you've moved on but still want her, then by all means go and send her a message. Only when you move on is when you can have a possibility of a recon, because you can start a clean slate. But even then, by that time you will have a more clear head and will be able to determine whether you really want her back or not. Trust me, I know the feeling of rejection, it kills your ego and confidence, but its part of the process, unless you were the dumper.

 

Dont worry about what you did. Worry about what you will do from this point. Because you yourself is what is important right now. Don't depend on her for. Your happiness. You can't make anyone happy until you're happy with yourself.

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hopelesslystuck1

Yeah, at this point...I am feeling the embarrassment and the bruised ego than anything else. Good to know, I am not alone. I am actually kind of looking forward to re-initiate the no-contact again.

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Yeah, at this point...I am feeling the embarrassment and the bruised ego than anything else. Good to know, I am not alone. I am actually kind of looking forward to re-initiate the no-contact again.

 

Haha its hard I know, Its so hard for me that I have to ask my friends to keep me in probation. They take my phone away when we're out. When were all bored they'll check what im doing on my phone to make sure I'm not going to message her! Haha my friends are awesome. But just saying, I know its hard now but remember the dissapointment you feel when you initiate contact. Ive broken NC about 4 times in a month and all of them led me to dissapointment until i learned my lesson and told myself to stop. It makes me happy each day knowing Im fine and Im stronger than I thought. Believe in yourself bro

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hopelesslystuck1

Haha I hear ya bro...i started leaving my phone in the car when I go to work...It sucks.

 

It got easier after second week and I was sure it would be permanent but her bullsh*t message threw me off. We just need to keep trying I guess.

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So sorry :( I also did the same thing, and also had a same threat at almost the same time with you. I guess we will have to keep remind ourselves of the pain, as a way to stay off. Hugs!!!!

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hopelesslystuck1

I saw your story... I am so sorry. We'll get through this. I promise. Don't beat yourself up for it. As someone said above, we stuck our neck out and learned that sometimes ignorance is bliss. I now truly understand that no contact is also a protection for yourself until you get back on your feet. From now on, I dont want to know what she is up to or who she is with.

 

I've had some time to think about this and I am realizing that this isn't back to square one. It's a setback for sure, but part of the healing process.

 

On another note, I finally closed the last communication channel with my ex...got her number blocked through Tmobile. I feel uneasy at this point, but I've found out that hope is your worst enemy when it comes to getting over someone.

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I saw your story... I am so sorry. We'll get through this. I promise. Don't beat yourself up for it. As someone said above, we stuck our neck out and learned that sometimes ignorance is bliss. I now truly understand that no contact is also a protection for yourself until you get back on your feet. From now on, I dont want to know what she is up to or who she is with.

 

I've had some time to think about this and I am realizing that this isn't back to square one. It's a setback for sure, but part of the healing process.

 

On another note, I finally closed the last communication channel with my ex...got her number blocked through Tmobile. I feel uneasy at this point, but I've found out that hope is your worst enemy when it comes to getting over someone.

 

On a brighter note of that, I felt like part of my feelings died immediately when I found out. So today, I felt better, and I no longer felt like I was pushed back to square one anymore. So I will keep heading towards NC and healing, I wish you the best!!!!!

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