Everything I do reminds me of her...Literally

[creyente7]

I mean I try my best to REALLY REALLY get my mind off her...but everything I do seems hopeless. I go to a strip club, I picture her dancing for me, or even her dancing at the club (ridiculous I know). I watch porn, I picture another guy having sex with her, and cumming on her belly. Forgive me for the details. I see couples, I see me and her. Everything literally reminds me of her, even the slightest resemblance of a public place we had sex at, it reminds me of her... I see a marriot hotel, It reminds me of her. I know all these thoughts are sexual but Im going insane.

 

Screw these thoughts, I'm struggling. Desperate for help

[Xidion]

First of all. You're going to be okay. Keep telling yourself that. Close your eyes. Take a long deep breath and relax. I know what you're going through. You need to get rid of pictures of her... letters.. anything. Do not torture yourself. I'm 3 weeks after the BU and doing a lot better. Now is when you have to be your own best friend. Feel the loss.. embrace the pain. Cry.. punch a pillow.. let it out man. Do not keep your emotions inside. Make some goals that you want to accomplish. Now is time to take control of your life. The biggest thing with this is time and persistence. Stay strict no contact.. for yourself. You WILL get through this. I know you will because I am getting through my situation after being caught completely off guard and left with NO chance of talking to her. Do what you like to do. Play video games.. watch a movie that you and her never watched together... go stay at your parents house or a friends for awhile. Anything you can do. but most of all.. don't stalk her FB page or look at her pictures. That will only make things WORSE. We are here for you.

[creyente7]

First of all. You're going to be okay. Keep telling yourself that. Close your eyes. Take a long deep breath and relax. I know what you're going through. You need to get rid of pictures of her... letters.. anything. Do not torture yourself. I'm 3 weeks after the BU and doing a lot better. Now is when you have to be your own best friend. Feel the loss.. embrace the pain. Cry.. punch a pillow.. let it out man. Do not keep your emotions inside. Make some goals that you want to accomplish. Now is time to take control of your life. The biggest thing with this is time and persistence. Stay strict no contact.. for yourself. You WILL get through this. I know you will because I am getting through my situation after being caught completely off guard and left with NO chance of talking to her. Do what you like to do. Play video games.. watch a movie that you and her never watched together... go stay at your parents house or a friends for awhile. Anything you can do. but most of all.. don't stalk her FB page or look at her pictures. That will only make things WORSE. We are here for you.

 

Im 5 weeks post BU. She's blocked me on FB, Instagram, Snapchat (told her to do it). Yes ive cried, punched walls, wrote letters, talked to friends bout my BU (Non stop). I feel the loss, even accepted it. I love the pain, it makes me feel good to get through it. Just the persistent thoughts of her being intimate with another guy. To be honest, I have no clue whats going on with her life, and I tend to keep it that way for a while because I don't ever want to see her with another guy. Atleast not now. Even when I feel healed and ready, I'd still wouldnt want to know about any of her dating life. I'd like to keep in my head I'm the last guy she dated, even if it werent true. But ignorance is a bliss, what I dont know or see wont hurt me. As far as I know i'm the last guy she dated, so maybe keep that thought in my head, even when I'm 70 years old, id still be the last guy she dated because I'll never want to find out about her dating life EVER... Lol call that bitter but I'm selfish when it comes to my own mental health. I know that even 5 years from now, even if I'm in a happy new relationship, I'd still be affected if I see who she's dating.

 

Maybe its cuz she's my first love, my first real relationship. Longest one I've dated. Too many memories to think of her doing those things with anyone else but me.

[Cedar27]

They say the first real long relationship is the hardest to get over. I have personally found that to be untrue. Nevertheless, the fact is you are hurting real bad right now. You have every right to feel what you are feeling, but don't get overly obsessive. As another poster said embrace everything but at the same time don't over do it. Feel your depressing thoughts but also pepper them with good ones. Such as the fact that there are thousands, if not millions of girls in this world who would love to have you as their partner.

 

I always like the idea of thinking about all of the things I missed out on with the girl I am getting over. Instead of reminiscing about all the good times, think about all the times you said "I don't know if I want to deal with this for the rest of my life". The next girl that comes around might not have that problem! Hey, maybe she's freakier in bed! Who knows? Now you have the chance to find out.

[AaronSG]

I have no clue whats going on with her life.

 

You might not feel this way about it right now! But eventually, if you keep on with having "no clue" with what's going on with her life, this will eventually save you!

 

You'll be fine, you will, eventually one of these day's you won't care about who she is dating, or seeing, or in relations with, or perhaps even married to! Right now it's all very "raw", it's fresh and new, but things will eventually get better, it just doesn't seem like that yet.

 

Stay "no contact" and that process will save you in ways you can't even imagine!

 

Stay strong, keep your chin up and know, it will get better as time goes on!

[Christophe]

It's 5 months on for me and my ex was my first love too. I like you, miss the intimacy and the sex like crazy sometimes and I know how hard it is to imagine sharing that with anyone else again. I guess I want to let you know I understand exactly how you feel. I dreamed of her last night for the first time in a while and woke up thinking about sex with her. I know it's not easy but hang in there!