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zoloft body snatched my girlfriend


mr.blond

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Was in a loving 6 year relationship with a girl I loved more than anything in the world. Everything was fine, she was devoted and loving and deeply emotional. She always claimed to have social axiety but I never noticed anything of the sort in her, Ithink everyone has some degree of social anxiety and that normal and nessesary. Anywas she gets it in her head that she wants to see a professional about it. After a 10 minut Dr. visit he puts her on a 100mg dose of zoloft. One month after she starts the meds she tells me without one ounce of emotion that she doesnt love me anymore and want out of the relationship. A week earlier she was asking me when we were gonna have a baby etc. Im not one to be caught off gaurd by anythin, but this is the greatest shock of my life. She was compleatly body snatched by zoloft. The girl I knew a week prior was deeply comited and devoted to me. This happed a little over a month ago and I still cant sleep, I am devistated. Iv been in several ltr's and nothing has ever felt like this. Its like she died. It still feels un real. Does any one have any experiance with something like this?

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Was she put on 100mg/day to start?

 

The usual starting dose for social anxiety disorder is 25 or 50 mg/day, to be titered up as needed. She needs to find a new doctor. Has she been compliant with taking the med daily, or just taking them as she feels like it?

 

 

If she's been taking them, make sure she doesn't stop abruptly.

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Thats all I know. Atleast thats what I was told. But thats not the point. She made it clear she was going to continue the meds for at least the year and that the meds have nothing to do with her ending our 6 year relationship out of no where. She has no emotions when we talk and cant explain why she isnt in love with me anymore. A week before she ended it, she was talking about wanting my baby etc. This situation is killing me.

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This may or may not have something to do with the meds. The fact that shortly before breaking up with you she was talking about long term BS is very, very common. Chances are she has been thinking about ending the RS for a while and it just was a coincidence or catalyst that it matched up with the start of the meds...

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Although antidepressants like Zoloft can rob people of their moods and destroy their relationships, marriages and their lives. All you have to do is Google search "Zoloft destroyed my marriage" and tons of posts will pop up.

 

Even if your girlfriend was thinking of breaking up with you before she went on the Zoloft, she wouldn't turn around that quickly to break up with you. I think her behavior and change of heart was a direct result of her Zoloft intake.

 

I'm very against anything medication-related. I think anti-depressants are a complete scam but that is for another thread.

 

I think you lost your girlfriend to Zoloft. I know and expect people to disagree with me, but it's a drug for god sake. And it's a drug that messes up the brain whether or not people who take them are willing to do the research that proves this fact.

 

I'm sorry this happened. Obviously the only way to get her back is to get her off Zoloft before she's been on it for too long. Don't know how you could accomplish that though.

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jackinthebox1

This can actually be a factor.

I had a gf who was on the pill and just suddenly went depressed and ended things. While later she came off it and didn't understand why she had done it.

 

My current ex, we didnt really have any problems. A few days before she ended things she started some new meds, she's still on them, i think they are pretty permanent unfortunately.

 

But then, i'm sure it can't 100% push someone to do something, just confuse them.

Whatever meds you are on you're up and down so hopefully in the space to make a decision at some point

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Thanks for the responses, Iv never felt this cheated before. Like the meds just took her from me. What will happen if she tappers off the meds? How will she feel about all this?

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jackinthebox1

Thats really scary.

My ex went to the doctors for help with her anxiety 4 days before we broke up. She was put on some pills and she told me "When we argued i completely shut down and i dont know why" which makes so much sense.

It may not be true but if it is that sucks because there is literally nothing you can do about that.

My argument with my ex was because i thought she was on drugs in the first place, so bringing that up again now would be a bad idea LOL

Maybe she was though looking back on it, or meds anyway

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Thanks for the responses, Iv never felt this cheated before. Like the meds just took her from me. What will happen if she tappers off the meds? How will she feel about all this?

 

Unfortunately you can't force your girlfriend to taper off of her meds. Titrate is the term actually...which means to taper slowly. It can be done with little to no side effects successfully and soon she'd be back to herself. But that is her choice unfortunately, not yours. As her boyfriend you can share your concerns with her about how you think the Zoloft has effected her; even go over the list (and it's long) of side effects from Zoloft. Maybe that will be enough to convince her to get off of it and deal with her social anxiety without medication. After all, social anxiety can easily be treated with meditation and cognitive therapy.

 

Medication doesn't get rid of social anxiety or make it better. Social anxiety stems from you own root beliefs of yourself, a discomfort, a fear. Medication can't eradicate beliefs.

 

The only way to change her belief system is to address what her fear-based beliefs are that cause her to have social anxiety. Once she faces those fears, she can then deal with her social anxiety in a pro-active way that doesn't require her to be on a medication prescription.

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ya Iv been internet reasearching this for the last month. guess this some kind of epidemic. There are even studies that suggest ssris interfear with peoples ability to be in love with someone. This sucks so bad.

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I know this must be agonizing for you.

 

I take zoloft and have for years. It really has helped me with my depression. Im sure you dont want to hear this but She might have a better quality of life with it as well.

 

You have to let go.

 

You have to be no contact. Do not speak to her.

 

focus on rebuilding your mind and your identity. Eventually the pain becomes bearable. I will be rooting for you. .

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here's another forum about the side effects of Zoloft on relationships.

 

ANTI DEPRESSANTS SSRIs AND 'I DONT LOVE ANYMORE' - DivorceBusting.com

Thanks for the links. I almost feel like I need to get on somthing to numb out. Iv been dating and sleeping with a few girls to try and hurry the process but it seems like its making it worse. Its like I PTSD from the shock of all this.

Edited by mr.blond
typo
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well im glad you have something to help with your depression. But she wasn't all that depressed, nothing she couldn't have worked through. from what Iv been reading most people are never able to get off the meds once they start, and those that do struggle with more severe mental illnesses. Im all for meds if your on the brink, but that wasn't the case.

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Iv been dating and sleeping with a few girls to try and hurry the process but it seems like its making it worse.

 

 

 

Making sure everyone has been tested for STDs, I hope?

 

 

And using condoms?

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Making sure everyone has been tested for STDs, I hope?

 

 

And using condoms?

 

please spare me the sex ed. Im looking for some insight into what happened from someone who has been on either side of a situation like this.

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Thats really scary.

My ex went to the doctors for help with her anxiety 4 days before we broke up. She was put on some pills and she told me "When we argued i completely shut down and i dont know why" which makes so much sense.

It may not be true but if it is that sucks because there is literally nothing you can do about that.

My argument with my ex was because i thought she was on drugs in the first place, so bringing that up again now would be a bad idea LOL

Maybe she was though looking back on it, or meds anyway

 

ya, we never really argued about anything but music taste. Did your ex ever get off the meds? if she did, did she feel any kind of remorse for what happened?

 

i cant fathom how a girl that sensitive to her emotions could end a 6 year relationship and be completely fine and not even morn the relationship

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is she going to therapy too. she may have been having self counseling before too and decided to leave you...and was making the break anyway? i dont trust any of those drugs either. i hear u. BUT any talking to this dr.? or just a regular md?

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No counseling. She just went to a general practitioner. not a shrink. We were close to each other, I dont think she entertained the thought of breaking up before the pills.

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If you truly feel that these pills have altered her mental state for the worse and not for the better then maybe you should call her doctor and tell him that since she's been on those pills she doesn't seem right. Maybe he will take her off of them. I think once you make a physician aware of something they should probably address it. Besides if those pills are making her feel dead inside then you never know what she might do.

 

But if you honestly feel she is happier now than before then you should let her go. That is how you show that you truly love her.

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No counseling. She just went to a general practitioner. not a shrink. We were close to each other, I dont think she entertained the thought of breaking up before the pills.

 

While I know that you are hurt now, I don't think you can really have any way of knowing this. She may have had other issues that she did not manifest clearly to you, or you didn't notice. She may have been unhappy with other aspects that were not directly a result of the relationship, but nevertheless would make her feel differently about the relationship.

 

Even though you were in a relationship for six years, mental disorders can be very easy to hide (speaking as a person who's had to live with one for his entire life).

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hug her a lot. say baby pls lets fix this. dont be hasty. i love you. i will be here for you thru depression.

 

 

men this means really listening and loving. you dont have to fix everything but we need to purge our stresses. its how we feel better . its why woman talk.

thats how we rid ourselves of stress.

 

i am NOT saying ur NOT doing this. i am saying ...do it. but be consistent or we feel like we are on a rollar coaster ride and cant trust you. when trust is broken all fails.

 

love, sensitivity....prayers. and she still may not stay with you. but you will be more attractive that way. she doesnt need macho man now. trust me on that much.

 

then after she TRUSTS YOU, talk about weening her off the pills. or get her to go ask about it to her dr.

 

ask her to at least get a second opinion.

 

will she love u or want you off the pills. if you give it your best shot and dont compound stress. yes. i think it will be more likely at least

 

do NOT, i repeat lol...do NOT intimidate her. she doesnt need militant tough love. she need tender care

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Strength in Healing

IfIKnewThen, I don't think he can hold her and all that considering she broke up with him. And I'd wager if he said "baby plz let's fix this" over and over again, he'll quickly find that his number has been blocked by her.

 

 

 

 

mr.blond, whilst it's true it could be the meds fault via making her emotionless, it could rather be that the meds just allowed her to speak her mind free of anxiety and depression; i.e., how she was really feeling.

 

 

Maybe she would come back one day, but better believe if I were you I sure as hell wouldn't jump back into that sinking boat anytime quick. You like witnessing train wrecks, go rent Unstoppable with Denzel.

Edited by Strength in Healing
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If it is the meds, will she try to reconcile if she ever goes off them?

 

No one here can predict what she'll do if she goes off the Zoloft. Only she knows. If you want to reconcile with her, start the process now while she's on meds.

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