One month today :(

[Targetlock]

Been one month today since my girlfriend broke my heart (very suddenly and through messaging )and ended it, still feels like it happened yesterday trying to get over it but it has been a hard month, some days are easier than others and finding it hard to be happy at the moment, especially late at night when i feel most alone.

I havent heard anything from her except a message saying she is unfriending me on facebook to make it easier, all her friends did the same as well.

I know this is probably a bad idea, but i'm going to try and contact her at the end of the month and see how she has been and whether she still feels the same, i expect it to nowhere but i have to know i guess and then i can finally move on and let her go

[Dontfindme]

You shouldn't be keeping track of how long it has been - but I do understand that initially, it's a bit difficult not to.

 

Don't regress, don't contact her.

 

How about instead of contacting her, you set some goals for yourself - things that will better your life, and consequentially, lead to more meaningful relationships?

 

It will get better!

[SoThatHappened]

Targetlock,

 

I remember posting on your original thread.

 

Rule #1: Do not contact her.

 

Rule #2: Do NOT contact her.

 

It's only been a month, and everything you're feeling is absolutely normal.

 

I have bad news. It's going to get a little worse before it gets better.

 

You may be thinking, "But how can it get worse?" Well, because it has to.

 

You will hit the realization stage soon (hopefully). It's the hardest and best stage at the same time. It's when it finally hits you that she's gone.

 

You'll realize it's over, and then you'll get over that final hurdle of holding out hope. Not saying that you won't hurt anymore, it'll just be that you've accepted what has happened and have moved forward.

 

Right now you're still in different stages of heartbreak: denial, bargaining, anger... whatever. You'll get past these stages, hit the acceptance stage, and move on with your life.

 

Do not contact her, though. She dumped you. The ball is in her court. The only thing you're responsible to do is move on. That's it.

[Targetlock]

Targetlock,

 

I remember posting on your original thread.

 

Rule #1: Do not contact her.

 

Rule #2: Do NOT contact her.

 

It's only been a month, and everything you're feeling is absolutely normal.

 

I have bad news. It's going to get a little worse before it gets better.

 

You may be thinking, "But how can it get worse?" Well, because it has to.

 

You will hit the realization stage soon (hopefully). It's the hardest and best stage at the same time. It's when it finally hits you that she's gone.

 

You'll realize it's over, and then you'll get over that final hurdle of holding out hope. Not saying that you won't hurt anymore, it'll just be that you've accepted what has happened and have moved forward.

 

Right now you're still in different stages of heartbreak: denial, bargaining, anger... whatever. You'll get past these stages, hit the acceptance stage, and move on with your life.

 

Do not contact her, though. She dumped you. The ball is in her court. The only thing you're responsible to do is move on. That's it.

 

 

good advice i guess, its so hard each day not contacting her and its so easy to contact her as well every day she doesnt makes it a little easier i guess.

[SoThatHappened]

Pick one:

 

1 - Do you want to push her away and make her feel better about dumping you?

 

2 - Do you want her to possibly realize she was wrong and come back to you?

[Targetlock]

option 2 of course, just no idea how to go about doing it that is all i know how i still feel about her, hence why this is so painful and difficult to figure out.

[SoThatHappened]

OK, well the best way for option #2 to come to fruition is if you don't contact her.

 

It's not the easiest nor least painful, but it can be less painful than contacting her and finding out things that hurt even more.

 

This is how you do it:

 

- Block/remove/delete from all social media.

- Get rid of everything (or hide everything) that reminds you of her.

- Work on yourself - appearance, mind, emotions, etc.

- Stay busy

- Hang with friends and family as much as possible.

 

Just don't text/email/check social media/call.

 

If she comes back, then she comes back. But don't push her further away by contacting her.

[Targetlock]

i guess its also hard for me as this is the first real time ive had to deal with this. as for that list i've been working on most of those things, some are easier than others of course (though she removed me from social media first, and her friends did too)

[SoThatHappened]

Heartbreak is not easy to go through, especially when it's your first one.

 

You're a good guy with a heart, and of course it's going to hurt.

 

I know what you mean about some things on that list being easier than others. The hardest is usually staying no contact.

 

This hurt you're experiencing does pass though, I promise you that.

[CT98]

Targetlock, how are you feeling compared to where you were at day 1? I'm assuming better? Even just a little bit?

 

What helps me is thinking back to how I felt a month ago, realising how much better I feel now, and using that to imagine how much better I will feel in another month's time.

 

Heartbreak sucks mate, but you'll get through it.

 

By the way, I'm a Devon boy. Westcountry folk unite!

[Targetlock]

Targetlock, how are you feeling compared to where you were at day 1? I'm assuming better? Even just a little bit?

 

What helps me is thinking back to how I felt a month ago, realising how much better I feel now, and using that to imagine how much better I will feel in another month's time.

 

Heartbreak sucks mate, but you'll get through it.

 

By the way, I'm a Devon boy. Westcountry folk unite!

 

yeah the first week was easily the worst, the darkest part where i felt the most lost just feel really low at the moment, hard finding joy in anything. almost feels like mourning, having not heard anything about her or how she is, feels so strange compared to how much of a major part she was in my life, feels like it was dream or something. i will get through this, i just don't see when or how just got to take it one day at a time.

[somedude81]

Hopefully you will start to feel better as time goes by.

 

You weren't with her for that long so you should have a fast recovery.

 

I wish I had some advice to give but I don't.

[Targetlock]

Hopefully you will start to feel better as time goes by.

 

You weren't with her for that long so you should have a fast recovery.

 

I wish I had some advice to give but I don't.

 

well thanks for the support anyway

[Targetlock]

Yeah well ive had a long think about this, i am going to try and contact her so i will finally know for certain that this is over i guess and get some closure, i would rather have that than sit there just wondering what if. im not expecting to get anywhere to be honest, no response will be its own answer in a way and i can close the chapter on this and move on. there is always hope i guess. tired of following rules about what i should do in relationships, i just want to do what i feel i should do.

Waiting for the weekend at the start of the month, and worked out what i want to say, nothing serious just start off with something casual.

[somedude81]

If you do contact her, which I don't recommend, please don't get upset if you don't get a response.

 

If you get a response it doesn't mean anything unless she specifically says she wants to see you.

[SoThatHappened]

I like people who don't always follow the rules. I respect you for making your own decisions.

 

Look at it this way: You may get hurt and set back by not getting the reply you desire. But, it will cement that it's over.

 

On the other hand, it may work out in your favor.

 

My advice is still to not contact her and let her come to you, but I'm also not going to hammer you for not taking that advice.

[martaldn]

Yeah well ive had a long think about this, i am going to try and contact her so i will finally know for certain that this is over i guess and get some closure, i would rather have that than sit there just wondering what if. im not expecting to get anywhere to be honest, no response will be its own answer in a way and i can close the chapter on this and move on. there is always hope i guess. tired of following rules about what i should do in relationships, i just want to do what i feel i should do.

Waiting for the weekend at the start of the month, and worked out what i want to say, nothing serious just start off with something casual.

 

you are in a certain stage of your healing process at moment.. do you know if you contact her now you are going to erase everything you have achieved ( maybe not much but still something ) so far and going back to square one?

 

you are going to regret it and you are going to suffer even more because you will feel like you have failed and been weak. maybe you also push her more far away from you.

 

if she wants to contact you she knows where to find you OP please listen to the people here.. we have all been there.

 

be strong

[Targetlock]

If you do contact her, which I don't recommend, please don't get upset if you don't get a response.

 

If you get a response it doesn't mean anything unless she specifically says she wants to see you.

 

i will treat a non response as my answer and yeah playing it casual and see what happens but not expecting much to be honest.

[Targetlock]

I like people who don't always follow the rules. I respect you for making your own decisions.

 

Look at it this way: You may get hurt and set back by not getting the reply you desire. But, it will cement that it's over.

 

On the other hand, it may work out in your favor.

 

My advice is still to not contact her and let her come to you, but I'm also not going to hammer you for not taking that advice.

 

just tired of wondering what ifs and just want a definite answer and it will give me closure if it goes nowhere, but i appreciate the advice and the concern.

[Targetlock]

well last night I did it, a nice simple message nothing too major just a friendly hello how are you kind of message. feel better for doing it, just going to wait and see what happens I guess, if I don't hear anything by the end of the weekend I consider it done, wipe my hands of it and let it be I guess.