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Dealing With The Pain


sammyy3

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So I was the dumper. My boyfriend of 18 months was an alcoholic. This was my first relationship after my divorce. I decided that he was not going to ever change and felt that he chose alcohol over me. I know he did. I am one month into the break up and two weeks of no contact. The problem I am having is the missing him. He was my best friend and we were close. Even though I was the dumper I think I feel the pain just as bad as someone who was dumped. I feel like some days the no contact is killing me but I m working through it. There are so many things you wonder like "is he thinking about me" and I grieve for the lost hope that he would change while I was with him. I wonder if he knows that I loved him and don't hate him. I know I deserve better and will someday see that better. Does any one else wish it was a year from now so that you will feel better? I went through a divorce and my husband had an affair and now lives with that women. I completely recovered from my divorce so I know that I will be happy again. I just seem to fight the time it takes to get there.

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So I was the dumper. My boyfriend of 18 months was an alcoholic. This was my first relationship after my divorce. I decided that he was not going to ever change and felt that he chose alcohol over me. I know he did. I am one month into the break up and two weeks of no contact. The problem I am having is the missing him. He was my best friend and we were close. Even though I was the dumper I think I feel the pain just as bad as someone who was dumped. I feel like some days the no contact is killing me but I m working through it. There are so many things you wonder like "is he thinking about me" and I grieve for the lost hope that he would change while I was with him. I wonder if he knows that I loved him and don't hate him. I know I deserve better and will someday see that better. Does any one else wish it was a year from now so that you will feel better? I went through a divorce and my husband had an affair and now lives with that women. I completely recovered from my divorce so I know that I will be happy again. I just seem to fight the time it takes to get there.

 

You hang in there. You made the right decision .

Any addict puts priority on one thing and that is addiction .

chances are those are his thoughts and cares.

It's good that you got out when you did.

Don't grieve , just be happy you don't have to be with an addict and deal with all which that entails . You focus on the good in your life and the good that will come in your future.

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Good job OP. You did well (1) recovering from the divorce, (2) realizing that your EX-BF wasn't about to change, (3) sticking to NC, and (4) venting here when you feel the need. You keep on keeping on.

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