The ANGER (raaawwwwrrrrrr!!!)

[blackcat777]

So, Sadness has left the building, and the result is that my head has cleared. I'm thinking (mostly) logically again... now the only times I really cry are when I don't have the additional emotional resources to deal with other life stuff (twice, other people had bad days and unleashed on me, I normally wouldn't care). Even then, it's brief and unrelated and just a little pop of AHH TEARS okay better. (I'm a fan of not bottling.)

 

I've felt a few pangs of anger in the wake of being sad, but today it hit me full force. ANGER. Anger as intense as the sadness (now I'm wondering, &$*% will I have to experience every emotion in crippling intensity?!).

 

Fortunately, the essence of my anger can be distilled into this:

 

I gave him my vulnerability, and he used it for toilet paper.

 

There is really no more precious thing a woman can give a man, ever. (*No more rare thing to find, either, let him figure that out...) I went out on a limb and GAVE it to him, wholly, completely, and I didn't get a shred of respect in return... in the end.

 

It makes me Deftones on the Ipod angry.

 

I feel so taken advantage of and like such an idiot.

 

Anyway, anyone. Anger? Thoughts?

 

The good news is, I can just keep getting fit.

[lyndaaxo]

Anger is good, its a stage in the process of getting over something and keeps you focussed on moving on. Just be careful it doesn't consume you.

[Arieswoman]

blackcat777,

So you're angry? Really, really angry?

 

Good.

 

Anger is energy that you can harness and make work for you.

 

It sounds like you are getting fit and I presume you go to the gym? That's good. (If you haven't joined a gym I suggest you do that)

When you find that your anger is almost overwhelming you pick up that gym kit and head down there.

 

Have you thought about re-modelling your living area? Re-decorate, throw out stuff that reminds you of him and buy new. Clear out thatcupboard/wardrobe/shed/garage and throw away anything that's not relevent to your life now.

 

Remember, you did nothing wrong. You are NOT an idiot. You trusted someone who didn't value you. That's his loss.

 

Use your anger to move forward, good luck.

 

PS The opposite of anger is depression. Depression is anger turned inwards and doesn't help anyone. Be glad you are angry at the moment and tap into it.

[CT98]

The anger is the easiest stage, I won't say 'best'.

 

You start realising that you deserve better, you have your own needs and if someone can't meet them well 'f**k you!'

 

When I have pangs of anger I put on some music and go for a long, brisk walk. Come the end I'm normally feeling calm and because I've got the endorphins going actually rather happy.

 

Like others have said, gym would also be a good release. A mate of mine bought a punch bag for the purpose.

[blackcat777]

Thanks everyone.

 

Physical release does seem safest and sanest. I was active before, but I walk a few miles every day now, and joined a (mwahahaha) pole fitness class.

 

I'm trying to just accept it and understand. I'm getting there. I'm also at the point where it's just frustrating now when an intense emotion pops up.

 

In some ways, I feel like applying logic to the situation tempts me to feel angry because so much about it is illogical. But that's part of acceptance, accepting that it was all illogical. O.o

[DirtyHairy]

Well let me give you this one piece of advice coming from someone who has been betrayed and left and got angry.

 

Don't stay angry for to long and don't let that anger shape who you are.

 

When my girlfriend of nearly 3 years left me out of the blue I was sad and stunned for a while and then I got angry. I was so bitter and it changed who I was. I was no longer happy and I always brought around this anger with me and took it out on family and friends (was snappy, didn't like to talk to people and just had a negative attitude).

Please don't take your anger out on anyone. Don't let it change who you are.

 

It is tough not to let it get to you sometimes but once you let that anger go (took me a long long time) you will be better. If you try to stay positive and don't let things bother you you will be able to get better quicker. Letting go of the anger was probably the best thing for my personal progress and well being.

 

Anger is okay to an extent but don't carry it around everywhere you go.

 

Hope that helps a bit tho

[cdt76]

Oh Anger. How powerful you are. You have the power to make us lose weight drastically, empower us to function with little to no sleep, maintain a workout regime that olympic athletes can't keep up with and oh how you like to linger. You stay for a time, usually much longer than we like. You fill our soul with fire and ice and something so evil we lose sight of who we really are. But time owns you. Time is your master. Time will weaken you. Your fires will burn less hot in our chests and the ice you put in our veins slowly warms and we start to feel somewhat human again.

 

Then your brother, bitterness, moves in. Bitterness is the relative that comes for the holidays and never leaves. He is the squatter that will not evacuate the premises even long after the building he was living in burns up. Bitterness you are move evil than anger. For you stew the embers hate left behind and it seems that nothing can put them out. You are not owned by time. Somehow, someway we must all find a way to get rid of you.

[blackcat777]

I'm definitely not the type of person to act on my anger, especially not by directing it at other people. Maybe I will become an Olympic athlete.

 

Thanks to my hippie days, I've spent a lot of time finding and practicing gratitude, so I sincerely HOPE bitterness doesn't drop in for a surprise visit. I saw someone do a 100 days of happiness challenge on Facebook. It would feel saccharine for me to do even if I were not going through a breakup, BUT it might just be the kind of mindfulness I need.

 

I am grounded in myself enough to know that anger isn't who I am, but that was why I felt the need to post about it here... I was shocked by how intensely I felt it happening inside me.

 

Then it also made me a little bit angrier when I think about how the power the situation had over me... Which is why I have begun this huge "reclaim my power" kick.