Most difficult time I've been through

[Swimmer916]

When my college GF of 3.5 years and I broke it off for good. I was relieved. She pushed me away then when she came around I began to push her away. During the time when things were going well I accepted a job offer in the city where I went to college (8 hours from home). She was my best friend in school and I still have a couple buddies in the area but most of my friends are scattered across the country.

 

Now that I'm far away from home, out of college, and I don't have her anymore. She was the best thing to happen to me. I felt so unbelievably lucky to have her in my life. I miss the hell out of her. We came from a mutual group of friends and it makes it tough to go see them because she is always with her new BF.

 

I have this regret that is tearing me apart. I know I fell out of love during our last few months. Things weren't the same. Now I feel like it was just a phase that if I worked through everything would be fine. I'm stuck in a rut. Constant depression, regret, a feeling that my life won't ever be as good. I tried going on a date but damn it didn't feel right. I felt like I was forcing myself to enjoy it. I know people say things can get better but its so hard. All her friends and her new bf are out there really enjoying life and I'm sitting here confused about my life path.

 

I may move back to my home state to work in the city. Everyday I drive the same small city where we have so many memories and its hard to move on. She was a great girl and I know I'm only remembering the good. There was a reason I fell out of love and we decided to break up. Who knows, even if we didn't break up in college we might of in the long run.

 

I just want to be my happy self again. My family and friends are concerned. I try to put on a happy exterior its just so difficult. Life with her was amazing in college and I keep associating those memories with her.

[preraph]

Well, that might be what's going on, that your good memories include her. But truth is you'd have fun no matter if you'd had her or not. There's no saying you can't take another run at her sometime. Maybe you're both more settled, or maybe you wait until you both graduate. Meanwhile, stay social and keep having fun.

[Swimmer916]

We both graduated in May. She's with her new BF. He's from a group of friends that I never got a long with because they would always give me a hard time because they liked my GF.

 

Anyways, I'm trying to focus on my new job. But its busy season now and I have to work late hours. Usually I could go to my GF's apartment and crash there after a long day and now I can't. But hey, life moves on and I'm a firm believer everything happens for a reason. I'm still young and have nothing to hold me back. I'm trying my best to stay positive. Its almost like a wave. You have the highs then the crash. I fear the high because I know the crash will come.