The temptation of online stalking :(

[RoseHeart]

It's embarrassing to admit but I am finding it really difficult to not look up my ex on the internet. Its become such a habit to look him up on Instagram, Facebook and his music page on last fm. I installed a website blocking application and it's been only 2 days that I have managed to keep myself from attempting to look but it's so friggen tough.

 

As I'm sitting here it's frustrating. I feel like the link I had is now broken. There were many times I got upset over things I saw but that "high" I got from it was just so darn good. At same time I know it's bad for me and keeps me from moving on which is what I've committed to stop doing it for real now. I'm hoping that it will become easier. At this point it's getting harder by the minute which I know sounds ridiculous but perhaps there will come a day when it will be easy.

 

 

I'm curious if others have to deal with this too and if anyone can give some words of advice ?

[preraph]

You're just harming yourself by doing this since you obviously don't want to be apart. You don't need this daily reminder. I don't tell everyone to do the extreme thing and clean out all the reminders because not everyone is still really wishing they could pursue their ex. I think it's okay to keep momentos from better days. But in your case, you need to stop wearing a neural rut in your brain every day to keep going over this relationship in your mind. It literally can make it hard to stop if you keep doing it. You need to pack up literally everything that reminds you of him and stay away from him or anyone who might talk to him online or in person. Give yourself an emotional "cleansing." At the same time you do this, make it a project to contact unconnected friends and also go do anything you can think of that you would like to go have fun doing or that relaxes you. Replace those spoiled memories with new memories by living life.

[lostsoul6486]

You are not alone so don't be embarrassed to admit that. I have a really hard time with this too, but it has gotten easier to stop wanting to check up on her for two reasons. 1) She has a new boyfriend so seeing pictures of her with him crushes me (if your ex doesn't have a new partner yet, it's going to suck when you find out via an Instagram or Facebook post) and 2) Time. The more time passes, the less urges you will get. I still get really strong urges to check her social media even though I know it does nothing but hurt me, but I always stop myself. I start watching television or I call a friend...whatever gets my mind off of her until the urge subsides. I know it's extremely hard, but you have to be strong. We'll both get better as the time continues to pass.

[Feelbettersoon]

You are not alone so don't be embarrassed to admit that. I have a really hard time with this too, but it has gotten easier to stop wanting to check up on her for two reasons. 1) She has a new boyfriend so seeing pictures of her with him crushes me (if your ex doesn't have a new partner yet, it's going to suck when you find out via an Instagram or Facebook post) and 2) Time. The more time passes, the less urges you will get. I still get really strong urges to check her social media even though I know it does nothing but hurt me, but I always stop myself. I start watching television or I call a friend...whatever gets my mind off of her until the urge subsides. I know it's extremely hard, but you have to be strong. We'll both get better as the time continues to pass.

 

Yeah listen to that ^

I caved and looked after 5 weeks today and turns out my ex does have a new significant other, more painful seeing that than the BU. Avoid online stalking at all costs it'll save you a lot of pain

[Christophe]

I too have been struggling with this. My ex broke up with me in June and by the end of August I removed her as a friend on Facebook because I could not take seeing new photos of her looking so happy and with her boyfriend.

 

I then blocked her on Facebook about a month ago after I still ended up seeing new photos of her. Since then I have unblocked and blocked her again a couple of times. At the moment she is unblocked and I don't check her page every day like I was doing before but I don't know it is strange. I know that I will see the next time she changes her profile picture, I think I am just waiting to see what my reaction will be this time. I think I am improving but I still miss her intensely at times and feel a heavy sadness without her.

[sammiexo]

I echo this post. No good comes from stalking/snooping. Never, ever. I'm hoping I have finally learned my lesson..

[AaronSG]

If this so called "stalking" or daily temptation to check his Facebook page is that much of an issue, you can always do as I did, and that was delete my Facebook account all together.

 

Because even though we removed each other off the "friends list" I could still see some images and info on her. It really hurt after two weeks after she left, her cover photo became that of one with her at a lake and she was fishing. We had plans to go back to Lake Tahoe at some point and she was going to expose me and teach me about the world of fishing together, but due to her departure, we never could fulfill that plan.

 

it hurt seeing her doing something that we had past plans to do together, so I just faced the fact that I no longer wanted to see anything more, so rather than "blocking" or "suspending" my account, I just got rid of the darn thing. Yeah, I went through "social media" withdraws for a while, but I'm still alive and kicking.

 

The delete thing is just a thought!

[Seraque]

How long since the break up? If it's early I understand how difficult it is.

 

I did it for awhile and it was driving me nuts. Then I promised myself to stop checking a couple things first. Finally, I stopped checking most of the accounts. You will get there, it'll happen.

 

Something inside will say - this is enough, or you will just stop caring as much. You will stop wanting to hurt yourself. Good luck.

Edited October 24, 2014 by Seraque