'Everyone else' reconciling

[Jingle14]

A bit of a 'poor me' post.

 

 

It seems to me that, everywhere I look - especially with these 'celebrities' - people are reconciling, even when they have been split for quite some time (years, in some cases).

 

 

I also read a lot on here about the dumper contacting the dumpee.

 

 

So why hasn't this happened for me?! Not once has he made any contact with me. On the (extremely rare and I don't now) occasions I've contacted him over the last 3 and a half years, I've mostly had a polite but short response.

 

 

I've bumped into him several times (It's a wonder it isn't more, we live in the same neighbourhood) including May 2013 when we ended up spending the night together (and which I posted about - he always said the truth comes out when drunk and a lot, from him, came out that night). I saw him in July, when I was in the local pub with a friend - I hadn't seen him and he called my name when I walked past, and in a panicky voice said 'I thought you were ignoring me' and he stoop up and gave me a kiss in the cheek (something he's never done when I've bumped into him before - last May, he didn't kiss me until we were at his house). He was with a friend I'd never met (his friend was over on a visit from the US, where he now lives) so I stopped for a brief chat, during which time 'he' got up and went to the toilet! My last text to him was shortly after that night, when I messaged it was nice to see him and also wished his daughter a happy birthday. I got a polite 'it was nice to see you too, she had a great day, take care'. I get it, he's not interested.

 

 

So why are other people a far more attractive proposition than me? Why, when we had such an intense, passionate and close relationship and the issues that caused our problems (circumstantial) are now gone, does he choose to remain so detached.

 

 

I don't know what's going on in his life, I've never, ever looked on his social media - I simply don't want to know, I couldn't bear to. He told me he was 'seeing someone' but it's odd I've never seen him with anyone (given he lives locally and he's often at his parents who live at the end of my street) but thank God I haven't!

 

 

I feel so unimportant and rejected.

[evanescentworld]

That's because you're focusing inwards and not outwards.

For every couple who reconcile, there are at least 50 who don't.

 

By all means wallow, but instead of comparing your life to that of others, you really need to focus on how to make your life more worthwhile.

 

It's all very well feeling sorry for yourself, but - what are you doing about yourself?

[Jingle14]

That's because you're focusing inwards and not outwards.

For every couple who reconcile, there are at least 50 who don't.

 

By all means wallow, but instead of comparing your life to that of others, you really need to focus on how to make your life more worthwhile.

 

It's all very well feeling sorry for yourself, but - what are you doing about yourself?

 

 

Plenty, actually - joined several groups to increase my social circle, I regularly go to the gym, travel (I'm taking my son to NYC this week), am busy at work, I've joined Buddhist meditation classes, I could be out ever night if I wanted to be.

 

 

I'm genuinely not sitting wallowing at all - yes, 3 and a half years ago, when I was dumped, I was, but certainly not now.

 

 

I just really find it galling that people who don't appear to have what I have to offer (a lot of these so-called celebs seem very demanding, I'm definitely not) have no trouble in having their dumpers running back to them when mine patently isn't interested in me at all.

[evanescentworld]

Read my signature.

Not everything that LOOKS gold, is.

 

Forget comparisons. Get this through your mind: There are many more people who have broken up and are not feeling as good as you, or living as well as you do.

 

Heck, there are some people IN RELATIONSHIPS who feel worse than you do.

 

You need to re-focus and look up at the universe, not down at the gutter.

Whatever you feel, makes who you are, and perpetuates the state you are in.

 

Change how you think, and perceive.

[Xemyd]

A bit of a 'poor me' post.

 

 

It seems to me that, everywhere I look - especially with these 'celebrities' - people are reconciling, even when they have been split for quite some time (years, in some cases).

 

 

I also read a lot on here about the dumper contacting the dumpee.

 

 

So why hasn't this happened for me?! Not once has he made any contact with me. On the (extremely rare and I don't now) occasions I've contacted him over the last 3 and a half years, I've mostly had a polite but short response.

 

 

I've bumped into him several times (It's a wonder it isn't more, we live in the same neighbourhood) including May 2013 when we ended up spending the night together (and which I posted about - he always said the truth comes out when drunk and a lot, from him, came out that night). I saw him in July, when I was in the local pub with a friend - I hadn't seen him and he called my name when I walked past, and in a panicky voice said 'I thought you were ignoring me' and he stoop up and gave me a kiss in the cheek (something he's never done when I've bumped into him before - last May, he didn't kiss me until we were at his house). He was with a friend I'd never met (his friend was over on a visit from the US, where he now lives) so I stopped for a brief chat, during which time 'he' got up and went to the toilet! My last text to him was shortly after that night, when I messaged it was nice to see him and also wished his daughter a happy birthday. I got a polite 'it was nice to see you too, she had a great day, take care'. I get it, he's not interested.

 

 

So why are other people a far more attractive proposition than me? Why, when we had such an intense, passionate and close relationship and the issues that caused our problems (circumstantial) are now gone, does he choose to remain so detached.

 

 

I don't know what's going on in his life, I've never, ever looked on his social media - I simply don't want to know, I couldn't bear to. He told me he was 'seeing someone' but it's odd I've never seen him with anyone (given he lives locally and he's often at his parents who live at the end of my street) but thank God I haven't!

 

 

I feel so unimportant and rejected.

 

 

I totally feel the same sometimes. It's especially annoying when I know someone getting back together when I know they were in a **** relationship.