The Things People Do, And Are Okay With Doing Them!

[AaronSG]

First off, please forgive me, for today I'm pretty upset about some things that were talked about today between my Mother and myself.

 

Today started off alright, woke up, couple hours later my Mother invites me to a backyard breakfast at her place. I say "sure" and a while later I make the scooter ride to her place. Once there everything is going good, we fixed a decent little meal, made coffee, and sat down on my Mom's backyard patio set and started eating.

 

No more than about 5 minutes in, I start to get uneasy, start to get uncomfortable in my chair, then it dawns on me, I'm sitting in someones old chair. Someone that each and every time we came over for a backyard BBQ that she would always sit, and almost claimed it as her own. So I sit there, not very easy, but I sit there and look around from the perspective of that chair. I take in all that can been seen from that chair, all that can be heard from that chair, then my thoughts drift back to July-24th the night of the bomb drop!

 

So I sit there, wondering how a person sitting in this chair, having nothing but good stuff to see and hear from this perspective could have been so quick and willing to give it all up and sitting in this very chair, how can one get themselves so mentally prepared to drop a bomb of destruction on a relationship and be okay with it. Mom could tell I was having a moment. and we began to talk about what I was feeling.

 

Mom at first thought I was getting a little mentally deep with this, but after some time she started to see things that I was talking about. Like, how could someone who was invited out of love and care to my Mom's place that night, how can that person arrive for such a fun event, knowing in the back of their mind what they planned on doing later on that night. How can someone arrive to such an event and with all intents and purposes, without any apparent cares in the world, a smile, a laugh, holding the love of their life's hand, mixing and mingling with my Mom's house guests, how can someone like that be so cruel, nasty, plotting, calculating, deceptive, manipulative, ect. ect. ect., again, never showing any signs of what was to come!

 

I told my Mom that for me the hardest part about being at her home is the memories of that night, how my ex-fiance could come into her home, our family's one universal safe place on the planet and drop a relationship nuke on us all. I told my Mom, "she sat in this very chair and knew what she was going to do"! and "she arrived at the event, already to have made arrangements with her parents to call it quits and return home to Ohio"! I told Mom, she sat right her and knew that she was going to massively disrupt lives and alter my very own reality and bring us all hardships, she knew all of this while keeping her composure, keeping calm, cool and collected, never giving off one sign of coming troubles, just acted as if it was just another wonderful day in paradise.

 

I told my Mom, she arrived as if being a wolf in sheep's clothing, no signs of trouble, no sings of problems, no signs of nothing other than making the visit look as if it was business as usual. I couldn't sit in that fricking chair any longer, I got up, got my cup of coffee and fired up a smoke and paced around a little bit. My Mom said that she and the rest of the family, they didn't know that the ending of my relationship had this much of an affect on me. She said everyone thought that you'd just treat it like your divorce of 6 years ago and feel bad for a while and move on quickly.

 

I told Mom that I would have loved for the breakup of me and my ex-fiance to have gone like my divorce of 6 years ago, I would have loved it to go that way. I told Mom that my divorce from my ex-wife was an easier process to go through, than what I currently endured. Divorces to me are a gradual and timed out "step down" from marriage. You know on this date you got court, a couple weeks later on this date you meet with your attorney, weeks later on this date you have paperwork to file with the county clerks office, a month later it's back to family court, couple weeks later it's meeting with a county appointed moderator to discuss child support, it all mentally geared me and readied me for the end.

 

But to have the carpet pulled out from under me like I did back on July-24th, there was no way for me, like I did during my divorce, to mentally prepare myself for what was to come! Mom asked me how can a person like my ex-faince be the way she was that night, how can a person willing and knowing enter her home, knowing darn well that they arrived, not to enjoy themselves, but rather to be a walking destroyer of relationships. Mom jumped on the band wagon and was totally seeing things from my perspective. She had no clue that simple things like a person sitting in a various chair and their perspective could rock me so much!

 

I said Mom, she arrived giving off all the appearance that she was just here for a good time, she hung out in your home for a while giving off all the signs that she was here to have a good time, she swam in your pool Mom, kicking, splashing, playing games, laughing, telling me that she loved me a couple times, she swam with giving the appearance that she was just here to have a good time, she sat in this chair, enjoyed your food, enjoyed me cooking it all on the grill for everyone, all the while giving off all the signs that she was here to have a good time, when your house guests were leaving and she was saying her goodbye's to them, she told some that she'll see them next time that as she was calling you at the time "Mom" had her next pool party, still giving off the sings that she was there to have a good time, the guest are gone, it's just us, you, me and her and then, out of the blue, out of the darkness, she unloads!

 

I told Mom that I'm fricking pissed off, I'm upset, I'm raged on how a person like that could come into our lives and make us all think they are one way, but in the end they prove to be another. How can a family knowing and willing use their Daughter as bait, hook a guy like me, then monthly try to capitalize on the opportunity that their Daughter hooked a person with a family that has tons of money, and how can ones parents try to get in on me and my family's money and actions? How can a young woman come into our lives and for all intents and purposes give off that she's down home southern country and knows how to treat her man! How can someone like her come into our lives claiming to be a child of God and taking God's words of being engaged and later married seriously, how can someone come to us full of apparent innocence and wonder and leave us proving to be down right evil! How can someone come into our lives saying that "she's in it for life with me" and when something like the fact that I won't let anymore money be mailed to her parents, how can someone go from "in it for life" to "I want out"?

 

We gave her the best time of her life Mom, we gave her opportunities she's never have back in Ohio. We gave her a good slice of the California dream, money, trips, the opportunity to have tons of "1st" in her life, a stable man to call her own who loved her with all his heart, a ready made home, a ready made family, my pool of friends to call her own, she had freedoms she never had back in Ohio living with her parents. She had the freedom to go where she wanted, buy what she wanted, come and go from the home when she wanted, shop where she wanted to shop ect. ect. ect. Mom in compared to her previous life, Mom, she had it all!

 

It all was staged Mom, everything to my trip to see her for the first time in Columbus Ohio, to the moment she ended it, it all was a fricking production and we all were the unknowing cast members, playing out our various roles, but making sure every part we all played out benefited her and her family in various ways!

 

I'm just pissed off, because in the end it basically was proven that for the majority it pretty much just all boiled down to money, her opportunity to have all those "1st" and when guilt trips alone didn't work to get their Daughter back home, it came down to I touched the family cross and was told by God you need to breakup with Aaron and come home! Money, money, money! When the parents realized that after 14 months of their Daughter being away that they could no longer make it without her income, they tripped her into calling it quits and brainwashingly come home!

 

I'm livid, I'm pissed, how stupid can a person be?............What a fricking waste!

 

I guess this is evidence enough to see what happens to a person who's yanked out of school in the 2nd grade and never allowed to return, it makes them easy to be a sucker, a pawn, bait and easy to brainwash and control, I guess it's real easy to be controlled when you have narcissists for parents! How can people like all of them be okay with what they've done? Don't they worry about guilty consciousnesses? Don't they worry about being judged by others? Don't they worry about the fact that they didn't do the right thing? Don't they worry about not being able to sleep at night, knowing what they did? I guess it's true, the things some people do, and their ability to be "okay" with it!

 

I'm not so much feeling grief anymore, now it's just straight up pissed off!

 

I'm going out side for a smoke, I'm pissed!

Edited October 18, 2014 by AaronSG