success Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 My ex and I have been together for a year. We broke things off on Friday and I'm not quite sure exactly what the status is... He said before we hung up that I should go 'get help' (insulting to say the least) and that he will be waiting and loves me. We've had NC since. I just deactivated by FB account and have been fighting every urge to text him. Part of my issue is this - are we actually broken up?? He told me he wouldnt be looking for love anywhere else, and in a moment of weakness, I said the same. But those are just words...I'm not sure if I should maintain hope that we are in fact still connected, or just follow the NC rule and disappear. We still have each others house keys, so I suspect he'll get in touch eventually to exchange those...I don't plan on initiating contact. Would really appreciate some perspective - this hurts like hell and I want to heal. Of course I want him back but not at the expense of my life and peace of mind. Link to post Share on other sites
StrangerThanFiction Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 My ex and I have been together for a year. We broke things off on Friday and I'm not quite sure exactly what the status is... He said before we hung up that I should go 'get help' (insulting to say the least) and that he will be waiting and loves me. We've had NC since. I just deactivated by FB account and have been fighting every urge to text him. Part of my issue is this - are we actually broken up?? He told me he wouldnt be looking for love anywhere else, and in a moment of weakness, I said the same. But those are just words...I'm not sure if I should maintain hope that we are in fact still connected, or just follow the NC rule and disappear. We still have each others house keys, so I suspect he'll get in touch eventually to exchange those...I don't plan on initiating contact. Would really appreciate some perspective - this hurts like hell and I want to heal. Of course I want him back but not at the expense of my life and peace of mind. My ex used to tell me to "get help" as well. Why? Because I accused him of cheating. Apparently this makes someone certifiably crazy. Even after he betrayed my trust more than once. What was his reason for you having to "get help"? I hate to say it but when they say they won't be looking, it means that they actually are, or have found it already. It's a way for them to keep you on hold. Maintain NC. You are obviously way too good for that! The fact that you are making moves to get him out of your life completely is a huge step in the right direction. Kudos for being smart and so strong! What pisses me off is the fact that he expects you to "get help". So...he expects you to change in order to suit him better? Please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author success Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Strangerthanfiction - I'll be the first to admit I have some insecurity issues - but nothing out of hand, and I've communicated how and why it manifests. In fact, I signed up for CBT prior to us breaking up, to get to the bottom of it. That being said, he's a self-confessed pot addict and just the week prior, quit cold turkey and joined out-patient counseling. He said the pressure of the relationship was too much for him...since he was trying to quit pot and was already under a lot of stress. To be honest, I don't believe he's found someone else already. And he doesn't seem to be in any state to find a new woman at this point, but maybe I'm being naive. I do believe he genuinely loves me and is smart to know a rebound won't serve him well - he's been known to take time for introspection and self learning. I'd like to believe that he is intending this time to work on himself, and allow me to work on myself...but that's why I'm on this forum - to get some perspective, albeit from people who don't know either one of us. For now, I'm maintaining NC. I'm surprised and hurt that he hasn't reached out to me in 3 days...this has never happened but I guess this time it's a break and his friends are likely advising him not to contact me either. But I am surprised that it is so easy for him to walk away... I don't know - is there any positive outcome here? I know NC is key and its day 3 and I'm sticking to it... Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 There was no break up, just harder time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author success Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 Reels - I'm not sure what you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts