tory1012 Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 I'm not talking to him now and its getting harder as the days go by! I keep checking his Facebook and I know that he has added new girls and I'm sick with worry that he is with one of them and I am being replaced. I've decided to block him from facebook becuase I cannot stand the pain of knowing anything about his new life without me. I can't wait for this pain to be over - i've been through it before and I have survived. I just want to move on but its so hard to "let go". I really need to gain some perspective back. Link to post Share on other sites
StrangerThanFiction Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Something that helped me gain perspective was understanding that yes, at some point, I WILL be replaced, if I haven't been already. It hurts like a b*tch accepting that but once you do it helps you to start letting go. At least it did for me. If they've moved on then why should I spend my time focusing on them and my pain? Definitely a step in the right direction blocking him off Facebook. Having these other girls shoved in your face is like grinding salt into an open wound. And who knows, he could just be doing it because he knew you were checking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tory1012 Posted September 24, 2014 Author Share Posted September 24, 2014 Yeah I had him blocked for like a week and then we were talking on facebook and he was like oh how are you talking to me I thought you blocked me! Well it's hard because I don't want to unblock him! Once I do it I want to have be permanent! I mean I know he's hurting too but I guess he is just stronger than me and had already made up his mind when he dumped me. I think I must to do it so I don't see anything! I'm trying my hardest not to text him. Sometimes I pick up my phone and start writing a text and then i'll put my phone down and be like whats the point?? Its been a rough couple of days. He even told me he moved rooms for a "refresher". All talking to him is doing is perpetuating my pain. I must not do that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tory1012 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 When does this go away? I keep checking my phone constantly to see if he's contacted me. I'm giving him space and trying not contact however what are somethings to stop doing this or like just not expect any communication? Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Well, as long as you still have emotional attachment, what ever form of communication you preferred will be your security blanket. To put some perspective in to how you are using material things as a form of connection, over just the person you are attached to. Seeing anything that allows txt messages will spark a longing to connect. It is Pavlov's Dog theory. You have conditioned yourself to be attached to a device or method to feel connected. you can force yourself to stop looking for txts. It is hard but after time you will not feel so needy. I mentioned in a thread a few days back, how the Chinese have taken Internet addiction seriously. Peeps who are so addicted that they loose connection with reality when disconnected. They are so emotionally connected through devices, not through human contact. In your case, the device is an extension to what you miss, but is not really part of that person. Your brain wants to make it so, as it is physical and available. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Whenever I'd go through a breakup, my phone would get turned off an thrown under the bed. I did not need it enough to warrant getting it back out and end up feeling badly when he never contacted me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tory1012 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 Yeah I'm struggling a bit! So I am contemplating going out tonight with some friends - to go to some bars etc... however I'm just not sure whether it would make me feel better or worse. Nearly a month post BU and I just want to have fun and feel good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tory1012 Posted September 28, 2014 Author Share Posted September 28, 2014 So I think I'm progressing well with my coping. I had a really fun weekend and I went out and met somebody. Although I have told this person that I have no interest in them. Just not anywhere near ready to be emotionally invested with anyone. I still feel flattered and it has given me a confidence boost. I think that some ex's really do make it easier to move on. So i have been talking with my ex and he is certainly going hot and cold. He tells me things that get my hopes up however he did something last night that I just can't be bothered dealing with him anymore. i changed my profile pic on facebook to something more recent and it is a really good photo. He replies to one of my message and said you look nothing like that. That was such a nasty thing to say as if alluding to the fact that no you don't actually look that good. Well I talked with a couple of friends and they told me he's only saying that because i look good and he wants to be hurtful as it seems like im moving on. He's such a different person from the loving man that I was with. Why do dumpers become like this? I mean I didn't end things he did so why is the hurtful comments? I dunno I just felt like its made it a tad easier for me to move forward. I'm one month post BU now. Link to post Share on other sites
Brooke02 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 If your on mobile, some allow you to block contacts so you don't get calls or texts. I've blocked my ex, this helps a lot with checking because you already know you won't get the text. Plus, for me it helps to not know if he text me or not. If he didn't it would hurt. If he did and I got the text it would hurt. Ignorance is bliss in NC. Link to post Share on other sites
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