I'm having a rough day...just need some support (Updated)

[StrangerThanFiction]

I've been feeling pretty good for the last few days. The weekend was fine because I hung out with a friend instead of spending it alone. But today...today is really bad. I have to keep chucking my phone away from me to keep from texting my ex. I really miss the jerk today and it feels like all the healing I thought I had managed over the last 9 days never even happened. I miss him so much even though he was a total a**. I could just really use some advice on how to get through this and some support to keep sticking with NC because right now I'm struggling.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Well, at least your on your way to getting back to your normal self, by being strong enough to be here.

 

I know just having convo helps keep your sanity, so if anything peeps here will keep you thinking good stuff, instead of feeling down and giving in to txting.

 

Gosh, what did you do before your relationship?

Have non-shared friends?

 

As simple as it seems, taking walks helps a lot.

 

Even pampering yourself with a girls day or night out.

As in getting a massage time to time. In some locations there are schools that have discounted rates over the professional offerings.

 

Just keep your mind active... remember an idle mind can be your worst enemy if depressed.

[Day.One]

Can't really say much to help (as my head is Swiss Cheese after she moved out), but i promise that you are not alone in what you're going through.

[StrangerThanFiction]

Thank you so much, guys. Today has been terrible so far and I'm trying to keep myself from having a panic attack. I just want him to call or text me just so I know that he at least still thinks about me at all. Haven't heard from him since the day after the BU last week and it's killing me. All I can think about is him living it up and being with other women and happy while I'm here heartbroken and alone. I feel like I'm worthless and just someone that is easily tossed aside and forgotten

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Gosh, I keep telling this to peeps, yet I will never cease... Try to let go as best you can. Let it out, cry if you have to, or write I hate you letters... what ever.

 

I know you are feeling sick and it is tearing you apart. Just get a good cry in and allow for your healing to start. It sounds so hard on you, yet once your done, you'll feel better. Though it may take a few attempts.

 

Once you have let go... I mean really let go, the easier it is to return. If you keep putting him in your mind when lonely or missing things you once did, all it is going to do is linger.

 

Find something that makes you feel good, and stick with it. Whether it is a crafts hobby, as simple as beading or sewing. Make something happen to fill your void. Allow others to see you the way you should be, happy about yourself and allowing things to bring joy.

[Justm3x]

I really feel your pain.. the only support i can give you is stay strong and that people know what your going through. Some people can be so cruel, cause damage to others and they dont even know we are suffering .... do they care probably not x

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I was going to add... but on this thread you cannot quick edit... so here is what I wanted to add.

 

You mentioned the feeling of tossed aside and forgotten.

Tossed aside yes, but never forgotten. Nobody ever forgets their past. Misplace it at times, but never forgotten.

 

If any consolation, remember the good things as they are meant to be, even though he is out of your life, the things that were special are real. They are apart of you and will always be. Just because you're on your own, you cannot ever have them. They are all there waiting to be discovered in different forms, with who ever you share them with.

[JDPT]

Know that the pain will eventually subside, only if you keep at it, only if you continue to try your best day in and out you will come out of this dark hole you are in. You will come out of it and will see a brighter day, things will be clearer and you'll be able to make better decisions and realize that you have to go through the pain in order to appreciate. Ride this bad wave, commit to NC and diligently work towards healing your wounds. You will come out of this a new and improved you.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I really feel your pain.. the only support i can give you is stay strong and that people know what your going through. Some people can be so cruel, cause damage to others and they dont even know we are suffering .... do they care probably not x

 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness. I don't have anyone outside of this forum because after he left me 2 years ago for someone else I kept him a secret from my friends and family. So no one knew we were dating again. That should have been a huge red flag for me, huh. I'm a firm believer in what goes around, comes around and I know both of our ex sleazes will eventually get their just desserts.

 

Gosh, I keep telling this to peeps, yet I will never cease... Try to let go as best you can. Let it out, cry if you have to, or write I hate you letters... what ever.

 

I know you are feeling sick and it is tearing you apart. Just get a good cry in and allow for your healing to start. It sounds so hard on you, yet once your done, you'll feel better. Though it may take a few attempts.

 

Once you have let go... I mean really let go, the easier it is to return. If you keep putting him in your mind when lonely or missing things you once did, all it is going to do is linger.

 

Find something that makes you feel good, and stick with it. Whether it is a crafts hobby, as simple as beading or sewing. Make something happen to fill your void. Allow others to see you the way you should be, happy about yourself and allowing things to bring joy.

 

The last few days I really felt that I had accepted the fact that we're over and that I was succeeding in letting him go. How I feel today seems to show that I have not.

 

I'm really working hard at not lingering on him and am determined to let him go and move on. Just wish there was a switch I could pull that would erase him from my mind. I will definitely be taking your advice on getting into some new things. I've stagnated long enough.

 

I was going to add... but on this thread you cannot quick edit... so here is what I wanted to add.

 

You mentioned the feeling of tossed aside and forgotten.

Tossed aside yes, but never forgotten. Nobody ever forgets their past. Misplace it at times, but never forgotten.

 

If any consolation, remember the good things as they are meant to be, even though he is out of your life, the things that were special are real. They are apart of you and will always be. Just because you're on your own, you cannot ever have them. They are all there waiting to be discovered in different forms, with who ever you share them with.

 

This brought me a lot of comfort, thank you. I believe you're right. I'm just at that stage where I can't imagine myself with anyone ever again though. I know it will pass when I'm ready but still...

 

Know that the pain will eventually subside, only if you keep at it, only if you continue to try your best day in and out you will come out of this dark hole you are in. You will come out of it and will see a brighter day, things will be clearer and you'll be able to make better decisions and realize that you have to go through the pain in order to appreciate. Ride this bad wave, commit to NC and diligently work towards healing your wounds. You will come out of this a new and improved you.

 

I wish I could find a ladder so I could climb out of this pit and fill it with concrete. But I know there's no quick fixes or magic cures for a broken heart so I'm just going to have to put the work into get through this. The alternative is to dwell and obsess and remain a miserable sad sack of pain and I find that to be utterly unacceptable. Wish my brain would make my heart smarten the hell up though lol.

[Justm3x]

We must think alike... i read your post to your ex about losing the weight and showing him what he's lost. im in the same situation.. I gained alot of weight due to my meds and in one of his nasty texts to me he called me FATTY, that really hurt me... so i decided to take action and so far ive lost 40 lbs and im going to turn myself into a goddess......I was a redhead before he left and im now a blonde.... he loves blondes

Edited September 22, 2014 by Justm3x

[strong-hearted]

I know exactly how you feel trust me, but I'm gonna tell you what a lot of people have been telling me ever since my x left me: you WILL get through this and you WILL get over it, I'm assuming you're really young so trust and believe that it is really painful at the beginning but as time goes by you will notice that each and every day it hurts less, I know because I'm also going through something similar so stay strong hang in there and you will see how your life is gonna change for the better

[StrangerThanFiction]

I know exactly how you feel trust me, but I'm gonna tell you what a lot of people have been telling me ever since my x left me: you WILL get through this and you WILL get over it, I'm assuming you're really young so trust and believe that it is really painful at the beginning but as time goes by you will notice that each and every day it hurts less, I know because I'm also going through something similar so stay strong hang in there and you will see how your life is gonna change for the better

 

I feel a lot older than I am right now. 90 instead of 28 lol. But yeah, I guess being 28 isn't all that old. Try telling that to some of my family members who love to tell me that I'm not getting any younger and why I'm not married with a kid or two yet. I wonder what they think I was trying to so by being with the same man for 6 years...

 

Thank you for the encouragement, it really helps to have someone tell you that things are going to turn out alright and that this will pass. I'm just having one of the bad day relapses right now, I suppose. Again, thank you!

 

We must think alike... i read your post to your ex about losing the weight and showing him what he's lost. im in the same situation.. I gained alot of weight due to my meds and in one of his nasty texts to me he called me FATTY, that really hurt me... so i decided to take action and so far ive lost 40 lbs and im going to turn myself into a goddess......I was a redhead before he left and im now a blonde.... he loves blondes

 

I'm right there with you! I must've gained 30-40lbs over the 6 years I was with the ex and I would dearly love to lose it all and get back to the fit body I used to have in my early 20's. Not just to show him what he never gets to touch again, but for the fact that I want to feel healthy and feel good about myself again. Showing him what he lost would be an added bonus Good for you for the weight loss!! That is a huge amount of weight to drop! You must feel so good! I've lost about 5lbs so far, but I'm pretty sure that's just due to me not being able to eat much since the BU. My ex also pulled the fatty card too. Wow does that hurt. Especially coming from a guy with a beer belly and a butt that looks like he shoved beach balls down the back of his pants. Ah, that was mean and petty wasn't it lol.

[strong-hearted]

you're very welcome I'm glad it helped, yes you're going through a rollercoasters of emotions, I go through that too so I'm taking baby steps

[StrangerThanFiction]

For the last few hours I have been struggling not to text my ex. I was in the grocery store parking lot and I just broke down because when we were together I'd always call him and talk to him while I shopped. It brought so much crashing back.

 

What I miss the most is just talking to him and hearing about his day and I'm in a really low place right now. I know, I KNOW, that texting him will result in nothing good and a renewed world of pain but I can feel my resolve weakening by the minute. I'm trying to rationalize it to myself and it seems like the hurt part of me is starting to gain dominance.

 

So, please someone talk me out of it because I don't know if I have the strength to do it on my own right now. Pathetic, I know. If I can just make it through today I think I'll be better tomorrow.

[AaronSG]

Hang tight, stay strong, your not pathetic, you will get through this! Just remember nothing good can come from breaking no contact!

 

It's interesting that your issue is with a grocery store! I thought I was the only one, but unlike you who miss the conversations over the phone, I miss actually walking hand in hand inside the local grocery store. When I'm there I can get flooded with memories, which makes me sometimes think that maybe reaching out to my ex-fiance would be okay. Then before my hand goes down for the phone I remember, no contact is meant for me to get better, not to call me ex whenever I'm freaking out!

 

Just hang tight, your doing great, you'll make it into tomorrow and hopefully you'll be feeling better!

 

((Hugs))

[strong-hearted]

Hang in there, I'm going through the same thing, but with me it's everywhere I go and everything reminds me of him even turning the tv on, but all we can do is just stay strong I haven't contacted him in every way in almost 2 months and it just feels like forever but i still have hope that he comes back, just be patient I know how bad it hurts and it feels like this pain will never go away IT WILL just hang in there and have faith and patience!!

[Arient]

Try your best, girl!!! Just imagine what will happen if you contact him. The pain will surely lessen, for a short while, then what? It will slap your face again with the reality that doing that will mean nothing and bring nothing, but more pain. Try try try, we all have been there! It's the small details that can make the memories surge back. Try to avoid going to old places for this period, if possible. Distract yourself, maybe reach out to a friend, talk to someone, so that you can keep your mind from him. You can do it!!!!

[martaldn]

I have been there SO many times i have lost the count so I know exactly How you feel but it will pass.. just hang in there.

stay strong and think you DONT want to go back to square one!

U can make it!!!

:)

[Day.One]

I was a redhead before he left and im now a blonde.... he loves blondes

 

HEY! Nothing wrong with redheads!! (i am too)

 

Said in a totally PC, non stalkery kind of way.

[me85]

Aww Fiction, I'm sorry. I'm sending you virtual hugs right now. (=

 

I feel the same way. A few days ago I made the decision to delete his contacts from my phone so I wouldn't be able to get in touch with him anymore. I don't have his contacts written down or memorized...well, I think I still remember his phone number but would never attempt to call. Besides, he has me blocked, I think. We've been communicating via email since June. Anyways, I had to protect myself from myself because I would occasionally drunk email him. /= Nothing sentimental or anything just BS but still...he's the enemy! I can't be doing that! lol

 

Even though I'm over him, he was once my best friend so I do miss talking to him.

 

And even though I'm happy, NC is hard for me. He always reaches out but maybe he won't anymore. Since I told him I was changing my email. But just like you, I wish he'd email me so I know he hasn't forgotten me. /= That's been the only thing lately...not wanting to be forgotten by him. I mean, certainly I'm aware that no one can forget about someone in only a matter of days but my ego wants to know he thinks of me all the time, everyday for the rest of his life! LOL

 

I'm 29 btw. (=

 

So you and your ex were together 6 years?

Edited September 26, 2014 by me85

[StrangerThanFiction]

Aww Fiction, I'm sorry. I'm sending you virtual hugs right now. (=

 

I feel the same way. A few days ago I made the decision to delete his contacts from my phone so I wouldn't be able to get in touch with him anymore. I don't have his contacts written down or memorized...well, I think I still remember his phone number but would never attempt to call. Besides, he has me blocked, I think. We've been communicating via email since June. Anyways, I had to protect myself from myself because I would occasionally drunk email him. /= Nothing sentimental or anything just BS but still...he's the enemy! I can't be doing that! lol

 

Even though I'm over him, he was once my best friend so I do miss talking to him.

 

And even though I'm happy, NC is hard for me. He always reaches out but maybe he won't anymore. Since I told him I was changing my email. But just like you, I wish he'd email me so I know he hasn't forgotten me. /= That's been the only thing lately...not wanting to be forgotten by him. I mean, certainly I'm aware that no one can forget about someone in only a matter of days but my ego wants to know he thinks of me all the time, everyday for the rest of his life! LOL

 

I'm 29 btw. (=

 

So you and your ex were together 6 years?

 

I'm right there with you. Unfortunately I have his phone number and email memorized so I can't just delete them He also still has to pick up the rest of his stuff so at some point I'll have to talk to him again.

 

I'm totally afraid of being forgotten, too. I made the mistake of stalking this woman's FB who he left me for two years ago (we got back together a few months after and he said nothing happened between them. Please.) and it said she was out for dinner with her "best friend" in the city where he lives. Normally this wouldn't be red flag, but she lives hours and hours away so...I know I need to stop FB stalking her but I think I just want the actual confirmation that he's moved on (again) so I can banish that last little bit of delusional hope for good.

 

So far I've managed to keep myself from contacting him. Mostly thanks to you guys here at LS and your support. Most of the time I'm good and am fine with NC but sometimes I just want to hear from him so I can feel that I wasn't just some nothing to him. Hah, there's that ego talking, right?

 

Yeah we were together for 6 years. Spent pretty much every day together for the first 3-4. Then it turned into a LDR for the last bit.

[singsparkles]

I've been feeling pretty good for the last few days. The weekend was fine because I hung out with a friend instead of spending it alone. But today...today is really bad. I have to keep chucking my phone away from me to keep from texting my ex. I really miss the jerk today and it feels like all the healing I thought I had managed over the last 9 days never even happened. I miss him so much even though he was a total a**. I could just really use some advice on how to get through this and some support to keep sticking with NC because right now I'm struggling.

 

 

 

StrangerThanFiction,

 

You are not alone. I go through this on a daily basis. You want to text them and every time you hear the phone ring, you wish it was them. Right now you're thinking of all the good times you had together and forgetting all the bad. In times like these, you need to remember all the bad and hold onto all the bad. There is a reason why you're broken up and there's a reason why deep inside your heart you know that NC is important.

 

He isn't worthy of you and you obviously know this. He's an a**hole and you deserve someone who appreciates your heart and your love.

 

When you feel like contacting him, just come on here or talk or talk to a loved one; family member or friend... or get into new hobbies, or find little things that make you happy; Work out, go for a hike, go for a nice drive to look at nice scenery, drink a nice cup of tea or coffee. Its truly the little things that help you get by.

 

You're probably only missing him because you feel lonely. I notice I'm okay during the day, but at night it's the worst and I think about him the most & feel so impulsive like I want to text him , but I don't. You need to realize he doesn't deserve the attention you're giving him.

 

Leave him in the past and focus on you, because you're wonderful and you should love yourself and be focused on you!!! Forget this douche bag. There is a reason you guys are not in contact and you should keep it that way. One day he will most likely regret it and come crawling back, but by that time you will be over him and onto bigger and better things.

 

Trust me on this... stick to NC. Contacting is NEVER pretty and you ALWAYS end up with worse feelings than you had before. Keep your dignity and your pride and show that you know your worth. He will be wondering why you aren't calling soon enough, but you'll be too busy foused on yourself.

 

Just live life and happiness and beautiful love will find you again, but next time the love can be permanent! Look to the future . The future is bright and EVERYTHING ALWAYS GETS BETTER, whether you see it now or not.

 

Remember, you're beautiful and worthy and too good for him. Stick to no contact!!!!

 

Hugs!!

[StrangerThanFiction]

StrangerThanFiction,

 

You are not alone. I go through this on a daily basis. You want to text them and every time you hear the phone ring, you wish it was them. Right now you're thinking of all the good times you had together and forgetting all the bad. In times like these, you need to remember all the bad and hold onto all the bad. There is a reason why you're broken up and there's a reason why deep inside your heart you know that NC is important.

 

He isn't worthy of you and you obviously know this. He's an a**hole and you deserve someone who appreciates your heart and your love.

 

When you feel like contacting him, just come on here or talk or talk to a loved one; family member or friend... or get into new hobbies, or find little things that make you happy; Work out, go for a hike, go for a nice drive to look at nice scenery, drink a nice cup of tea or coffee. Its truly the little things that help you get by.

 

You're probably only missing him because you feel lonely. I notice I'm okay during the day, but at night it's the worst and I think about him the most & feel so impulsive like I want to text him , but I don't. You need to realize he doesn't deserve the attention you're giving him.

 

Leave him in the past and focus on you, because you're wonderful and you should love yourself and be focused on you!!! Forget this douche bag. There is a reason you guys are not in contact and you should keep it that way. One day he will most likely regret it and come crawling back, but by that time you will be over him and onto bigger and better things.

 

Trust me on this... stick to NC. Contacting is NEVER pretty and you ALWAYS end up with worse feelings than you had before. Keep your dignity and your pride and show that you know your worth. He will be wondering why you aren't calling soon enough, but you'll be too busy foused on yourself.

 

Just live life and happiness and beautiful love will find you again, but next time the love can be permanent! Look to the future . The future is bright and EVERYTHING ALWAYS GETS BETTER, whether you see it now or not.

 

Remember, you're beautiful and worthy and too good for him. Stick to no contact!!!!

 

Hugs!!

 

You pretty much pegged everything I was feeling right on the head! These last 2 weeks (ugh...has it only been 2 weeks?!) since the BU have been absolute crap. The ups, the downs, the sideways. Seriously, when does this end? It terrifies me to think that I'll still feel this way in a couple of months. You're right he's a douchebag and doesn't deserve my time or energy. But damn! Sometimes it's hard to think of anything but him.

 

I find the mornings and during the day is the hardest for me deal with. It's when I'm at home in the evenings by myself that I start feeling okay. I've always been a bit of a lone wolf so being by myself is actually somewhat preferable when dealing with this emotional baggage. Especially at night. Guess I'm a night owl too lol. But the mornings...gah, I could do without those lol.

 

So far I've managed to stick with NC. There were a few close calls but you guys on this forum and a friend of mine kept me from making the huge mistake of contacting him. Damn crazy roller coaster. Hope I can keep it up.

[Bella2]

These last 2 weeks (ugh...has it only been 2 weeks?!) since the BU have been absolute crap. The ups, the downs, the sideways. Seriously, when does this end? It terrifies me to think that I'll still feel this way in a couple of months.

Right there with you. Going up and down (and sideways), I can change every 5 minutes it seems. As everyone says: it will get better... We should believe them, I guess!!!

 

I find the mornings and during the day is the hardest for me deal with. It's when I'm at home in the evenings by myself that I start feeling okay.

Same for me. Mornings and days: no fun at all. Can't wait to go home and just deal with myself all by myself

 

What do you feel like exactly, fysically? (just want to compare to see if I'm not that different from others out there) I feel anxious, not a lot of appetite, tired, some times I feel fine and at ease, not interested in a lot stuff that usually would interest me....