CT98 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 1 week since break-up, NC from the minute I was dumped. I've been up and down for the last week, not surprisingly. The way I'm getting through it is so: I am telling myself 'I am NOT going to let a girl rule my life, if she doesn't want me fine, I'm great, I will eventually meet someone a better match for me, I am determined to get over this and be happy.' Anytime a negative thought enters my brain 'what's she up to' 'wonder if she's with someone else' is she even thinking about me, I stop it and change it to the above thought. That and a sh*t load of walking with music and cigarettes (Which I'm going to give up when I'm feeling better) Thing is, I'm worried that I'm not greiving properly and just burying feelings & thoughts which are going to unearth themselves in some ugly fashion further down the line. I certainly feel better with my current mindset of 'I'm not letting someone else have control over my happiness' but I want to make sure that I'm mourning the relationship properly. Thoughts please? Link to post Share on other sites
Bella2 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 1 week since break-up, NC from the minute I was dumped. I've been up and down for the last week, not surprisingly. The way I'm getting through it is so: I am telling myself 'I am NOT going to let a girl rule my life, if she doesn't want me fine, I'm great, I will eventually meet someone a better match for me, I am determined to get over this and be happy.' Anytime a negative thought enters my brain 'what's she up to' 'wonder if she's with someone else' is she even thinking about me, I stop it and change it to the above thought. That and a sh*t load of walking with music and cigarettes (Which I'm going to give up when I'm feeling better) Thing is, I'm worried that I'm not greiving properly and just burying feelings & thoughts which are going to unearth themselves in some ugly fashion further down the line. I certainly feel better with my current mindset of 'I'm not letting someone else have control over my happiness' but I want to make sure that I'm mourning the relationship properly. Thoughts please? Everyone deals with it their own way I guess. If it makes you feel better: great! I don't think there is a "proper" way of mourning. You're working hard at feeling better and that's all you can do now! You walk a lot? I was thinking of doing the same.... (I'm there with you with the smoking, yes, we should definitely stop, but one thing at a time ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author CT98 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 Everyone deals with it their own way I guess. If it makes you feel better: great! I don't think there is a "proper" way of mourning. You're working hard at feeling better and that's all you can do now! You walk a lot? I was thinking of doing the same.... (I'm there with you with the smoking, yes, we should definitely stop, but one thing at a time ) Yeah, my main passion in life is music, will be my first love and my last, so I load up my phone with an album I haven't listened to for a while or a universally agreed 'must hear' album, crank it up and just walk for miles. I live near lots of beautiful countryside so I've got plenty of places to choose from. It's what really helps me, it takes me miles away both literally and emotionally, so I would say give it a go. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Well, it sounds simple, but many are afraid... But allow yourself to just let go and let your feelings just flow. Some men get angry and want to break stuff, others can find themselves crying their hearts out. Once you have let it all go, you will fill empty and that is what scares us all. Once empty, you can then rebuild and fill your heart with good stuff. Mostly believing in yourself and seeing the good in others. There are plenty of good peeps out there. I too had my heart broken and it was all from expecting all the love I had would make a difference. It only does when the other is as loving as you are. You can't have any expectations or demands over you, if anything sharing commitment through each others hearts is all you need to make your relationship be a loving one, not a demanding or built on expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 It sounds like you are taking lots of positive steps for yourself. There is no such thing as grieving "properly". It's whatever gets you through the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I was actually worried about the same when I got dumped- that I'm not grieving properly. I feared I was repressing my pain, so much so that it would all resurface at some point, to leave me devastated. I also distracted myself, and told myself I deserved better. So far so good! Some of my days have actually been quite enlightening. I saw much of my relationship for what it was. Yes, I have a couple of bad days (moments really) here and there, but they aren't unbearable- not like I feared. I continue to tell myself I deserve better, and it really does help. Don't worry so much about it. Link to post Share on other sites
StrangerThanFiction Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I was wondering the same thing about my own grieving process. The first 3 days after BU were terrible but then on the 4th I woke up and I didn't really hurt. I wondered if maybe I was repressing it all because every time I started to feel sad I'd just think to myself: "this is temporary. This will pass and in the near future I won't even remember why I was pining for a guy who wasn't really all that good." I was afraid too that at some point the dam would burst and all the pain would just come on me at once. Well, today I'm hurting but not as bad as I thought I would so I guess I was worried for nothing. Like another poster said, everyone grieves differently and it sounds like you're moving forward and dealing with it in a healthy, positive way. I hope you feel even better soon And I'm totally with you on the cigarettes thing too lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelbettersoon Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I'm just over 2 months post BU and the walking helped me too! I still do it as I also love by the countryside Link to post Share on other sites
Author CT98 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 I'm just over 2 months post BU and the walking helped me too! I still do it as I also love by the countryside And how are you feeling now, after two months? Is it two months NC? Link to post Share on other sites
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