toot86 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Having been broken up for a couple of years now, I have maintained an interactive friendship with my ex all this time (only on facebook since we live in different countries). Its pretty stupid of me really, since I am now realising that this has only been keeping me secretly hooked on him and distracting me from properly moving on. The reason we stayed in each other's lives was because the friendship we had before the relationship was stronger and longer than the relationship and neither of us wanted to lose that. Anyway the point is my ex has finally got a new 3-month girlfriend (and quite fairly after all this time). Although I knew about it from the start, he has never publicised it or seemed into it when we chatted, in fact, he gave me the impression he didnt like her.. so I didnt think too much of it... This week she posted and tagged him in their first few "intimate" couple pics. And my stomach dropped.. Now I am usually really good at controlling what I post online and have not posted a single mellow status all year. But I have been feeling particularly vulnerable lately with other things going on in my life and it got to me a bit... and I ended up impulsively posting something on fb about needing a really big hug. I wasnt really thinking and was just feeling a bit lonely and craving attention. Well it got my ex's attention, he messaged me asking if I was ok. And now I don't know whether to reply and tell him how I've been feeling. We had our closure over a year ago now and have not talked about any of the details of the breakup since, so I assume he thinks I am doing fine these days. I know deep down Im not, and that I am struggling with being friends but I don't know if I should tell him this after so long? And how to tell him, Im a bit embarrassed about it... So what do I say... do I even say anything? Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Obviously, you are still attached even though you have separate lives. Until you saw he is OK with his freedom as a single man, you felt so left out. Maybe you thought being close friends was not so much of an attachment as it really is. All I can say is keep your thoughts to yourself, and tell him it was just a passing thing and it is done with. Let him be, as he has found his life the way he wants it. Time to shake that feeling away, by accepting his happiness with others and allow your friendship to be real. It may take some getting use to, but don't allow your feelings to change anything in your friendship. Because if you do, it may change what you have into something you don't want. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Give a try, try telling him how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Just casually say it was just one of those days and leave it at that. You can just do a fade out and start really detaching from him. How you feel isn't his responsibility and there is no need to explain things. You chose to put yourself in this position so you have to find your own way out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author toot86 Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 Well i took what I thought was the safe road and brushed it off saying it was one of those days and that there was no point talking about it but thanks for asking. Which only led to him coming across a little pissed off. He said "oh, ok. Sorry for prying. Though you were asking for sympathy putting you status out there in public." Now I'm wondering if I should have just been honest because I feel even worse. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 This is why keeping them on our social media is a very bad idea. I know how you feel. I had my ex blocked forever and he insisted on me unblocking so I did…knowing he had a gf and a few weeks later, BAM! he changed his profile pic to a pic of him kissing her sweetly on the forehead and her smiling so happily. My heart sank. I never went looking on his page he was stuck on my favorites list on my page for some reason and I could never figure out how to take him off of it (ridiculous FB) anyways, that's how I saw, sooo back to block he went and has since stayed there. I have no intention what so ever in unblocking again in the future either. Reason being, because seeing pictures of them stung and set my progress back. And for some reason, on any old comment they ever made on your page, you still see their profile pic even if they're blocked. Came across one recently and saw his profile of his latest pic of him and his gf and ya know what? I felt not even a sting of emotion over it. Thank you God. Link to post Share on other sites
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