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an example of why you shouldn't break NC


scobro

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I have gone no contact with my ex for over 5 months.I feel I have moved on. It was her birthday 2 days ago.I email her happy birthday and of course she replied that her life is so amazing and she is pissing gold moving on with her new partner etc etc.So I stupidly email back I am happy for you and will remember the good times we shared all the best to you...that sort of thing.She emails me back she cannot remember any and has moved on.So WTF a stupid reason to break NC is never going to end nice.I am not sure what I was expecting but I guess was expecting her to wish me well too but complete disrespect that 5 years meant nothing to her cannot remember any good times...wtf? Do not break NC it never goes well!!

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I believe this is a good thing for you. It is a confirmation that you are better off.

Look forward. I learned that some people are incapable of loving another person, I think some people simply love the way someone makes them feel. They simply love the attention but are incapable of putting someone else ahead of their own desires. You are better off! Look to the future.

 

Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance creates character and character produces hope!

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I have gone no contact with my ex for over 5 months.I feel I have moved on. It was her birthday 2 days ago.I email her happy birthday and of course she replied that her life is so amazing and she is pissing gold moving on with her new partner etc etc.So I stupidly email back I am happy for you and will remember the good times we shared all the best to you...that sort of thing.She emails me back she cannot remember any and has moved on.So WTF a stupid reason to break NC is never going to end nice.I am not sure what I was expecting but I guess was expecting her to wish me well too but complete disrespect that 5 years meant nothing to her cannot remember any good times...wtf? Do not break NC it never goes well!!

 

 

Usually when people have to remark their life is "amazing, great, and they are happy"...it means that they are actually not.

 

Just because she said that, doesn't make it true. One ex of mine once told me, after getting in contact with her in a similar situation, that she was dating some guy and was really happy. A week later I found out through mutual friends, she wasn't dating anyone, and it was just a lie....

 

No one likes to admit they are miserable. If you ask a person suffering from depression:

 

-" Hey how is it going?"

-" everything is fine!"

 

Despite the fact that they may not be well.

 

Not saying you should get your hopes up, or that it is an actual lie (it may as well be true). Also not saying it was OK for you to break no contact.

 

Exes are very unreliable people. You shouldn't take their word for anything they say. They will always tell you they are doing great. No one wants to appear miserable in front of an ex, regardless of who ended the relationship.

 

Could be true, could be a lie.

 

You should stay away from her, and keep NC up.

 

I said this so you don't feel so bad about yourself. But you should still keep NC up and move on.

Edited by dclan
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Thanks for posting this. It will be a reminder to those of us that have been dumped and think about sending something to the ex. As mentioned, This is not all that bad and it tells you that she was not the one and now you can look at this and start to feel better about moving because you are missing nothing. wish you the best and for the rest of us...hopefully we will refrain!!!

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Amazing my ass... If she is so happy, she wouldn't try to hurt anyone, specially people who had history with her because guess what? She wouldn't care, she wouldn't have the time, she would had so many better things to do than b*tching.

But what i see is a person full of bitterness and grudges. Like if she really didn't care, she would just say a thanks and not answering answer anymore, she would be indifferent.

 

Congrats OP, now you know she is a cunt and also you know that you are something special to remember and she still remembers you. Ego boost +1000

 

And don't worry about breaking NC.

I had NC 2 years, and suddenly i had the urge to reach out an ex, and the only way to do that, was by random e-mail i found i had sent back in the day, because i have deleted and blocked all other stuff (and obviously i forgot to do this, but when it was the time to reach out, i suddenly remembered it. Lol, scum brain). And guess what, she never replied as well lol. But it's ok, i did this for me and felt relieved and it didn't hurt at all.

 

Just saying. Because you did something usual and polite. From now on, i believe that you will go NC, because you want it, no because you have to. It faaaar better.

 

Good luck with your life OP.

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My ex is a total bitch too my friend. I broke no contact and talked to her and asked about the kids and what not and she pretty much did the same thing to me. Told me how amazing life was without me. That isn't true though its just a sick little game they play.

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My ex's birthday is coming up pretty soon. I have been thinking about if I should wish her a happy birthday or not. She didn't wish me a happy birthday for my 30th and that was very shortly after we broke up which really hurt my feelings because we had known each other for a really long time before we even dated. Its hard having a heart and actually caring about people sometimes but you are a good person. She is not so be glad she's gone.

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On reflection to be honest.

I have hardly any happy memories with you..

The rare few was spoiled.

You were a complete waste of time.

Sorry to say...

 

here's the nice text back after I wished her nothing but the best and will remember the good times we shared....lol...bitch or what?

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OP, why did you break up? Why do you think she has that much anger towards you?

 

I finally ended things couldn't take being treated like a doormat.She had lots of infidelity issues.Angry person in general Im glad I ended it.She is pissed because I did and it makes her look bad in her eyes.Our 5 years was so crazy and toxic full of fighting and hate so stupid we both stuck it out for so long.

 

The whole story is here if you want some major drama that will leave you shaking your head after you read.I was stupid for putting up with the abuse but I had low self esteem and wasn't working at the time so I i just went along with it.

 

Scroll down to #9 and the whole story is there if you are interested

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/484958-woman-sociopath-just-toxic

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I remember your story, she sounds a lot like my ex. It sucks being the one who actually cares. I have never been the one who didn't care and was just using someone but I am not an awful person. Cheating is so disrespectful and hurtful because not only are you cheating but you are lying too. Let her ruin someone else's life.

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Not surprised by her reply or the usual attempt to break NC with birthday excuses just to check up on her. That relationship was the definition of toxic. You have problems with alcohol and have been on assistance and dealing with depression and she sounds like a mess and has no values. At some point even the police intervened so bringing up the 'good times' after BU and NC is almost humor. The relationship is over, no need to reminisce on something that also brought a lot of pain.

 

If she thinks she's in good shape to be in a relationship, good luck to her, but for now you should be focusing exclusively on improving your own life, recovering and acquiring healthy habits. Life is short, no reason to continue beating a dead horse or building theories around it (is she a bitch, is she not a bitch, why is she so mean?).

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So sorry your ex is such a nasty c#@t ! I can honestly say even though my ex was an a@@hole to me st times, any time either of us ever reached out to each other after the BU (for whatever reason) it was mostly politely and sweetly, even.

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