up and down day 7 NC

[macman89]

Hey,

So I am currently day 7 of NC from the ex, have been up and down yesterday was really busy with work so that helped but I find my low moments I still get upset and think about them a lot. I was in pretty good mood yesterday and now I am sad that I miss them.. Just need some support and advice, I feel like I am doing well and Don't need them, than I get upset is normal right?

 

Thanks

[macman89]

Another thing is my confidence is back with women now, as I was at the club last night and hooked up with one girl just kissed and danced all night. Thought that would help get over her a bit which it did since I am still desirable so it helped my inner state. Another thing I just want to be over it where I don't care what she does or who she is with, I just keep telling myself it is over it is over hate when I have hard times so I just post here!

Edited September 13, 2014 by macman89

[tim_tom]

The up and down thing is normal I think. it shocked the heck out of me, and I hate it. Not knowing what my mood will be from 1 minute to the next is very tough to deal with.

 

I don't really understand it, but it seems most people go through it.

 

Stick in there, realizing it's over is the first step. Keep working on yourself and it will get easier

[Sad26]

This is normal and from my place I am jealous of all those who can even keep NC. I still can't give up checking social media and I stay at home thinking where she is going out tonight and with whom.

 

She has gone out every weekend from the time we broke up, not a trace of mourning from her side.

 

You are doing great and doing everything to be proud of. Keep going. You are inspiring.

[macman89]

Thanks! another thing Is I am taking a positive spin on this because I realized my "happiness" was based on her and if she approved etc. Meaning that when she liked me and our relationship was great I was happy but now that she is gone I can now focus on building inner happiness which isn't dependent upon anyone else. That is the ultimate goal in a breakup I believe, which is why hooking up with women to get over them doesn't work like I thought

[macman89]

Hey guys doing well today one thing I noticed too that I wanted to share with you that helps is that when you stop focusing on your own problems and start helping other people. My sister had an issue with my mom and I basically was the problem solver and helped them work it out. This helps you feel better and when I focus on other people's issues instead of my own that helps build happiness because it is not all about me. I also always say my issue with a girl isn't a bad issue compared to people out there that are starving or have family members sick, dying etc. When you really look at it from a whole different perspective it helps! This makes you stronger and better in the end and is a positive we are all going through this is how you have to view it

[h20-50]

Hey guys doing well today one thing I noticed too that I wanted to share with you that helps is that when you stop focusing on your own problems and start helping other people. My sister had an issue with my mom and I basically was the problem solver and helped them work it out. This helps you feel better and when I focus on other people's issues instead of my own that helps build happiness because it is not all about me. I also always say my issue with a girl isn't a bad issue compared to people out there that are starving or have family members sick, dying etc. When you really look at it from a whole different perspective it helps! This makes you stronger and better in the end and is a positive we are all going through this is how you have to view it

 

I'm right there with you brotha! 3 weeks no NC for me and all I want is to hear from her but I know if I did it would kill me as well, talk about a double edge sword huh! There is no way I could contact her and it kills me thinking that she will never again be in my life if she chooses not to but she did leave me so she didn't want me in her life obviously. It sucks, I had 2 days in a row where I felt great but today has been full of anxiety and worry. I shouldn't miss her, she gave up on me not the other way around but I still do and I know I will for some time. My last BU was full of breadcrumbs and I feel that made it much easier to ween of off but this one is strict NC so far and will be until I hear from her which makes it soooo hard. I hate my emotional swings, and even work doesn't get it off my mind. I'm an engineer so I obsess over problems which makes it even worse in my opinion. I've been through a hard BU before so I know it does get better but it takes a long while and I just want to be at the end of that journey already.