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How do you get motivated to wake up everyday?


Lipitor11

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I have to drag myself out of bed every morning to go to work, seeing that I'm in my 30's and single, wishing that I was in a real relationship, waking up next to the man of my dreams is something I think about everyday. I seriously don't want to live this kind of life being a single woman in her 30's, a part of me wants to be single and have freedom, then a part of me wants to be in a relationship.

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So make yourself into the kind of person that someone would want to be in a relationship with! How can you expect someone to be excited about you and your life if you aren't? I know it's hard, but try to be positive. Be kind to yourself. Find out what excites you, besides having a boyfriend. Use any anger you might have as fuel.

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I seriously don't want to live this kind of life being a single woman in her 30's, a part of me wants to be single and have freedom, then a part of me wants to be in a relationship.

 

It sounds like the two parts of you need to come to some sort of agreement.

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Once you stop tying your self worth to your relationship status, you may find that it's more exciting to get out of bed in the morning.

 

Perhaps you need to find something in your life worth getting out of bed for.

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To get motivated to wake up everyday, that sounds like a big task... Not sure if this will work for you.

 

Take Ex-Lax before bed time, or drink 12 ounces of beverage before you sleep.

Turn on the sprinklers and aim them at your neighbors front door and car.

Buy a few wall timers and connect them to 100w lamps pointed at your bed.

Don't go to sleep, and post "what to do to get motivated to fall asleep".

Look forward to waking up with a stiffy, even if you wake up at 4:30am.

 

OK on a lighter side... Invest in stocks, wake up early to watch the business report.

 

No no no... bad idea, stocks are too depressing. Scratch that!

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You are focusing on perceived negatives rather than all the positives in your life. The more you focus on the negative, the less attractive you will be to anyone! So focus on the positives and develop the positives further. There is no timetable for meeting someone, but you need to be in a good mental place and open to possibility (but not desperate).

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If you like to listen to Dr. Phil's philosophies... "you're single because you want to be..." even though you may not realize it. You may not like everything about it, but at the end of the day being single is the choice you're making, therefore on some level it's more attractive to you than being in a relationship.

 

 

I used to wonder why everyone around me was finding someone while for me it seemed impossible... but there's no mystery. Those people put real effort into finding someone because they REALLY DID want a relationship, whereas I? Well, for me the fantasy of having a relationship was better than the reality. There really are a lot of pleasures that come with being independent... and not all of us are willing to give that up even though at times it can be lonely.

 

 

I would suggest finding out what it is that's REALLY making you unhappy, that, by the way, no man can fix.

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I think you first need to come to terms with what it is that you are truly looking for. I certainly agree with a previous post about being excited about your life so that you can also bring in that "excitement" to the relationship. In other words, start working on finding inner happiness, by way of that you will automatically start drawing people in.

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You talk about being single in your 30's like it's a bad thing! There are no rules written anywhere that say you must be married off by your 30's.

 

You are still a relatively young woman, the list of good things about being this age and single is endless. If you're in your 30's you most likely have some relationship experience by now, so you've got an understanding of what you do and don't want in a partner. You will know what your relationship boundaries are. You've most likely made some mistakes in your 20's which you've learned from making you a wiser person.

 

I'm guessing that you've established a career and have a roof over your head, so you are self sufficient. Your income is all your own. You are in the perfect position to find what you really want rather then what you thought you may of needed in the past, there is a big difference between the two. Now is the time to draw upon your life and relationship experiences and play them to your strengths.

 

In the meantime you can do everything you want when you want to do it. No one else to please or answer to for anything. You still have to live your life time over again before you can say you're getting old.

 

What's not good about being single in your 30's? You feel no different to how you did in your 20's, except you're wiser more mature/stable and still have decades of your life ahead of you.

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Lipitor11, you've received a lot of good advice here. Please take it! I'm 29 and single and have been for more than a year now. I have felt the same as you..."I do but I don't want to be in a RS."

 

YOU need to be the person you want to get out of bed for everyday. A person who is happy, has a positive attitude and who is always smiling is what attracts people to them. I spent many years with ups, downs, back and forths and although I am cheerful, fun loving and easy going I never really appreciated life the way that I should have. I drank and partied a lot and put on this huge front that nothing bothered me and that I was so happy. It was a cover up. I fought battles with my own demons nightly, in private, where no one saw. It was something I hid very well all my life and still hide. Only now, over the last year something wonderful has happened to me. I've changed. I don't have much misery to hide anymore. After losing my Grandmother last month I'm seeing everything so differently. I see how great and precious life is. How we should all make the most of it before we die. But over the last year, I've realized that romantic RSs aren't everything. There is so much more to life. I mean, they hardly even matter when you really think about it. God has a plan for each and every one of us (not to offend you with my beliefs) but we have to put forth effort to execute that plan as well.

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Lipitor11, you've received a lot of good advice here. Please take it! I'm 29 and single and have been for more than a year now. I have felt the same as you..."I do but I don't want to be in a RS."

 

YOU need to be the person you want to get out of bed for everyday. A person who is happy, has a positive attitude and who is always smiling is what attracts people to them. I spent many years with ups, downs, back and forths and although I am cheerful, fun loving and easy going I never really appreciated life the way that I should have. I drank and partied a lot and put on this huge front that nothing bothered me and that I was so happy. It was a cover up. I fought battles with my own demons nightly, in private, where no one saw. It was something I hid very well all my life and still hide. Only now, over the last year something wonderful has happened to me. I've changed. I don't have much misery to hide anymore. After losing my Grandmother last month I'm seeing everything so differently. I see how great and precious life is. How we should all make the most of it before we die. But over the last year, I've realized that romantic RSs aren't everything. There is so much more to life. I mean, they hardly even matter when you really think about it. God has a plan for each and every one of us (not to offend you with my beliefs) but we have to put forth effort to execute that plan as well.

 

How can you be so positive about God's plan? Sometimes I feel positive and I trust that things will work out.. That I deserve better...but sometimes I just dont want to be awake. Like if there was a button you can press for insta-coma I would take it just to skip these feelings...

Its so hard to see the positive...Its so hard to smile when you just feel miserable inside.. You are right Romantic rel. arent everything but why is it so crippling.. I look forward to the day where she will no longer be able to hurt me...Somedays I see the light, other days it feels like it will never end...

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How can you be so positive about God's plan? Sometimes I feel positive and I trust that things will work out.. That I deserve better...but sometimes I just dont want to be awake. Like if there was a button you can press for insta-coma I would take it just to skip these feelings...

Its so hard to see the positive...Its so hard to smile when you just feel miserable inside.. You are right Romantic rel. arent everything but why is it so crippling.. I look forward to the day where she will no longer be able to hurt me...Somedays I see the light, other days it feels like it will never end...

 

And I understand how you feel because I've been there many times before. You just have to push yourself. The road to recovery isn't easy but it's not impossible to walk down. It just takes time to reach the end, like everything else. You'll walk down lots of roads throughout your life. Some roads are longer to walk down than others. BUT I do believe in taking detours. (= You have a choice, you can keep on the same path that you think is leading to nowhere and take another anytime you choose. Is the right path? Don't know. You'll see. But everyone takes that risk. Venture out into the unknown. Sometimes we hold on to our pain because we get so accustomed to it. We learn how to live in own misery. That's easy to do. It's much harder to change your way of thinking when your thoughts and feelings seem to be at war with each other. BUT YOU CAN change your outlook on things. Once your thoughts change, your feelings will too. Our feelings mirror our thoughts. NOT the other way around.

 

And believe you me, I questioned God's plans for me for a very long time. You just have to surrender to His will. Or surrender to the fact that not everything is completely in your control. Things do happen for a reason. Once you accept it, you free yourself from yourself. You just have to let go. You have to be strong for yourself and especially strong for your children if you have any. When I help someone or I think of someone else's problems and not my own or when I make short term and long term goals for myself and focus on how to execute them…I'm letting go of my misery. I'm making a choice to think about something else. That's how you change a pattern.

 

You have to be consistent. Only allow yourself so much time to be mopey. Limit how long you're going to feel sorry for yourself. Whenever thoughts like that creep into my brain I have to make efforts to perk back up. It's hard work that always pays off and leaves you feeling so proud and so strong.

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2 quotes I fell in love with:

 

"But I love him…" … "So you fell in love, big deal…" … "But I really miss him…" … "So miss him! Send him light and love every time you think about him, then drop it."

 

And:

 

"Having a broken heart is a good thing. It means we have tried for something."

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And I understand how you feel because I've been there many times before. You just have to push yourself. The road to recovery isn't easy but it's not impossible to walk down. It just takes time to reach the end, like everything else. You'll walk down lots of roads throughout your life. Some roads are longer to walk down than others. BUT I do believe in taking detours. (= You have a choice, you can keep on the same path that you think is leading to nowhere and take another anytime you choose. Is the right path? Don't know. You'll see. But everyone takes that risk. Venture out into the unknown. Sometimes we hold on to our pain because we get so accustomed to it. We learn how to live in own misery. That's easy to do. It's much harder to change your way of thinking when your thoughts and feelings seem to be at war with each other. BUT YOU CAN change your outlook on things. Once your thoughts change, your feelings will too. Our feelings mirror our thoughts. NOT the other way around.

 

And believe you me, I questioned God's plans for me for a very long time. You just have to surrender to His will. Or surrender to the fact that not everything is completely in your control. Things do happen for a reason. Once you accept it, you free yourself from yourself. You just have to let go. You have to be strong for yourself and especially strong for your children if you have any. When I help someone or I think of someone else's problems and not my own or when I make short term and long term goals for myself and focus on how to execute them…I'm letting go of my misery. I'm making a choice to think about something else. That's how you change a pattern.

 

You have to be consistent. Only allow yourself so much time to be mopey. Limit how long you're going to feel sorry for yourself. Whenever thoughts like that creep into my brain I have to make efforts to perk back up. It's hard work that always pays off and leaves you feeling so proud and so strong.

 

Thank you so much for this. I found it very helpful. It's true what you are saying are feelings are a reflection of our thoughts..

 

It's exhausting though I cannot wait for it to end. How do you control your thoughts? When you feel betrayal, sadness, hurt and when the other person is being manipulative and trying to get a reaction out of you to cause more hurt.

 

What kind of goals did you put for yourself? How long did it take for you to be free of the other person?

 

Quotes I love:

 

"To the wrong person you will never have any worth, to the right person you are everything"

 

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

 

"Accept the things you cannot change. Have the courage to change the things you can... and have the wisdom to know the difference."

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Good quotes!

 

How did I get through it? Well, I accepted that my ex and I weren't meant to last. I put myself back where I kept my ex for so long...in the center of my universe. Once I removed him from the center of my universe, everything started to change. I mean, that's where I belong! Not him! I got so tired of feeling bad about something that truly didn't matter anymore. I told myself, "Jesus (my name) ! Are you going to be bothered by this for the rest of your life or are you going to move on and live life again???!!! Do you really want to keep obsessing over something you have absolutely no control over???" I got mad at myself. I was sick of me.

 

I mean, he hasn't been a part of my life for a year! It wasn't him hurting me anymore, it was me hurting me! I allowed him to get to me via messaging. Ha. Really? What a joke! Sure he did me wrong but at some point I had to take the blame because I allowed him back in my life by engaging in communication. I just couldn't let it go.

 

Is it the kid's fault for being a brat if the parents spoil their a$$ and don't discipline them? Nope! My ex was the kid and I was the dumb parent. It was my own damn fault that I wasn't entirely happy. Some things you don't have control over, like how someone treats you but you do have control over how you respond to that type of treatment. You have control over yourself and what you do about it. Absolutely.

 

So I changed. I can't really explain how. A switch just flipped inside. I woke up one morning and I was just a different person. After having many many conversations with myself ... I finally got through to myself! LOL We all coach ourselves in different ways but the concept is usually the same. We want a change. Or we want to change. Bottom line, what we're doing just isn't working for us anymore. We're not happy. So we get motivated. You have to dive into something good and get lost in it. You have to pursue happiness. It doesn't just magically happen without effort. It isn't something that anyone can give you. You give it to yourself. You find it in yourself.

 

I stopped focusing on my love life (or lack there of, rather) and started focusing on myself and all the other wonderful things life has to offer me...other than just romance. We get way too obsessed when it comes to romantic love. We act as if nothing else matters and no other love can compare. Rubbish!

 

I finally found the inspiration I need to go and do and see! I inspired myself and I was also inspired by writer Elizabeth Gilbert. If you like to read, I highly recommend you read her books.

 

But it was losing a close relative of mine last month that really changed my outlook on everything. I'm still grieving. See, I've never dealt with the death of someone I love. It woke me up from the terrible coma I had been in all my life. Sleeping and dreaming when I should've been living...really living and really appreciating all the wonderful things in life. I see life as being more beautiful than I ever gave it credit for being before. At any moment, we could die. I started to really truly realize just how precious life is and just how much it means. Life, quite literally, is too short for us to be unhappy. We shouldn't waste the time we have being hung up on things. So screw having a broken heart over some guy who didn't value me as a lover, much less as a person...I now have a broken heart over my Grandmother dying. Hmmmm, what's really worth being upset about between the two?? Ya, so, I got the hell over my ex.

 

The best way to control your thoughts is to understand that they are just thoughts. Your spirit is much bigger and badder. (= Or, it should be anyways. If it's not, then get to working on it right now! You gota do fun, happy things. If you're a believer in Christ, then you should also pray.

 

If I told you my sad stories, I promise you'd be perplexed on how I could possibly be this positive after what all I've been through. But you know, the past doesn't exist. It's over. It's gone. We are left with only memories and memories are THOUGHTS. Choose what you want to remember wisely. I choose to remember the good and I choose to only think of the good. I choose to be happy despite all of my unhappy experiences.

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Good quotes!

 

How did I get through it? Well, I accepted that my ex and I weren't meant to last. I put myself back where I kept my ex for so long...in the center of my universe. Once I removed him from the center of my universe, everything started to change. I mean, that's where I belong! Not him! I got so tired of feeling bad about something that truly didn't matter anymore. I told myself, "Jesus (my name) ! Are you going to be bothered by this for the rest of your life or are you going to move on and live life again???!!! Do you really want to keep obsessing over something you have absolutely no control over???" I got mad at myself. I was sick of me.

 

I mean, he hasn't been a part of my life for a year! It wasn't him hurting me anymore, it was me hurting me! I allowed him to get to me via messaging. Ha. Really? What a joke! Sure he did me wrong but at some point I had to take the blame because I allowed him back in my life by engaging in communication. I just couldn't let it go.

 

Is it the kid's fault for being a brat if the parents spoil their a$$ and don't discipline them? Nope! My ex was the kid and I was the dumb parent. It was my own damn fault that I wasn't entirely happy. Some things you don't have control over, like how someone treats you but you do have control over how you respond to that type of treatment. You have control over yourself and what you do about it. Absolutely.

 

So I changed. I can't really explain how. A switch just flipped inside. I woke up one morning and I was just a different person. After having many many conversations with myself ... I finally got through to myself! LOL We all coach ourselves in different ways but the concept is usually the same. We want a change. Or we want to change. Bottom line, what we're doing just isn't working for us anymore. We're not happy. So we get motivated. You have to dive into something good and get lost in it. You have to pursue happiness. It doesn't just magically happen without effort. It isn't something that anyone can give you. You give it to yourself. You find it in yourself.

 

I stopped focusing on my love life (or lack there of, rather) and started focusing on myself and all the other wonderful things life has to offer me...other than just romance. We get way too obsessed when it comes to romantic love. We act as if nothing else matters and no other love can compare. Rubbish!

 

I finally found the inspiration I need to go and do and see! I inspired myself and I was also inspired by writer Elizabeth Gilbert. If you like to read, I highly recommend you read her books.

 

But it was losing a close relative of mine last month that really changed my outlook on everything. I'm still grieving. See, I've never dealt with the death of someone I love. It woke me up from the terrible coma I had been in all my life. Sleeping and dreaming when I should've been living...really living and really appreciating all the wonderful things in life. I see life as being more beautiful than I ever gave it credit for being before. At any moment, we could die. I started to really truly realize just how precious life is and just how much it means. Life, quite literally, is too short for us to be unhappy. We shouldn't waste the time we have being hung up on things. So screw having a broken heart over some guy who didn't value me as a lover, much less as a person...I now have a broken heart over my Grandmother dying. Hmmmm, what's really worth being upset about between the two?? Ya, so, I got the hell over my ex.

 

The best way to control your thoughts is to understand that they are just thoughts. Your spirit is much bigger and badder. (= Or, it should be anyways. If it's not, then get to working on it right now! You gota do fun, happy things. If you're a believer in Christ, then you should also pray.

 

If I told you my sad stories, I promise you'd be perplexed on how I could possibly be this positive after what all I've been through. But you know, the past doesn't exist. It's over. It's gone. We are left with only memories and memories are THOUGHTS. Choose what you want to remember wisely. I choose to remember the good and I choose to only think of the good. I choose to be happy despite all of my unhappy experiences.

 

 

I think it'll work to my benefit to read this post on a daily basis.

Thank you for sharing.

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Good quotes!

 

How did I get through it? Well, I accepted that my ex and I weren't meant to last. I put myself back where I kept my ex for so long...in the center of my universe. Once I removed him from the center of my universe, everything started to change. I mean, that's where I belong! Not him! I got so tired of feeling bad about something that truly didn't matter anymore. I told myself, "Jesus (my name) ! Are you going to be bothered by this for the rest of your life or are you going to move on and live life again???!!! Do you really want to keep obsessing over something you have absolutely no control over???" I got mad at myself. I was sick of me.

 

I mean, he hasn't been a part of my life for a year! It wasn't him hurting me anymore, it was me hurting me! I allowed him to get to me via messaging. Ha. Really? What a joke! Sure he did me wrong but at some point I had to take the blame because I allowed him back in my life by engaging in communication. I just couldn't let it go.

 

Is it the kid's fault for being a brat if the parents spoil their a$$ and don't discipline them? Nope! My ex was the kid and I was the dumb parent. It was my own damn fault that I wasn't entirely happy. Some things you don't have control over, like how someone treats you but you do have control over how you respond to that type of treatment. You have control over yourself and what you do about it. Absolutely.

 

So I changed. I can't really explain how. A switch just flipped inside. I woke up one morning and I was just a different person. After having many many conversations with myself ... I finally got through to myself! LOL We all coach ourselves in different ways but the concept is usually the same. We want a change. Or we want to change. Bottom line, what we're doing just isn't working for us anymore. We're not happy. So we get motivated. You have to dive into something good and get lost in it. You have to pursue happiness. It doesn't just magically happen without effort. It isn't something that anyone can give you. You give it to yourself. You find it in yourself.

 

I stopped focusing on my love life (or lack there of, rather) and started focusing on myself and all the other wonderful things life has to offer me...other than just romance. We get way too obsessed when it comes to romantic love. We act as if nothing else matters and no other love can compare. Rubbish!

 

I finally found the inspiration I need to go and do and see! I inspired myself and I was also inspired by writer Elizabeth Gilbert. If you like to read, I highly recommend you read her books.

 

But it was losing a close relative of mine last month that really changed my outlook on everything. I'm still grieving. See, I've never dealt with the death of someone I love. It woke me up from the terrible coma I had been in all my life. Sleeping and dreaming when I should've been living...really living and really appreciating all the wonderful things in life. I see life as being more beautiful than I ever gave it credit for being before. At any moment, we could die. I started to really truly realize just how precious life is and just how much it means. Life, quite literally, is too short for us to be unhappy. We shouldn't waste the time we have being hung up on things. So screw having a broken heart over some guy who didn't value me as a lover, much less as a person...I now have a broken heart over my Grandmother dying. Hmmmm, what's really worth being upset about between the two?? Ya, so, I got the hell over my ex.

 

The best way to control your thoughts is to understand that they are just thoughts. Your spirit is much bigger and badder. (= Or, it should be anyways. If it's not, then get to working on it right now! You gota do fun, happy things. If you're a believer in Christ, then you should also pray.

 

If I told you my sad stories, I promise you'd be perplexed on how I could possibly be this positive after what all I've been through. But you know, the past doesn't exist. It's over. It's gone. We are left with only memories and memories are THOUGHTS. Choose what you want to remember wisely. I choose to remember the good and I choose to only think of the good. I choose to be happy despite all of my unhappy experiences.

 

Very inspirational post, thank you for sharing!

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Thank you both very much! And you're welcome. (;

 

God knows, I'm only human. I still have down days. I'm not better than anyone, I'm not worse...I just choose to think differently than I used to because I want to feel differently than I used to. That's the message I'm sending. Happiness really is a choice. People absolutely can change if they want to. It's just that a lot of people don't want to change, or genuinely don't know how to and they need proper guidance. I think the latter is the case for people most of the time.

 

Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read my extremely long post. LOL

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Thank you both very much! And you're welcome. (;

 

God knows, I'm only human. I still have down days. I'm not better than anyone, I'm not worse...I just choose to think differently than I used to because I want to feel differently than I used to. That's the message I'm sending. Happiness really is a choice. People absolutely can change if they want to. It's just that a lot of people don't want to change, or genuinely don't know how to and they need proper guidance. I think the latter is the case for people most of the time.

 

Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read my extremely long post. LOL

 

Thank you so much everything you wrote is so helpful it is true. Sometimes I don't know how I will get through this. I stopped asking why? How? What does she think?

 

But the question I have trouble with is how can someone be this bad? How could you treat someone you loved like this? How did I not see this in her?

I just don't understand if u want to leave, then leave. But why say these things? Why act the way you do towards me or about me? I never did anything to deserve that... Iv broken up with ppl before but I would never do that not half of it not even to someone I hate.. That is the hardest part..

 

You are right though "my universe" il put me in the centre of my universe now somehow.. There is a lot more to life than a relationship but the betrayal and disappointment with "our plans" holds us down. I hope you are right that everything happens for a reason that things will truly be better I look forward to the day I believe it lol or rather feel it

 

Thanks a lot for taking the time to write this

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You're very welcome. And thank you for reading what I posted.

 

You're running in circles by asking, "Why did she, how could she??" That's a damn waste of time.

 

I often think of The Matrix…"Stop trying to hit me and hit me!" … "You're stronger than this…don't think you are, know you are."

 

So virtual friend, don't think things will get better for you…know they will.

 

I know about being betrayed by someone you love very well. It does hurt and you are entitled to the way you feel and it's not wrong. We all do that to ourselves. We chew on a problem until all the flavor is gone and then we stick it in our hair. lol

 

But one day you'll get just plain tired of thinking about it, talking about it and having feelings about it. You'll shrug your shoulders and tell yourself, "Oh well."

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Good quotes!

 

 

The best way to control your thoughts is to understand that they are just thoughts. We are left with only memories and memories are THOUGHTS. Choose what you want to remember wisely. I choose to remember the good and I choose to only think of the good. I choose to be happy despite all of my unhappy experiences.

 

Hear hear! So true. If I could advise anybody on trying to "tame the mind", try "mindfullness". I did a couple of sessions, in which we learn exactly that: a thought is just a thought. It's not reality. Try to let your thoughts go.

 

Really, it can do a lot of good (it's proven to be quite effective against depression)

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