Rainbows87 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I've been in a relationship for 2 1/2yrs. the first two years were beyond amazing. We traveled, we went out, we took part in adrenaline adventures and then financially things came to a halt. We started having more disagreements, I started feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. I would do any and everything for them even if I really couldn't afford it. I made sure to keep surprising them with romantic evenings and "just because" gifts and surprises. I rarely ever complained about anything and if I made a list of all the things I COULD have complained about you would tell me "oh no, I wouldn't stand for that!". I was compromising and was willing to compromise even more if it would help them "find themselves" because that was a reoccurring topic on their part. Saying things like "I've never been single before. Sometimes I feel I should know what that feels like. But I just love being in relationships" etc etc. I was willing to pull back a little and give a bit of space so that they could focus on themselves and not be SOOO involved in an intense relationship. I was always giving them support and helping them when they felt like they had no one else to turn to (I mean, that's what partners do, right?), I was a supporting them in their journey to be a better person. I cooked every night they came home, if they were having a bad day or sore I would provide a bubble bath so they could relax. They worried about NOTHING. And yet.... They cheated on me. I don't know what else I could have done for them to not have strayed. I don't know what I did to deserve the lies that were given to me so that they could go be with someone else. I've been kicking myself for noticing some subtle signs but brushing them under the rug because we had a mutually understanding about trust and being honest (so I tought). I don't know what to do now. I don't know how to handle this break up. It's only been a day since I discovered everything and approached them with what I had found and them crying their eyes out and apologizing and saying how they hate that they are always messing up "something good" and don't know why. I'm so hurt and I just don't know what to do next. My whole world has crumbled. 2 1/2yrs of me being totally committed, faithful and loving just down the drain. Any help or advice would be great. Be gentle please. Part of me still cares about them and their well being and I know they have some internal issues to deal with and I want them to find what their looking for but I hate that I'm not it when I was so sure that I was. Link to post Share on other sites
Cupid's Puppet Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Why are you using "them" "they" and "their". Does this person not have a gender? Anyway, the first thing you need to do is accept that there is nothing you did wrong. These things happen. You weren't the first, and certainly won't be the last person to be betrayed. Second, whatever you do don't put your life on hold waiting on that person to decide what he or she wants. If both people are willing to make it work, try to discuss your issues in front of a third party, i.e. a therapist. Even then, consider some time apart to decide what you both want. This person sounds like s/he has been having deep rooted issues for awhile if there was a "journey" you had to help him/her get through. I can go on, but I don't want to keep typing like s/he, him/her, them, this person, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
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