isurvivedyoucantoo Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I removed her from facebook and decided to re-add her, which was a huge mistake. I immediately got a text saying why did you remove me to which I didnt want to respond, but she kept pestering me so I caved in. I told her that I had been talking to one of her friends who advised me to unfriend her if I couldn't keep myself from viewing her profile. This apparently pissed her off even more and she stated that I should be talking to HER best friend.....which is odd, because I am in no way trying to steal friends or have them choose sides I was just looking for advice to better MYSELF. She then went on to accuse me of being just like her father (her parents had just gone through a divorce right when I met her, which could explain why she seems to be going full GIGS mode on me, but I dont want to put a false sense of reuniting in my head.) Anyways, her father is bipolar and has harmed her and her sisters both physically and mentally. This cut super deep when she said this, as I know for a fact I have never done either of these things and have put her ahead of myself ever since the beginning of the relationship. The fact that someone who said they loved me is now comparing me to someone they have blatantly stated as hating is beyond annoying. I responded by telling her to hate me if she wants and I told I know I have done nothing wrong to which she responded, I dont hate you, Im just annoyed by you which is different. TLDR: If you unfriend your ex, dont re-add them and dont respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Give some more time, you may find solution. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 gigs is an excuse for people who goes through a stage in life when they want something else. its normal and its not a syndrome. we cant keep the attraction up simple as that. dont excuse yourself. she left you and what you should say is that if your friend wants to talk to me ill talk. she made a decision to leave you. that doesnt mean she can tell you what to do. it actually means she cannot tell you what to do. i would just unfriend her again. also dont tell her friend youre looking at her profile. girls talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author isurvivedyoucantoo Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 (edited) gigs is an excuse for people who goes through a stage in life when they want something else. its normal and its not a syndrome. we cant keep the attraction up simple as that. dont excuse yourself. she left you and what you should say is that if your friend wants to talk to me ill talk. she made a decision to leave you. that doesnt mean she can tell you what to do. it actually means she cannot tell you what to do. i would just unfriend her again. also dont tell her friend youre looking at her profile. girls talk. I know that's precisely why I talked to her. I only said positive things. It's just amazing to see someone go so cold. Also the GIGS thing is an excuse if you make it an excuse. Obviously people fall in and out of love. I'm not waiting for reconciliation, I just want to be treated fairly. She broke it off over facebook out of the blue and refused to give me an actual call. When she gets back to the states in a few days and I'm back at school with her, she wont be able to avoid the topic any longer since we share the same group of friends, which I have no intention of giving up just because things didnt work about between me and her. Edited August 19, 2014 by woxdy Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I know that's precisely why I talked to her. I only said positive things. It's just amazing to see someone go so cold. Also the GIGS thing is an excuse if you make it an excuse. Obviously people fall in and out of love. I'm not waiting for reconciliation, I just want to be treated fairly. She broke it off over facebook out of the blue and refused to give me an actual call. When she gets back to the states in a few days and I'm back at school with her, she wont be able to avoid the topic any longer since we share the same group of friends, which I have no intention of giving up just because things didnt work about between me and her. what i meant was that grass is greener has been known for ages and then someone started to make it look like a syndrome. its nothing else then people moving on. yeah people do act cold. even when they really arent we think that they are because we dont want them to be in a specific way. every way is bad if you still like them. if you go to school just act normal around her and her friends thats all. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Unfriend her again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author isurvivedyoucantoo Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 Now she's posting photos of her with other guys on snap chat guess ill have to block her on this app too.... I cant believe I loved this person, who is simply just being mean. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Now she's posting photos of her with other guys on snap chat guess ill have to block her on this app too.... I cant believe I loved this person, who is simply just being mean. Yeah unfortunately it happens. But I don't know since I don't know her. Could it be that she's actually dealing with the breakup herself? That she's changing a little like we all do in a weird way. Doesn't mean she's after the guys or to hurt you. However I can agree that it's disrespectful to do things that can harm someone you loved even if you don't mean it. It's like the people changing their Facebook status the same day. Get their Facebook spammed by their friends and the person who got dumped has to read all that ****. Is it really that important to show everyone the same day that they broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author isurvivedyoucantoo Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 We were in different countries during the summer and eventually communication between the two of us slipped up on her end. I asked her what was up and she said that she needed space to decide whether we should be together, because according to her she was struggling with family and God problems. I gave her a day or so and asked her for a set date on when I should try to move on. This advice came from one of her friends and it immediately backfired and she ended it right then and there...... over facebook. A few weeks go by and I push her for a reason for why she broke up with me. She eventually told me that she had met someone new and that she had started to think about cheating on me with him and in order to avoid that, she just broke up with me there. The guy that she wanted ended up turning her down and ever since then she has been extremely cold towards me. She got mad at me for talking to our mutual friends about it, because at the time and even now Im confused about the whole situation. When got back to college a few days ago I returned her stuff to her where again she refused to even look at me and brought one of her friends along to prevent conversation. The next day I asked her to talk to which she responded "I know you want to talk, but I really dont....." "There is nothing else to talk about, at least not right now." I kinda just want real closure and for her to stop treating me like the plague, but seems to be stringing me along until she sees what all her options are. It's really frustrating and it's making it so hard to move on since I have hope that she wants to reconcile. I honestly dont recognize her at the moment and she has completely changed her life style literally over the last 2 months. I dont know I hate watching someone I love make decisions such as hooking up or trying to hook up with random people, as I know its only going to hurt her more in the long run. I really wish I didnt care.....but I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelbettersoon Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 My ex has also completely changed in the past two months. It's horrible to see someone you love do this and I'll also never understand it Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 My ex has also completely changed in the past two months. It's horrible to see someone you love do this and I'll also never understand it Human is made up of sand, can be changed anytime. Link to post Share on other sites
Stsm5934 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I know it's horrible. I'm a little over a month post-break-up and I'm still struggling everyday. I've started to feel a little better this week, as school started again and I can't focus all my time on it anymore. I know it's hard, but you have to stop focusing on her. Right now you need to take your love and focus it on yourself. The thing is, you'll never understand. It will never make sense. It doesn't matter how many hours you try to figure it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author isurvivedyoucantoo Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 My ex has also completely changed in the past two months. It's horrible to see someone you love do this and I'll also never understand it It's even worse when her friends see the exact same thing happening and also dont understand why she is acting crazy. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I kinda just want real closure Would she need to rent a blimp with a sign on the back saying "I'm just not that into you"?? You have closure. She wants nothing. but seems to be stringing me along I actually think she's being very humane to you and not giving you any hope whatsoever. As far as watching her make bad decisions, you would think any decision that didn't involve you being her boyfriend was a bad one - it's human to feel that way. Thats why you need to eliminate her from your life, like she's eliminated you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author isurvivedyoucantoo Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 Would she need to rent a blimp with a sign on the back saying "I'm just not that into you"?? You have closure. She wants nothing. I actually think she's being very humane to you and not giving you any hope whatsoever. As far as watching her make bad decisions, you would think any decision that didn't involve you being her boyfriend was a bad one - it's human to feel that way. Thats why you need to eliminate her from your life, like she's eliminated you. You're absolutely right. I just dont get how someone can go from "I love you buy your plane ticket to come visit me" to "You're the safe option, not the right option", within a week. As for the closure thing, I truly don't believe messages over Facebook count as closure. However, life isnt fair and I guess I will have to learn to accept the fact that some people truly can be heartless. Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I could give you about 10000 words on why she switched. But ultimately, people love the idea of being in love more than the person themselves. It ends up badly when that's the case. And you got closure, you just don't like what you got. Which I understand. Link to post Share on other sites
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