dudemeister Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Saw that my ex had posted some new photos online and decided to check them out to see what has been happening in her life. Bad. Idea. There she was, happy and smiling with her arms around another dude. Soon as I saw the photos my chest just started burning and I felt like throwing up. That has never happened to me before. Crazy. This feels pretty ****ing terrible. It just sucks to see her move on so quickly while I'm clearly not even close to being over her. The worst part is that I was finally starting to feel better and move on with my life. Now its back to square one. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
Davidlarsson Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 How long ago since you broke up and what was the reason? Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 She's simply masking her feelings, not towards you but overall feelings. Social media is one big façade, it portrays smiles, hugs, and good times, don't give in to that façade. Take this as a lesson and adhere to NC diligently. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Yes very bad move.Delete all her profiles from your social media accounts.Delete emails and cell phone numbers from phone.,...everything you can think of.The last thing you want to see is her with someone else.My ex was evil and emailed me pics of her ex naked in her bed and pics of her new guy so try and not go out of your way to see whats going on in her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dudemeister Posted August 28, 2014 Author Share Posted August 28, 2014 Davidlarsson, it has been 4 months since the break up and the photos that I saw of her were taken 3 months after the breakup. We broke up because of the distance and the fact that she did not want to move to where I am (its a 10 hour drive between us). I guess that's what making this harder - knowing that we were a great couple but couldn't work because of the distance. JDPT, yeah you are right. It is a facade. In my mind I know that but I can't help feeling like sh*t. scobro, the emailing of naked pics is messed up. I would blow a gasket if that happened to me. Thankfully she hasn't sent me anything. At all. Both of us have been strict NC for 4 months now. I did delete all emails, texts, numbers, and profiles. The thing is, her social media profile is wide open for the whole world to see so it is very easy to look her up. These photos were of a wedding in her family that I was originally supposed to go to. So to see her all over someone else at that event is tough. Originally, I had no idea that I would have this bad of a reaction. But lesson learned - no more looking at photos. At least not until I am completely over her. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 I'm struggling with the same thing. Honestly, I don't even really want my ex back. She was so mean and did so many things to hurt me in the end. But I ache to look at her social media. I've been almost 5 months NC and 3 1/2 months NC(social media included). It's really your last bit of power. So, hold on to it. Don't give in. Stay strong. Make up your mind to say "hello" to a cute girl at the grocery store instead!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 She shouldn't even be on your social media friend lists. Cut the chord! And this is why! Link to post Share on other sites
EmbeddedCortex Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Social media from your EX is literally the first thing you start avoiding like the plague after a breakup. Think about it, people try their best to show the best parts of their lives on social media, to make themselves look happy and successful. That already messes with people's heads, imagine how much worse it is to be subjected to these feelings when looking at someone's social profile who has literally broken your heart. Don't make the same mistake again please. Your Ex's Facebook, instagram, twitter, snapchat, etc. are the worst things you can subject yourself to during the healing process. Who cares if she's actually happy or if she's miserable underneath it all, it hurts you all the same. Don't look at her social media again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 People grieve the relationship in different ways. Its a cycle effect. It will slow down into managable phases. And sometimes it will be a tailspin of memories. the key is to remain the adult and stand tall as this happens. It ires me that anyone asks you the "reason" for the breakup, its no ones business and 99% of the time they aren't asking for compassionate reasons, they are asking so they can tell you what a tramp or conniving person the ex was. Which is rarely the case. Instead take your time. You aren't at the same place you were 4 months ago. You are progressing ... two steps forward, one back...yet always in the direction of healing.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dudemeister Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 Thanks everyone. Yeah, no more social media for me. In fact, I really need to unplug my computer for a couple months. Just to get away from the temptation. Link to post Share on other sites
Don22 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I think seeing a photo of an ex with someone else can help overcome the initial shock factor. I live in a small town and I remember driving down the road and seeing my ex girl friend hand in hand with some other guy. I thought she was still hurt over our breakup and it was really more than I could handle. If I could have seen her photo with another guy, it would've been easier to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Lalocket Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Thanks everyone. Yeah, no more social media for me. In fact, I really need to unplug my computer for a couple months. Just to get away from the temptation. i dream of the days there was no social media. it is mental torture. i was checking his twitter every hour in the first couple of days. it was so unhealthy and when i ever DID see something, i would over analyse and convince myself it was another girl, another date. i've learnt my lesson, all it did was make me feel sick. i think all my exes have tried to crawl back at some point, whether it be months or years down the line. they will miss you eventually. hopefully when it is too late. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 i dream of the days there was no social media. it is mental torture. i was checking his twitter every hour in the first couple of days. it was so unhealthy and when i ever DID see something, i would over analyse and convince myself it was another girl, another date. i've learnt my lesson, all it did was make me feel sick. i think all my exes have tried to crawl back at some point, whether it be months or years down the line. they will miss you eventually. hopefully when it is too late. Sometimes I also think that there should be no social media, but social media has been helpful too in many ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelbettersoon Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Social media during a breakup is awful. Had to delete my ex. He is one of the kinds that posts on FB about EVERYTHING in his life. Not this breakup, but his day, achievements, funny videos, songs, he's always online on his phone and always had atleast 5 conversations going at once. I was used to this and now it's over find it painful, I don't want to know how good he weekend away is! Over 100 mutal friends that I can't delete all. I need FB for college. Freakin sucks. Social media and television has also given us unrealistic expectations on relationships which is why more are failing. Rant over lol Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Social media during a breakup is awful. Had to delete my ex. He is one of the kinds that posts on FB about EVERYTHING in his life. Not this breakup, but his day, achievements, funny videos, songs, he's always online on his phone and always had atleast 5 conversations going at once. I was used to this and now it's over find it painful, I don't want to know how good he weekend away is! Over 100 mutal friends that I can't delete all. I need FB for college. Freakin sucks. Social media and television has also given us unrealistic expectations on relationships which is why more are failing. Rant over lol Some people are fascinated about FB for first few days or weeks/months. Once, like everyone else when they have to get off FB for some time, they have to face the reality. Reality is that no one cares about your FB once you stop updating every 3rd day. If you want to check profile and updates of some particular people, then just sign in with a anon acc. Link to post Share on other sites
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