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How long until you stopped thinking of the ex daily?


JBlackstone

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Broken up almost two months, doing pretty well. NC for about 4 weeks. I wonder though when will I stop thinking about him every day. Sometimes it's because I see something he would like or something I would want to share with him, a lot of things still remind me of him. I think it's just habit and I miss being in a relationship and having someone to share details of my day with. I don't think it's necessarily him but rather the role he played. I also think about our relationship a lot as I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and get clear on what I really want in a future partner.

I know I'll think of him from time to time like other exes in my life but I wish he wasn't so present in my thoughts now.

 

How long did it take for you to get your ex off your mind?

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FortunateSon

I think it just takes time, I still think of my ex daily and it's a little over a year post breakup. It gets better, I don't think of her as much or in the same way I did earlier in the break up process, more just little reminders. If you have been with someone for a significant amount of time you don't just completely forget about them.

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Before this relationship I was in a 3 yr relationship. I can't recall how long it took me to release his memory. Something tells me it was a lot faster than this one is going to be.

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FortunateSon

There is no set time limit, some relationship for a variety of circumstances or reasons, may take longer to get over than others. Just focus on doing what YOU can to heal and move forward.

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Aside from a couple of months where I was dating someone else and very rarely thought of my ex, in the 9 months since the breakup I am still thinking about him on a daily basis. There is definitely a huge void there and it will take a while. I still love and miss him and people say it is like an addiction well i haven't contacted him for 4 months. But it still feels so fresh and i still feel like he is a big part of my life.

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I think it really depends on the person.

 

For me, she was my first girlfriend. We were only together for six months. It's been almost nine months since she dumped me and I think about her constantly every day.

 

I have not dated anybody else since.

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differs for everyone. I can honestly say that one girl I loved from years ago, well it took me SIX YEARS to stop thinking about her and realise she was never coming back.

 

even though I moved on she was ALWAYS at the back of my mind and it wasnt until I spied on her facebook and saw she is now married and has two children with some guy that I finally accepted that I was never going to hear from her again, and moved on.

 

so it is different for everyone.

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Itspointless

Haven't stopped thinking of her daily. Even if it was just a few months it still bothers me. It especially bothers me when I start thinking that she probably did not push me away entirely as she still reached out once a month, only two or three sentences. I guess I had to play the game of the avoidant, I couldn't. Lots of reading showed me similar experiences by others who never got back the person they got to know, just the games. So that is what I try to tell myself every day. Apparently I have seen a rare part of hers: her vulnerable self. I now understand her surprise in the beginning. I loved her vulnerable self.

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It's a year soon and I still think about her daily. It doesn't cause me

Extreme pain and anxiety as it used to, but I hope it will get better on

This plan too.

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I also think of her daily though it's been a year since the BU of a 10 year relationship. However, I just recently met a new gal and feel pretty good about where things are headed so hopefully the end of the attachment is near. Wish me success!

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Two months quiet honestly isn't enough time to "stop thinking" about that someone who meant so much to you. It's all situational and dependent on how much effort you are willing to set forth in order to desensitize yourself from your ex. I used to reroute my thoughts every other minute when memories of the past used to rush my brain leaving me with this intense pain in my chest. I'm at one year and about 3 months post BU and I can tell you that to this day there are moments that I may think about her. These are inadvertent thoughts, nothing that I would purposely invest the time or energy in generating.

 

 

 

 

Think of your ex as a stranger, as someone who you owe absolutely nothing to and vice versa. I used to use the analogy of someone walking by me on the street, you think absolutely nothing about that person. She doesn't need to know if I'm good or bad. I internalized the fact that she was no longer around and that I needed to fend for myself and stand strong on my own two feet.

 

 

Give yourself time, you are in this for the long run, pace yourself no need to rush this process. Be gentle with yourself and know that better days will come ahead and that this pain/discomfort you are feeling will not perpetuate.

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It's all just a progression that happens on a personal timeline influenced by who you are and the experience you had in the relationship. I remember having this thought after my last heartbreak, and thinking I would never get through a day without thinking about him, but it happened.

 

I agree about being gentle with yourself. I posted this somewhere else, but we have such a habit of judging ourselves as we move through a breakup, Why am I not better yet? Why do other people move on so quickly? What's wrong with me that I still think about him? ....The truth is you just need to be present with yourself, no one can give you a timeline.

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5 months for me and I still think of her daily. From what I have gathered, this is something you just have to learn to live with. It doesn't seem like something that goes away for a very long time, if ever. I really can relate.. I am tired of thinking about her. It's very uncomfortable to always distract yourself. Sometimes I want to relax, by myself. But I can't, because I always end up thinking about her, or the relationship. I have to constantly keep reminding myself that whatever I am thinking about does not matter, and trick myself into thinking about something else. It's tiring, and ultimately, and eventually, my mind wins. Then for a little while, it's like I'm back to square one.

 

I don't give up nor do I plan to, but sometimes it's really hard to keep going. It's really hard for me personally to stop thinking:

Does she regret it?

I can never stop wondering this. More likely than not she doesn't, but I can't seem to let this thought go.

Does she miss me

 

Is she thinking about me

 

Does she hate me?

 

It's so hard to let go of something that you want to answer so badly. In the end we will probably never get to answer these things, so we have to focus on sure things in life. We will move on from this, because no one outside of country songs ever really stays hung up on one person for the rest of their life. Someone else will come along and replace them, no matter who you are or what you look like. Just have to remember that none of this matters, and none of this will matter at all 10 years from now.

 

Also remember that even if we get what we think we want, it will probably end up being so different and unlike the fantasy we have created in our heads, that we wont want it anymore.

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I know exactly what you mean.Its been just over 5 months since I have seen my ex and I still think about her everyday.Its like you said I don't exactly miss her but the role she played.Mine was even a really bad toxic relationship filled with infidelity on her part and just human nature I still think about her.I did no contact and broke it after 4 months and sent an email twice but got no reply.So I know she has moved on and I need to start my new life which Im doing slowly but surely.Its hardest for me early morning hours,late at night and weekends is when I think about her the most.Sometimes its all day like yesterday I had to say to myself"stop thinking about her so much" its so hard and I totally know how you feel.Time is really the only way it will start getting better.

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Only a 6 month relationship and just over 4 months since break up and a little contact her and there. Still think about her every day. The problem with mine is that it was short term and we were just trying to work through things and I didn't do as well as I know now that I should have. I keep wondering if things might have worked if I did xy and z that I know recognize from outside the relationship. I don't have a good feeling that I will be over her in the near future because I still wish I could talk with her face to face and I'm doing my best not to contact her and I wont.

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Right now I'm trying to mount a projector to the ceiling and I caught myself thinking it would be easier if she was helping me.

 

I haven't seen her in person since December 5th.

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