My story so far. I won't kill myself.

[LarryW125]

Hey, guys! My name is Larry I'm 17 going on 18 next month. I'm basically here to tell you what's been happening in my life. If you look in my profile, I made a post called "I can't do this anymore." i'll start in the beginning. In the beginning of my junior year of highschool I met a girl. Let's call her J. J is 15 going on 16 in November.

 

When I first met her last year, we always had a friendly chemistry. But J had a boyfriend. Later in the year, they broke up. Fast forward to this year. My senior year of highschool and her sophomore year of high school. J and I become closer friends and I ask her to my senior prom and she accepts! Awesome, right? Then it turns out I began developing feelings for her. And it turns out she had feelings for me to.

 

We decided to be together, but we made a mistake. We decided to have a secret relationship. We would always meet up during lunch, study halls, after school, etc. We were really connecting. We had talked about me going away to college. But we live in a fairly sized community. I'm going to a community college for the fall and attending a university in the spring. It's an hour away. But we were really into each other.

 

I was dedicated to making this work. This was my first relationship with a girl. My first kiss. My first love. I was going to fight for this. But something happened on her end. She started to pull away from me. She didn't want to meet me anymore and she told me her feelings weakened. I was completely lost. I got scared. I did not want to lose her. Little did I realize, I already had. I got depressed. No matter what I did, she kept pulling away. I kept telling her how much I wanted this to work and that I would be willing to talk with her parents about our age difference. I was going to do want ever it took to be with her.

 

But I couldn't see that I was screwing myself. I kept fighting for this girl who clearly did not want to be with me anymore. But I didn't get it. What could have happened between us to make her feelings weaken? It got bad. Every time i talked to her, i got so upset. We fought a lot. We both hurt each other. I've tried no contact once and I made it 13 days. When we did talk she told me "she was waiting for us to talk again." Talk about mixed signals.

 

One day, she wanted to catch up. I agreed. She told me she is kind of giving her ex another chance. Although, they're not going to go into a relationship, they will stay friends because they're going into their junior year and they won't have time for a relationship. I lost it. She also told me that two months before she liked me she liked this ther guy but he didn't like her as much as she did so she moved on. I couldn't talk it. At the time, I felt so hurt and used. So here I am. Depressed and crying every day and she moves on. But I get it. She's young and so am I. I attend therapy once a week and am working and doing p90x. We both apologized to each other and are now on positive terms. I told her I need some space to find myself. No contact day 4. I miss her so much, but I know she doesn't want me anymore. And it kills me. My record for no contact is 13 days. Let's see if I can best it.

[d0nnivain]

You will survive this. When classes start in the fall you will have a whole new world opening up to you. Take advantage of it! These new adventures will help you tremendously getting over her.

[Mary Oak]

Dude you are going to college. You don't yet realize the world that is getting ready to open up to you. It's incredible. I would give anything to go back to that type of social network. College should be the best years of your life. Just wait, you will see.