Text Messages - ERASED

[guest569]

It's been nearly 7 months since the breakup and I have finally managed to erase all of the text messages from my phone. 9 months worth of meaningless exchanges, gone. I feel a slight sense of relief and sadness. Has anyone else had any trouble deleting past messages?

 

The reason I did this was because I kept re-reading his final 2 messages which were very patronising, insulting and upsetting for me. I am still in a LOT of pain and have no self esteem because of the things he said and just the fact he dumped me.

 

I was feeling really tempted to text him this past week and have been in tears every morning and actually started writing out texts a few times before deleting them. Spur of moment decision was to delete the texts and pretend he never said those things. I can still vividly recall everything he said word for word (in texts, face to face and on the phone) but hopefully it will fade. I love having a good memory but times like this it really works against you. And I hate that I feel everything so deeply.

 

I am seeing all of his bad points now, and our 'amazing, perfect' date memories and moments are all fading. I know that we really did have a great relationship and that's why it has been difficult to get over. There weren't really any negatives from the relationship to focus on. But during and AFTER the breakup, he handled things really badly. I am finally reaching the ANGER STAGE. FINALLY!!!!!

[Offspring]

I think it's more important NOT to text him, than to delete his texts, but it seems you were ready to. I've previously kept abusive / inappropriate texts purely to remind me of how lousy a person can be. When the remnants were over, i had no problem deleting them, but i still have to say, it's more important not to text him.. Your self respect depends on it, and you'll recognise this one day

[FoolishMan]

I think in your situation, it is a good thing to erase messages. There is no turning back and re-reading message keeps the bad memories and pain alive! I think you have taken a step in the direction of moving on, which is positive.

 

Don't bother to contact him again, it will set you backwards. Good luck!

[guest569]

I think it's more important NOT to text him, than to delete his texts, but it seems you were ready to.

 

I feel as though re-reading these old texts was making me relive the breakup and hate myself more and my anger was building. Whereas if I had deleted them already I probably wouldn't be feeling like that. But then again maybe it is good to feel angry. If I didn't have those texts I might have been all sad and reminiscing the good times.

 

Come to think of it I was wanting to reach out and tell him how I miss him and don't know what happened to us.. but reading those stupid texts changed my desire to do that. Leading me to anger rather than sadness.

 

Either way, they were provoking me to contact him!!! But I did not and hopefully.... will not.

Edited July 25, 2014 by smiley1

[guest569]

And I don't think I am ready to delete his number or block him yet.. I am letting go, bit by bit. I just can't completely let go yet. I will not.

[VanessaVanessa]

It's been over 9 months since my BU. A few days ago I deleted some messages from social media that had automatically saved as emails. I was close to rereading some, but I felt that it was better not to, and then I deleted them. I have only kept one of those messages, the last one we exchanged, from what I remember I keep it to remind me of how much he was changing, in case I ever become confused.

 

As for text messages, I don't actually keep them on my phone. I moved them (almost all of them) to my computer, saved it as a file. I guess this is a bad thing to do in some way. Guess the texts were more personal and I still haven't been able to delete any of those. Although, I haven't read any of them in many months. Not too sure why I keep them. Somehow I want to be able to just look at them again when it won't hurt I suppose. I feel as though if I delete them proof of anything happening will be gone. I think that scares me. But I have considered deleting them on the recent and fluctuating bad days I come close. I want to, but I just can't.

Edited July 25, 2014 by VanessaVanessa

[Emilia]

And I don't think I am ready to delete his number or block him yet.. I am letting go, bit by bit. I just can't completely let go yet. I will not.

You would do yourself a huge favour if you toughened up your approach.

[dumbass2]

I had hung onto my texts as a reminder during the break up. I would look back and see the red flags. nothing abusive or even mean or nasty, just things she would send that showed her insecurity and mentality with stuff. It was a good reminder for me as to why it wasn't and would not have worked long term. I have only recently deleted them and have blocked her on phone and email. I do have all the pictures saved on my computer in one file as they were all good times and times I look back on with no regrets and it was a great chapter in my life. Just didn't work out, but it has been hard.

 

You should not text him and you should block him everywhere you can. I wish I had done that earlier as it would have saved me a lot of grief. There was no good that could have come from it.

[Simon Phoenix]

I didn't have to do this, because I got a new phone right after the break that brought me here, which was fortuitous. I did have a few sexy pictures that she sent me that were on my other phone that were tempting to look at, but I lost that phone on an airplane, so I lost those forever. No big deal, even though the next person sitting in row 23C on the Delta plane I flew got a nice little surprise if they turned it on

[JustSomeGuyHere]

I deleted mine the night we broke up. Overall I'm happy I did because I might be tempted to reread them and remember happier times.

[me85]

I know just how you feel. I finally deleted the text messages from my ex the other day. As silly as it sounds, that really is a big step-emotionally. The thread was old. We have not been texting for a long time now. I can't exactly pinpoint my reasoning for not deleting it until recently. I suppose I wanted to be able to look back and read them (though I never did.) I've really moved on and it feels great.

 

Things will get better for you. The anger stage helps but it'll pass and then you just won't care anymore.

 

Best wishes!

J

Edited July 25, 2014 by me85

[FoolishMan]

And I don't think I am ready to delete his number or block him yet.. I am letting go, bit by bit. I just can't completely let go yet. I will not.

 

I would say delete his number as then you will keep strict no contact as you cannot send a text of call without a number to do so! I can appreciate it difficult to do so.

[PachucaSunrise]

It's been nearly 7 months since the breakup and I have finally managed to erase all of the text messages from my phone. 9 months worth of meaningless exchanges, gone. I feel a slight sense of relief and sadness. Has anyone else had any trouble deleting past messages?

 

THIS. IS. AWESOME. Be proud, SO proud of yourself!!!!

 

I've had an awful lot of trouble with this. However, in my situation, I got a new phone and completely forgot to save certain things during the transfer. I had no choice - they were all gone. So upset at first, but what for?! Having those constant reminders was ruining me. But now, as there's nothing I can do about it, no longer having access to those messages was probably one of the best things that could have accidentally happened to me. Someone, somewhere was definitely looking out for me.

 

Now, social media is a whole other ball game. I still haven't erased certain things. I know why I don't want to erase them, and I don't like admitting that to myself, but I know I gotta get it done, for me, so I can finally stop torturing myself. When the time comes and I finally get rid of everything, I think I'm going to throw a party. It's THAT big of a deal to me.

 

The reason I did this was because I kept re-reading his final 2 messages which were very patronising, insulting and upsetting for me. I am still in a LOT of pain and have no self esteem because of the things he said and just the fact he dumped me.

 

I'm sorry to hear this. I know it's tough, but honestly, erasing those messages was THE BEST THING you could have possibly done for yourself. It's sooooo not healthy to re-read that kind of garbage. It does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for you but set you back. I know, I've done it myself. By erasing those messages, you're one step closer to healing. It's a HUGE deal!! I'm happy for you.

 

I was feeling really tempted to text him this past week and have been in tears every morning and actually started writing out texts a few times before deleting them. Spur of moment decision was to delete the texts and pretend he never said those things. I can still vividly recall everything he said word for word (in texts' date=' face to face and on the phone) but hopefully it will fade. I love having a good memory but times like this it really works against you. And I hate that I feel everything so deeply.[/quote']

 

So glad you never sent those texts. EXCELLENT job!! And trust me, I know exactly what it feels like to have those vivid memories - there's no need for me to have saved anything - I remember everything as clear as day - just like you, word for word.

 

"And I hate that I feel everything so deeply."

 

I hear you, loud and clear. But think about this - when the time's right, and you meet that special someone who's actually deserving of remembering every word that comes out of his mouth (and you WILL) - once again, you'll be able to feel THAT deeply about him, and it will be appreciated, and reciprocated, and you'll want to save EVERYTHING, because it makes you feel GOOD, and happy, and LOVED... Not because it tears you apart inside.

 

I am seeing all of his bad points now' date=' and our 'amazing, perfect' date memories and moments are all fading. I know that we really did have a great relationship and that's why it has been difficult to get over. There weren't really any negatives from the relationship to focus on. But during and AFTER the breakup, he handled things really badly. I am finally reaching the ANGER STAGE. FINALLY!!!!![/quote']

 

GOOD! Get angry!! But don't dwell in it. Keep up with the awesome work. You're doing fabulous. Rock on!!

[guest569]

Thanks for the comments. Although I felt relief for a moment when deleting the texts, I thought it would be more effective than this. I am still extremely tempted to contact him. I feel depressed again and like the breakup has just happened. I cant believe or accept it.. I should be a lot further on than this after 7 months.

 

I am so alone and have no friends. I socialize at work but weekends are so tough. I am thinking about going to some meetup groups but its hard when I am too depressed to leave the house and terrified to rock up there on my own with a bunch of people who probably know each other. My "friends" have mostly been hopeless, i understand they are tired of my problems but even when the breakup happened, there was just no support from anyone and i think that would help me kill time a lot more to have people to reach out to other than my ex..

[edgygirl]

There's software that transfer SMS to one file and you can archive it and not look at it until you want to again / are ready. No need to delete one by one messages either.

 

I purge my phone like this from time to time, and mainly after relationships.

 

Still have to archive all emails from this last one though. I came by mistake by our first thread of emails which was so lovely and it made me want to cry.

[guest569]

There's software that transfer SMS to one file and you can archive it and not look at it until you want to again / are ready. No need to delete one by one messages either.

 

It's only been 24 hours but I haven't felt any regret yet. I felt like I was at the stage where I had reflected enough and didn't need to hang onto them anymore. I was mostly re-reading the bad texts which were most recent as it took too much work to scroll back to the nice ones..

 

The thousands of texts suddenly meant nothing to me, and the relationship is starting to mean less. I am a little hurt by the rejection and conclusion of a great relationship, but more so by the words which followed. I still love this guy and can't believe he insulted me like that. It was a bit therapeutic to delete them and feels like I have de-cluttered somewhat. My phone's performance should improve too!

 

And I went straight for 'delete entire thread' in one go.

 

Oh, emails are another story, I am a hoarder. But I haven't looked at those since and am not tempted so they can stay for now. It's tough as at least in my case, the emails were more personal than texts and would probably make me want to cry too..

[guest569]

I know just how you feel. I finally deleted the text messages from my ex the other day. As silly as it sounds, that really is a big step-emotionally.

 

I've had an awful lot of trouble with this. However, in my situation, I got a new phone and completely forgot to save certain things during the transfer. I had no choice - they were all gone. So upset at first, but what for?! Having those constant reminders was ruining me.

 

It is a big step. For some, this comes a lot easier but I think others, myself included, really treasure every bit of communication during the relationship. And when it's over, treasuring every remnant of the relationship. All I have left of our relationship is a few photos, a gift and some emails (they're not a problem for me, I am not going to delete them cause that would mean going into the folder and being tempted to read them, maybe in a couple of years time when I can be bothered). It's almost like he wasn't even there, I can't believe it is over just like that.

 

I am becoming less of a communication hoarder now though. I am trying to be tougher and care less about such things but we'll see..

 

GOOD! Get angry!! But don't dwell in it. Keep up with the awesome work. You're doing fabulous. Rock on!!

 

Thanks so much for your support It means a lot.

 

And thanks everyone, it's great hearing from others who are in or have been in the same boat.