Jump to content

How to get over a FWB relationship (men.. throw me a bone)??


Recommended Posts

About 2 years ago I dated a man .. needless to say, it didn't work out. We have remained good friends, still hang out from time to time and on occasion have had a FWB situation. The past few months we had been hanging out quite a bit, going to dinner.. having drinks... watching movies at his place.. and an occasional over night stay. We have fun.. laugh and tell stupid jokes.

 

Two days ago he told me he had a date the night before with someone new he met via online dating and would probably have another after I had messaged him for a little fun. We ended up having a little fun (nothing too serious) and hung out for a little while. He then told me he felt bad because of new girl. Even though they had only met once the night before. How do I break this cycle? What do I do? I really like him and always have but don't want to destroy the friendship. He's really a good guy.

 

Can a man have a relationship like this with a woman without having at least a little bit of feelings? I know I can't. Is there any chance whatsoever things could change in the future?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs and remove duplicate thread
Link to post
Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix

No. Once you are a friend with benefits, you aren't getting out of it. You have a better shot of winning the World Series of Poker than you do of having this man regard you as a romantic partner, especially when you are currently sleeping with him.

 

There's no reason for him to entertain a romantic relationship with you. He gets his fulfillment without it.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Cut the core now because you are going to feel like crap if that new girl becomes his girlfriend.

 

I try to have a friend with benefit with an ex.

He said the same exact thing to Me. Telling me he felt guilty and felt like he was cheating when they had only been on one date.

Link to post
Share on other sites
About 2 years ago I dated a man .. needless to say, it didn't work out. We have remained good friends, still hang out from time to time and on occasion have had a FWB situation. The past few months we had been hanging out quite a bit, going to dinner.. having drinks... watching movies at his place.. and an occasional over night stay. We have fun.. laugh and tell stupid jokes.

 

Two days ago he told me he had a date the night before with someone new he met via online dating and would probably have another after I had messaged him for a little fun. We ended up having a little fun (nothing too serious) and hung out for a little while. He then told me he felt bad because of new girl. Even though they had only met once the night before. How do I break this cycle? What do I do? I really like him and always have but don't want to destroy the friendship. He's really a good guy.

 

Can a man have a relationship like this with a woman without having at least a little bit of feelings? I know I can't. Is there any chance whatsoever things could change in the future?

This is why I think FWB situations stink. because there is always, but always, one person more emotionally invested than the other.

He's found someone he likes enough to want to be with. That, effectively, kicks you to the kerb. And I hate to say it but: Suck it up and move on.

He's chosen her over you. That's why he felt guilty. He wants to make a go of it with her, and you are an impediment, which is why this has to stop. And you have to completely distance yourself and fall off his radar and not contact him again.

That is the supposed point of an FWB relationship. It's fun, and fun while it lasts. He's now moved on to a different level. And you have no step-up.

Cut the ties, and go your own way. That won't include him.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
theexfiance
This is why I think FWB situations stink. because there is always, but always, one person more emotionally invested than the other.

He's found someone he likes enough to want to be with. That, effectively, kicks you to the kerb. And I hate to say it but: Suck it up and move on.

He's chosen her over you. That's why he felt guilty. He wants to make a go of it with her, and you are an impediment, which is why this has to stop. And you have to completely distance yourself and fall off his radar and not contact him again.

That is the supposed point of an FWB relationship. It's fun, and fun while it lasts. He's now moved on to a different level. And you have no step-up.

Cut the ties, and go your own way. That won't include him.

 

Out of all of the responses you've received, this one is the most true.

 

However, without engendering too much false hope, I'd like to give you a man's perspective:

 

I've had a few FWB over the years and I consider myself to be a good guy. However, from my point of view, being the good guy generally means going with what the girl is comfortable with. I dunno about your guy, but I was taught to be respectful of what a woman wants and only work with going as far as she's willing to go, in the format of her choosing.

 

In other words: I was cool with being FWB so long as she was and I was never compelled to go into a relationship unless they brought it up. I mean really...why bother? It's fun, there's no ties, both people seem happy...**** gets heavy once people start dating. In my experience it's downhill from there.

 

BUT! I will say that 50% of the time when a FWB expressed that she was into me and wanted more, I initially had a very hard time wanting to take that step, but if I cared about her enough as a friend I would usually give it a shot. Of course, that's just me.

 

But if you really want to try to be more with this guy, I say express it. Worst case scenario is he doesn't feel the same and your either right back where you started or you lose a FWB. Big deal.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...