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Some days worse than others ?


pappa k

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I always think about and miss my ex but it seems like today was worse than any other day this month. I don't know if it is just part of the coping process or if I'm not coping right

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I think so personal.

I think it depends on what you do with your day.

There are days when my ex does not cross my mind.

There are days when I miss my ex badly.

Even on busy days, or slow days... Just all depends.

Your mind & heart is trying to accept that you are over... Reality is settling in.

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It's just a normal part of healing :) I broke up 4 months ago, there are days I felt totally great, and days where I just want to curl up and cry. Yesterday was a down day...It's up and down all the time, but gradually, there will be more up and less down days. Just believe that :p

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2 bad days in a row. The past few weeks have felt like the first couple weeks after we broke up

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artsygirl78

Unfortunately real grief comes in phases and waves - I am going through the exact same thing myself. 2 months post breakup, 5 weeks NC, had a few strong days, could "feel myself moving forward", and today has been an absolute nightmare of missing my ex terribly, panicking, regretting the choices I made and wishing he would come back to me, like I just broke up with him. Everyone around me is telling me this is normal, and to just take baby steps. Some days will be better than others, some will be absolutely devastating, and as time goes on, the good days will connect more often until you are in a place where you have real distance from your ex. Hang in there.

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Pappa K, I'm with you in this case. Also just had 2 very bad days, crying one hour before exhausting myself into sleep. But I also know that, it's not that I'm coping wrongly or weakly, it's just part of the healing process. You can not rush with healing, it doesn't happen overnight, or for some, after a few months.

About feeling stuck, oh believe me, I feel stuck all the time after the breakup :p But then, I just stop thinking and enjoy the now. Cut the thinking flow, feeling the things around you as they are. Smell, see, hear, just don't think (too much). I even created an imaginary broom in my mind, and whenever I'm heading to negative thoughts, I just thought "sweep them away" and try to switch to positive or fun things instead, like "I wanna try that new coffee bar", "maybe I can hang out with ABC this week", "there's a new book I wanna buy"....etc Sometimes it worked, sometimes not, but I think I need to do something to unstuck myself. I don't wanna be stuck, but no one can help me unstuck myself but me. And by unstucking myself, I feel like I gain more strength :) Sorry for the long blah, but I really wish it helps.

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For me it seems like nothing is getting better. I feel stuck

 

Been feeling like that too, and I been having seen nice happy days too.

Sucks. :( I wish everyday was a happy day.

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Pappa K, I'm with you in this case. Also just had 2 very bad days, crying one hour before exhausting myself into sleep. But I also know that, it's not that I'm coping wrongly or weakly, it's just part of the healing process. You can not rush with healing, it doesn't happen overnight, or for some, after a few months.

About feeling stuck, oh believe me, I feel stuck all the time after the breakup :p But then, I just stop thinking and enjoy the now. Cut the thinking flow, feeling the things around you as they are. Smell, see, hear, just don't think (too much). I even created an imaginary broom in my mind, and whenever I'm heading to negative thoughts, I just thought "sweep them away" and try to switch to positive or fun things instead, like "I wanna try that new coffee bar", "maybe I can hang out with ABC this week", "there's a new book I wanna buy"....etc Sometimes it worked, sometimes not, but I think I need to do something to unstuck myself. I don't wanna be stuck, but no one can help me unstuck myself but me. And by unstucking myself, I feel like I gain more strength :) Sorry for the long blah, but I really wish it helps.

 

I'm not really enjoying anything anymore. I just feel like nothing I will do will make me feel better . I want to move on and be happy and see other people. But I feel like it's not going to happen.

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All of your feelings are completely normal. Try not to worry about it.

 

I've been broken up from my ex fiancée for around 9 months. There were many, many days where I would feel like I was in a slump. You just have to give yourself some time to adapt.

 

One thing I will say is you MUST keep believing in yourself and love. One day it will happen again, but there is no rush. This is the time to make time for YOU.

 

Do everything and anything you feel like. You want a day in your pj's in front of the TV? Do it. If you want to go see a movie, do it. If you want to make yourself look and feel your best do a little exercise, that really does work I promise you.

 

Buy yourself some nice things. It could be anything... heck even a cupcake can add a little pleasure to your day!

 

Just take your time and focus on what you want. Some times you can have really good days and then for no reason BOOM! The misery bites you in the ass out of nowhere. It's a rollercoaster you have to just ride through.

Edited by True Gent
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your feelings are right sized. just know that you have to feel it in order to heal it. lean into this, learn, grow

 

meditation really helps. we get so busy trying to "move on" and "get over it" that we forget to just sit and be with this. acceptance is a dark, quiet room.

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Yep, some days a lot worse than others. The tough days are just when there isn't much going on. Also when I go out with one of my friend couples and see how they are and then see other couples together is hard. Always wondering if I'll have that again with someone.

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supportlove

I feel your struggles. The same here. Three weeks after breaking up. I finally can concentrate on my work and bring smiles back on my face. I just had a busy day today at work. It felt alright during the day. But, it hits me again on my way back home. It's not sad, confused, or lost anymore. Just simply miss him. Miss his smiles, jokes, etc. Quite peaceful actually. I guess a relationship could die easily but love is way harder to kill.

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JustSomeGuyHere

I feel the same way. Sometimes I worry that it will never go away. Then I remember that I've been through this before with other girls and eventually it ALWAYS gets better.

 

Just the fact that some days are better than others shows you that things are actually improving.

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The majority of my days are upbeat. This is just a hard month in particular. I won't go into detail but it's a really bitter sweet month for me. Therefore, I have been remembering things about my previous RS that I thought I'd forgotten or blocked out, rather.

 

But I'm fu cking titanium so nothing really phases me anymore.

 

Good luck to you!

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I'm not really enjoying anything anymore. I just feel like nothing I will do will make me feel better . I want to move on and be happy and see other people. But I feel like it's not going to happen.

 

I can't really offer the support that other are because I'm in the same spot as you. Reading your comments in this thread, I can mirror all of them with how I'm coping (or not coping), so at least take solace in the fact that others have a similar coping process/mentality post-breakup.

 

I'm not even to the point of having good days, it's been 4 months for me and they are pretty much all bad, her/the breakup/missing her are about 80% of my mental time per day, I can zone out here and there but never for very long, even while socializing. If you have good days you are further along than me, which shows progress in general.

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