Mrblonde89 Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 The past two months have been awful. I feel like I'm never going to be able to move on and find someone. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. All I do is drink now that I'm single. I don't want to be alone for the rest of this year . I feel like I'll never find anyone as special as my ex 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Well I feel the same. There must be something we all think at one point in our lives if that makes you feel any better. My life's been a misery and i see no future but I keep moving and doing things like a robot because it's my only alternative. I've been one month no contact after almost 2 years in a toxic relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 in the beginning the pain is acute. The drinking isn't helping. Alcohol is a depressant. If you wanted to take one weekend & get drunk to drown your sorrows, OK fine. Not the best coping technique but it's done. Two months.. . . put the bottle down & step away from the glass. What are you doing besides drinking? Have you changed up your routine? If no, do so. Take a different route to work. Re-arrange your living space. Cut your hair. Start working out. Join a group that does something you care about it. Just keep yourself moving so you don't have time to wallow. As the days pass, the pain will lessen. Then you can pick up the pieces. You will find somebody Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 The past two months have been awful. I feel like I'm never going to be able to move on and find someone. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. All I do is drink now that I'm single. I don't want to be alone for the rest of this year . I feel like I'll never find anyone as special as my ex You are your own worst enemy. Two months into your ending. Your wounds are still very raw. It's normal that you still feel hurt but try to stop with the defeatist mindset. Small steps. Concentrate on moving on -- as in gaining emotional freedom. One baby step at a time. NOT - I will never find someone so I'll just grow old and die alone. "I don't want to be alone for the rest of the year." How about, "I want to be at peace with myself and feeling much better about life by the end of the year." You need to stop depending on someone else to fulfill your life, and that is what you sound like. How about quit the drinking and start focusing on working on yourself internally. Go to the gym and start working out. Start a class. Join a meetup and get involved in some healthy activities. Do something instead of drowning in drink and self-pity. And, "never" isn't real. If you want to wallow, say to yourself, "For now, I'm alone and but it won't always be this way." That sounds more realistic. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrblonde89 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 I was going to the gym for a while but I suddenly lost the urge to try to better myself. I have a problem with alcohol I should quit but can't and all my friends are alcoholics too so it makes it harder. Sometimes having a few beers after work helps me feel better but other times when I drink 12 plus I start to feel worse. My relationship ended because my drinking Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Mrblonde Have you tried AA? Have you considered a 28 day in patient program? At the very least have you tried to have one day per week where you don't drink? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 I was going to the gym for a while but I suddenly lost the urge to try to better myself. I have a problem with alcohol I should quit but can't and all my friends are alcoholics too so it makes it harder. Sometimes having a few beers after work helps me feel better but other times when I drink 12 plus I start to feel worse. My relationship ended because my drinking Maybe AA is your next step. You can't sit around and expect change to happen when you place no responsibility on yourself to make those changes. As far as I know, alcohol is a depressant. Yes, for a bit you're on a high and then you crash. If you know you have a problem, do something about it. Start researching. Alcoholics Anonymous Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrblonde89 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 I've gone weeks and even a month with out drinking. I just hurt and want to be over her and move on with life. Meet someone new who loves me Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Meeting a new quality person will be easier to do sober. If you meet somebody while you are both drinking, odds are you will just spiral downward together. What are you doing for recreation when you aren't out partying? Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 If you want to find someone who loves you, you first need to be healthy otherwise you'll find a broken soul. Advice given is really good. Quit Drinking AND Start Going To The gym. find other friends. Just do something different this time. You need to start healing now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrblonde89 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 The only thing I really do is hangout with my daughter and I don't drink with her around. I guess the reason I go to the bars to look for women is I met my ex there and we almost got married. I guess I was hoping lightning would strike twice Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrblonde89 Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 Also can't do no contact because our child but I don't talk to her on days where I don't have the kid . The only time I contact her is if I can't get our kid or to remind her I;m picking up our kid Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 There's a group called Parents without Partners. Check that out. It's a way to meet other single parents & since your daughter can be around it will keep you from drinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrblonde89 Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 There isn't one of those groups near me. I'm not happy drunk I know that much but I'm also not very happy sober . Link to post Share on other sites
love1336x Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Oh course you won't find somebody who is like your ex. Why would you want too? The love you had with him will always be special. No dude can replaced him. You'll see in time. You will feel better. But you can't keep being stuck in the past. You'll never know what's out there until you let go. It's scary. Its sad. Its harsh, but life does go on whether you want to move on or not. Link to post Share on other sites
pappa k Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I know that I want to move on and be happy again. My ex has a rebound boyfriend or just a normal one. I just don't see why I can't have either Link to post Share on other sites
Michael 93 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I think a rebound girlfriend is the wrong thing to do. This could hurt somebody else just the same as you have been hurt and do you really want to put someone through that? After knowing how it feels You must both go into this aware of how the other person feels. If it is just sex that you want then you must both know that is what it is going to be. If you are wanting to get into a relationship with this person you must ensure that you are in the right place. Many people tend to latch onto someone after a relationship has ended and jump in head first. This is not the right thing to do, and after a while of meeting with the person you will know that within yourself. The only thing I must say is be honest with yourself and the other person. They do not deserve to be hurt and if they are aware of this from the start then you will be OK. Casual sex is fine. I have broke that rule a few times since.. and it always makes me feel better for a couple of weeks lol. All the best Mike Link to post Share on other sites
pappa k Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I don't even have anyone particular in mind. I just want to move on and be happy with someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
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