Going NC is so hard [update]

[Justaguy30]

For me my relationship was everything that I had ever wanted. A beautiful woman who had two amazing children that are extremely intelligent and the promise of a future with people that would always love me or so I thought. Letting go of all of that at 30 is very hard. She did horrible things, nasty things, lied to my face for a long time about what she was doing. When it comes down to it she just doesn't love me and surely not like I love her.

 

At the end of the relationship I was holding on so tight I am sure I looked absolutely pathetic and it truly was. I just missed my life so much and her.... I loved her. The other day she made contact with me crying and saying she missed me and wanted me to come over. I met with her and she just told me the same old story I had heard before, I never cheated and I can't be with you if you can't believe that. If I had listened to that and accepted pure bull **** we may have made up that night. The thing is I would have been accepting a lie and she would have just done the same thing to me that she did before which is knowingly rip me apart piece by piece like a sick murderer pulling off pieces and watching someone slowly die from loss of blood.

 

I could tell she really missed me a lot by the way she kissed my neck when I hugged her or when she touched my long hair the way she used too. I missed her touch very much but it wasn't real. She had most likely broken up with her current boyfriend or rather he broke up with her and for that moment in time she cared about me and really missed me but it was only for the evening. At first I really regretted not making things happen and just listening too her which was one of the failures of our relationship. I would never just listen to what she had to say but it was normally a bunch of bull **** and I can't just sit there and listen to BS.

 

Anyhow laying here now a part of me is really sad that its over and I didn't take the chance to see where it could go if we got back together but its over and it will always be over. She ignored me for months and cheated on me with tons of people so how could I live with that. I couldn't. I guess now is the time I just accept that its over and that ill never hear her sweet voice again, I love her voice by the way which might sound creepy but I heard it everyday for so long.

 

Anyhow its just hard giving up everything you wanted so badly but today is the day. I am never going to speak to her again and a part of me is happy about that.

Edited June 26, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[triniechu]

I feel your pain. My ex broke up with me and said he doesn't love me the same, loves me more like a friend. That was like a knife through my heart. It's been 3 weeks now since we've been NC...I actually thought I was ok this week and NOPE!! Laid in bed thinking of him, missing him and then I started to cry.

 

We both had our flaws but we were so happy and perfect for each other. But it just didn't workout. I always wish he didn't let me go so easily and that's what hurt the most. He always said he'd travel to hell and back for me...but he gave up. I miss him so much.

[Justaguy30]

Just stay strong, things will get better. Its been almost 4 months since my ex and I split and I won't lie, sometimes I come home and cry because I miss her and I am a big strong man haha 6'2" 220 crying like a baby for half an hour. Loss is a powerful thing, sometimes it feels like someone has actually died.

[Justaguy30]

Just remember that you deserve someone that will always be there for you and will never walk away from you. Someone who loves you as much as you love them. He wasn't the right one but you will find him. Loyal people are hard to come by.

[triniechu]

You are so right about that. He'll find me someday. I just really thought it was him and it wasn't. I wanted it so much to be him. But you're right I need to stay strong. I mean I was fine a few days ago. But there a just times when I come home and I just wish I could hear his voice again. Yeah I cried for a good 30 mins today. *sigh*

[Justaguy30]

With time comes healing, a beautiful girl like you shouldn't have too much trouble finding someone new. I know how hard it is to find the complete package. True love is very very hard to come by.

[Justaguy30]

I felt the same way about her letting me go so easily. It seemed like she could really care less about me. As if I was just some friend she had that needed to get over loving her so we could be friends again. It was very painful because to me when you love someone that much you don't just stop loving them like that. When she came over and talked to me she told me that holidays were very hard for her without me and not being able to do all the things we had planned on doing makes her cry sometimes which I find hard to believe because she could have had me there for all of those things but choose to spend them with someone else. What hurts the most to me is that she doesn't care. I was there for her everyday and she was barely ever there for me and she would always accuse me of walking away when I would try and leave her but I never did it and then she left me and instantly went NC which really hurt.

[Justaguy30]

Its hard when you want someone so badly that doesn't want you. I have never been on this side of a breakup before. I am normally the one to break it off and even then I have been shattered but this one is totally different. It has literally ruined my entire world. She is such a bitch she got a no stalking order because I came by twice to get my stuff back and finally got fed up and called the cops. Then the next day I got paperwork. It was so hurtful and then she posted a picture of her holding the order on facebook with the headline "I have a stalker" who would do that. I still haven't gotten my stuff back. Last we spoke she said she wished she could drop the PAS order so she could drop my stuff off and not just have to leave it at my door?????? First off it wasn't stalking and second what right does she have to decide when its alright to return my things? Does this not sound like very distorted thinking? I lived there for a long time! I should have been able to just move my things out like every other person in the world. Then she is all upset and worried about me..... Like maybe if you were not a total bitch things would have gone better.

[Hello201]

guys she dumped me on may 19 "wanted to be alone " etc etc i found the truth out , she came to my work last monday , she looked old , tired no make up etc (she had tried to ring me 6 times over the sat and sun blocking works) , so thats why i spose she came to my work , my friends know the truth she actually said they are not together she is alone !!! i said you told him you loved him so it doesnt matter if you are waiting etc

 

god it hurt to see her id not seen her since may the 12th , but strangly enough it helped me to see the mess she was in , i told herr if she had said to me she wanted to wait i would have waited for ever

 

if its any help i dont cry any more , i feel sorry for her because for the time we were togerther we were amazing and best friends , what changed well ? only she really knows why she did and said what she did.

 

she then txts me again saying if i need to talk about it to contact her i dont need to deal with it alone !!!!!!! no contact no reply

 

she also said we still have conversations in her head , how was your day, do you remember when we did this !!!!! tough love cos you had the real thing i gave you everything never agin be alone and live with your guilt

 

 

 

stay strong ppl you deserve better and you will find it

[No Limit]

No offense but I think you - and many others - are just making it hard for yourself. Much harder than it has to be.

 

Stop glorifying her. She's a treacherous cheater and manipulative liar, so concerning these traits there are many females walking this planet who are better than her. (Just to look at the basic stuff.) ANd if you're the vindictive type, personalities like those are going to get back at them, so don't try to start drama, just live on.

 

I could try to visit you and tell you how much I love you as well. Anyone can, even your neighbor. And it'd probably have more truth to it coming from a stranger than your ex.

Edited June 28, 2014 by No Limit

[Justaguy30]

I did start some drama and she got back at me. She went around and screwed a bunch of my friends to make sure we were not longer friends which really sucked because not only did I lose her but I lost a good portion of the people in my life. She is pure evil and it was nice that she said sorry but with that apologizing came the same lies I had heard so many times. I never cheated on you... That doesn't even matter and she knows she was horrible to me so that in it self is a slap in the face. She sat there and told me she had not slept with anyone else since we broke up and wasn't dating anyone which I know is BS. Then she asked me " Is my vagina loose, you have been in there" I was like WTF are you talking about. We have not had sex in 4 months or more and how would I know if you vagina is loose now or not. She was wondering if men didn't want to date her because she might be loose. Well I am sure it has a lot more to do with the fact that she sleeps with everyone and lies. Men don't like that.

[Justaguy30]

The thing with this girl is that she will never not have a backup plan. If someone dumps her she has another 15 guys to choose from that will make her feel happy and bang her or what ever. The piece that she is missing is that true love only comes around so often and what we had was true love that could have lasted forever. I would have never left her side and she will be very hard pressed to find a man that is willing to take on the role as a full time father to someone else's children and do everything for her. She realized that and missed me but she can't have me back and she will live with that the rest of her life.

[No Limit]

The thing with this girl is that she will never not have a backup plan.

 

Big red flag. This is the type of girl every man should keep 5 meters of distance from. Additionally the part about your friends confirms that.

 

And that question about her vagina... if she let's every man check her vagina out looseness is the last thing she should worry about. She should start to study everything about STDs and get monthly tested.

[somegoodman]

Any halfway attractive woman is going to have plenty of options in the dating market. That is exactly why women have an easier time getting over their relationships, there's always an army of potential suitors waiting in the background, not to mention her vast network of girl buddies, girl frenemies, and guyfriends that wish they were ****ing her.

 

 

Men often end up utterly alone after a girl leaves them, which obviously will rend your soul and make it very difficult to move on. It isn't your fault that your ex is doing this, she is just following her biological script. It is important that you cultivate many options when it comes to women. That way when one decides to fly the coop you don't find yourself holding a bag of ****. Easier said then done, as women usually just have to show up and there's a sea of men ready to court her. Men have to put in the work, so don't waste it all on one girl only to wake up one day and realize she never appreciated any of it.

[Justaguy30]

This woman was the worst girlfriend I have ever had and I just miss her so much. I loved her more than anything and its hard to let that go. I am doing much better but still long for her smile.

[leavesonautumn]

I'm sorry that you are feeling so much pain. I've noticed you posting a few times in the "post here instead of contacting your ex thread". I'm at month 5 and it seems like I'm right back at the first month even though I've had my good months! Just have to keep living each day to the fullest

[Justaguy30]

I am really bad at no contact, its funny because I have dated a lot of people and normally when we break up I don't want to be in contact at all. I am just kinda over it. This time was much different. I guess I actually loved someone for once in my life. I still find myself wanting to talk to her but WTF would we talk about? How she is dating someone else and in love or who knows. Every time we have talked she won't tell me anything about the kids which is really what I wanna know. Its just retarded

[Michael 93]

When you get flamed enough. You wont need to implement NC, you will WANT too.

 

It's not difficult it just depends on how much you've been shot to pieces before you think 'enough is enough'

[Justaguy30]

She absolutely destroyed me! I mean badly and then went around telling everyone I was crazy after she made sure to just rip my mind and soul to shreds. She is a very evil woman in that regard but I think she only did it because she felt hurt. Either way not someone I would ever date again but I do very much wish that I would still spend time with her kids although that would be kind of weird I guess.