Loveisonlyformovies Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 The last two months have been messy. I spent 22 hours at the crazy house (despite what most on here believe, my mental health is considered alright). I cut contact with my mum and siblings 1.5 months ago and now I'm living with my dad who has denied my existence the past 5 years. I've studied like crazy, gotten good grades and now I've only got three courses left and then I can go to college. I haven't initiated contact with my ex for six months (proud of that). I've accepted the fact that the only guys who care to talk to me only wants to get laid. I'm clearly not good enough to be girlfriend material and I've come to peace with the idea of living my life alone and only focus on school and career instead of getting used. The last argue with my ex was more than two months ago and it was the most terrible and hurtful one. "My girlfriend makes me happier than you ever have" really broke my heart all over again. Anyway he blocked me after telling me to never try to contact him again or even think of him. My life started to go well. Now I've noticed that he has unblocked me again. Every time he has before, we've gotten into argues and he hurts me even more. If he badly wants no contact with me, why giving me the opportunity all of a sudden? He has been silent yet, have a feeling he'll tell me they are getting married or having a baby. He seems to love hurting only me because he always come back for more. But last argue was different.. Did he unblock me because I'm a nobody now? Or because he wants to mess up my life again or, highly unlikely, that I could still win him back? (Hating myself for still loving him) Since he unblocked me I have just been laying in bed. Can't study anymore... don't understand why he's not talking... is the devil back to play? How to stop wanting this miserable man? Link to post Share on other sites
RuralMama Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 I think it is time to move on. If he blocked you, than he made a choice. You need to make a choice. School and college are more important than wondering what his thoughts are. You probably already know that because you said your life started to go well when he blocked you. I am sorry for your struggles. Here is an article that might help:Is it unwise to keep in touch with my ex-boyfriend? Hugs! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 But why unblocking me and make my life a he'll again then? Moving on is only possible when he gets what he deserves... Link to post Share on other sites
Always Pondering Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 The reasons for him unblocking you could vary but it doesn't matter to be honest. He blocked/argued with you, broke your heart, and clearly doesn't seem interested anymore. Take this chance and look at it on the bright side. Now's your opportunity for you to block him instead. Block him, keep him blocked, and don't unblock him until this is all done and over. Forget about revenge and all that if that's what you're interested in, living your life to the fullest is the best revenge. Block him, continue with your NC, disconnect him completely from your life, and move on. It'll be worth it I promise! You have still yet to go to college right? If so, you're very young and you have plenty of time (now and in the future) to find your significant other. Anyway he blocked me after telling me to never try to contact him again or even think of him. My life started to go well. This guy clearly does nothing for your life except bring you misery. Just stick with NC, I promise you that if you do it right, you'll get over it without a doubt. You'll love someone else and that someone else will love you even more. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 If you love him, really love him, your need for revenge will fade. You will want the best for him. Go NC and hold on for the long run...it doesn't matter why he unblocked you... really, it just doesn't matter...when we hurt like this, we try to find a reason for everything. ANd while there may be a meaning, it is irrelevant. You are want is important now... I have tried NC a dozen times, it is hard since we work together. But, there is no excuse, I just keep hurting myself... don't put yourself in my position...please 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Justaguy30 Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 It sounds to me like he really enjoys hurting you, my ex is the same way. She only really likes hurting me because for some reason it makes her feel better. Anyhow I went through a similar situation. We broke up, she blocked me on FB and then a few weeks later unblocked me and added me as a friend. I was like oh maybe she wants to make things right, nope. She just wanted to hurt me again. This happened a few times. Don't take the bait. Block him and never talk to him again. As for you saying its not over until he gets what he deserves. He will get what he deserves and that is you no longer paying any attention to his nonsense and hurtful ways. The best payback is you living a healthy positive life without him. Also I am sure you are GF material you just have to find the right guy. Don't be quick to sleep with anyone and if the guy doesn't want to spend time with you because you are not screwing him then he isn't the right guy for you. Hope that helps 3 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 The right thing to do in your situation is TO BLOCK him but i know you won't because you still love him. I'm in the exact situation, my ex unblocked me after 6 months of NC but she doesnt talk to me and I dont talk to her. What hurts the most is the fact that a ton of posts and photos disappeared on my FB page..... It's so tempting to send her a message but I wont because I'll get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Justaguy30 Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 No matter how much you still care about him or love it.... Its over. Blocking him and not being able to be in contact will actually help you a lot, trust me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
emeryentropy Posted June 21, 2014 Share Posted June 21, 2014 I haven't initiated contact with my ex for six months (proud of that). I've accepted the fact that the only guys who care to talk to me only wants to get laid. I'm clearly not good enough to be girlfriend material and I've come to peace with the idea of living my life alone and only focus on school and career instead of getting used. I know you are feeling that way but it is NOT true. You are girlfriend material and you shouldn't feel so defeated, just because others fail to realize that. It is depressing I know when you know you are gf material but men only want a quick lay but that's just how things are. It won't be that way forever, and it's worth waiting and holding onto yourself for somebody who appreciate that. I'm at the same phase as you to where I am making my best efforts to focus on school first and anything else second. . it really bothers me that I haven't found somebody who can let me pour all this built up affection into them but it's better to save that then to give it to losers who will throw it away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 He decided to talk to me two days ago. He apologised for the mean things he said and we continued talking... he's the only one who can get me to smile like that and I hate myself for still wanting him :/ I just found out his gf is abroad. Suddenly it all makes sense. He's talking to me because he's bored and not because he's genuinely sorry and misses me... he's happier than ever and will never be as unhappy as ge deserves :/ My heart just broke all over again and I don't know what to do nc solved nothing. He's happy, I'm not... He makes me wish I was dead :/ what to do? I'll never find someone like him and he'll never think I'm good enough Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 He decided to talk to me two days ago. He apologised for the mean things he said and we continued talking... he's the only one who can get me to smile like that and I hate myself for still wanting him :/ I just found out his gf is abroad. Suddenly it all makes sense. He's talking to me because he's bored and not because he's genuinely sorry and misses me... he's happier than ever and will never be as unhappy as ge deserves :/ My heart just broke all over again and I don't know what to do nc solved nothing. He's happy, I'm not... He makes me wish I was dead :/ what to do? I'll never find someone like him and he'll never think I'm good enough Should have done what some suggested on here and that is block his number and block him everywhere you can. Yes, he might just be lonely because she's not there. You are a fall back. I have blocked my ex that dumped me as people on her and friends convinced me that she might try to call again down the road after I've moved on and it will set me back again. The only reason for the calls are selfish and only for themselves and have nothing to do with wanting to get back with you. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I'm clearly not good enough to be girlfriend material and I've come to peace with the idea of living my life alone and only focus on school and career instead of getting used. He seems to love hurting only me because he always come back for more. These two statements stood out to me the most. I want you to take a step back for a moment, and honestly try to subjectively read these two statements (as though they were written by a stranger) and tell me what you come up with. To me, the answer is clear. You obviously see yourself negatively. Considering yourself 'not girlfriend material' and 'trying to get used to living your life alone' are not positive thoughts, nor are very productive (but that's just my personal opinion). Your ex loves hurting you, because you allow him to. When a person feels and thinks of themselves in such a negative state, they allow negative energy in. They feel as though the negative energy they are receiving is why they are the way they are, when in reality, the negative energy they receive is the result of them already seeing themselves in a bad way. I've gone through the motions you are going through yourself, and I have tons (and I mean TONS) of threads to prove it. And after years of contemplating over the same things you, yourself, are contemplating, i've come to the conclusion that this unnecessary cycle of negative energy i'm consumed with can only be stopped when I decide it's time. Only you can put a stop to the tornado of negative energy. Only you can become the reason why he doesn't hurt you anymore. And most of all, only you can be the reason why you no longer consider yourself a 'victim' of abuse. You cannot abuse yourself and expect others not to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 No contact didn't make me feel better though as I just can't get over him. And that negative view of me isn't mine, it's what others have told me :/ Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 No contact didn't make me feel better though as I just can't get over him. And that negative view of me isn't mine, it's what others have told me :/ 'Can't' is a negative word. And when you've decided that you 'can't' do something, you stop trying. I had that same mind set when things seemed too hard. I understand how difficult it is to keep working towards something that seems as though it will never get better... but if everyone stopped trying, then this site would be useless. No one would get better. There would be no progression. If you were to ask anyone on here who has gotten over a breakup whether or not they felt as though they couldn't do it, I bet you'd get a resounding YES from every single person. But they never gave up. And neither should you. Right now, I only see you having 2 options. The first one is to continue thinking that you can't, and you make no effort to get out of that mindset and move forward, or you decide to act. And try to get out of this rut. You can't see the sunrise without waking up. If you really don't see yourself as negatively as you've stated, then 'can't' wouldn't be an issue right now. If I listened to everyone who told me that I was this or that, I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be true to myself. And if you aren't true to yourself, then you will be miserable. I know this feels like you'll never get out of this rut, but you are the only person standing in your way. We can give you advice until we are blue in the face, but if you don't ever take the actions towards progressing, then you will remain in the same situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 I'm not standing in my own way. I tried for two years and was positive about it. Nothing good came out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 I'm not standing in my own way. I tried for two years and was positive about it. Nothing good came out of it. And what good is coming out of this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted July 31, 2014 Author Share Posted July 31, 2014 Coming out of what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 So he is back in touch since a month back and he actually started off with an apology.. Sadly I'm still very much in love with him and would do anything to get him back. It's really painful that he's still with that other girl Does anyone please know how to win an ex back when he has been with someone else for 1.5 years? :/ I know what broke us apart last time and it won't occur again and I really want a new chance to make him happy :/ Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 I strongly suggest therapy if it hasn't already. You need to move forward with your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 I'm in therapy already. I'm just rather dead than living a life where he's with her... Link to post Share on other sites
Sixandout Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 Take control of the situation- block him! Regain the power. Wish you well! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 Thanks :/ but blocking him won't make him want me back... Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 Thanks :/ but blocking him won't make him want me back... There's nothing that will make him want you back to be honest. At least nothing you can do. You want to trick this guy into feeling something for you. That's not going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 I don't wanna trick him into anything. I just genuinely believe that he wouldn't have left if he had met me. If I can never be good enough for him then I at least want to revenge.. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 You are indulging in pain and agony. Understand that there is more to life than that. You don't need to regress to something that you have already lived and experienced. It's filled with pain, you can do better than that. You will come out of this a new and improved you as long as you set the effort forth and understand that you don't have to be stuck like you have been for so long. Link to post Share on other sites
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