Derpderpleton Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 If you dumped your boyfriend over a year ago, been with a few guys over that time period, and are now in a relationship; would you still be upset if one of your good friends tried to get with him? Link to post Share on other sites
JahnJahn Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 If you are the boyfriend then she should have no rule on who you date. If she is upset or not its down to her. If you are the girl who dumped her boyfriend, same applies IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I'd be furious at her if she went behind my back. If she came to me, told me she liked him was upfront about it, I might dish about why we broke up, I'd probably not be happy but it would be way better than if I found out later. Then I would probably end up causing drama, more with her then him. If he's out of my life, who cares what he does? If she's my friend, she shouldn't do this. Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 If you dumped him, why do you care at all? you could warn tghe friend if the ex is crazy, otherwise, you dumped him. you already hurt him. Let him find some happiness in his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I'd be furious at her if she went behind my back. If she came to me, told me she liked him was upfront about it, I might dish about why we broke up, I'd probably not be happy but it would be way better than if I found out later. Then I would probably end up causing drama, more with her then him. If he's out of my life, who cares what he does? If she's my friend, she shouldn't do this. There's no logic here. We van observe this behavior in children on a daily basis. Child finds a toy they like, the play with it FOREVER, they get bored with it and set it down. Another kid comes along and wants to play with it, and all hell breaks loose. If he isn't in your life anymore, why does your friend have to ask your permission to go after him? I don't understand how it would be going behind your back, especially if you and him don't talk, haven't heard from each other in years, etc. Maybe its just the way I'm reading it, but it almost sounds like you expect her to ask for your blessing , and if she doesn't , its some kind of betrayal. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Keenly -- I never said it was logical. The OP asked how I'd feel. Feelings aren't always logical. The Q also involved a good friend. The lifelong bond I have with the select few women I consider good friends transcends a lot, especially men. Some of it stems back to childhood promises about staying away form each other's guys, even guys one just liked even if the guy wasn't interested. Some of it would also depend on how & why the romantic relationship ended If the guy really hurt me, I would be so upset that a good friend thought it would be OK to "give aid & comfort to the enemy." If some acquaintance dated one of my EXs I don't get to have a say in that. But a BFF yup, I'm gonna have an opinion & it will probably end the friendship if I'm not consulted. Thing is, anybody who I consider a good friend already knows this, has known this is my attitude for 20+ years & I have no reason to ever believe those women would not act in conformity with my expressed expectations so I do not anticipate that it would ever be an issue in my life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I just don't understand it, but this could be why I'm a huge pain in the ass. Illogical things make my brain short circuit. I mean, if he dumped you I'd completely understand the anger. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 yeah, but if I dumped him, that means he's not good enough for my friends either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 yeah, but if I dumped him, that means he's not good enough for my friends either. But you can't take it upon yourself to make that call for some one else. Not good enough for you might be perfect for some one else. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 yeah, but if I dumped him, that means he's not good enough for my friends either. Is this real life? That's your friends' call, not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 But you can't take it upon yourself to make that call for some one else. Not good enough for you might be perfect for some one else. Again, my answer was limited to how I'd feel about a good friend. I know them all well & my answer stands. It's a very limited scope. Link to post Share on other sites
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