elseaacych Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Hi all. My ex who I dated for 3.25 years, after a 3 month rough period (lots of external problems on both our parts), broke up with me in December 2013. (We were each other's first loves, and we didn't really fight, until he started picking fights about a month before the breakup.) He went NC immediately, and I haven't heard from him at all. But, because I am still in kind of the same social circles, I learned he had a new long term steady girlfriend within 6 weeks (ouch), and he's been badmouthing my younger brother, who lives in the same fraternity house as he does. He's just been acting like a complete and total jerk for the last couple months, and it's been hard on my brother, who seems to think I can do something about it. (And indirectly, it's been hard on me, because I loved this guy, and it just seems worse because I can't reconcile the behaviors. Also, my brother is my brother.) I am staying out of it, but this news is not helping me move on from the relationship. I am furious about how he's treating my brother, and the fact he probably left me for this new chick. Can anyone offer any insight on his behavior or words of wisdom to help me (and maybe my brother), cope with this? Link to post Share on other sites
smileforelena Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Would it make it easier to take if he really left you for the new gf? Would it make a difference? My ex left me for someone else. It didnt make it easier. I had more questions. It made me insecure and question myself. If I did anything that made him turn to her...NOPE! He doing that and your bf jumping from one relationship to the next is a reflection of who they are relationship-wise. So leave that alone and try harder to look the other direction and move on. Regarding your brother..what can you really do? Do you think you still have influence on him? You cannot exactly use "for the sake of what we had" card since that wouldnt mean anything to him as he is basking in the newness of his current relationship. So unfortunately, you can give your brother advice but do not break NC... Link to post Share on other sites
Justletgo Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 People can be so dumb. They start wars thinking it will be the last one ever and it will bring them happiness, but it never is and it only brings them pain. They always look at what they don't have instead of what they do have. Yes I am talking about partners in particular. Accepting that people aren't wise is the best way to cope with it. Treat people like you would like to be treated. And if people don't treat you that way, give them a chance and let them know. If they continue their ways there is nothing you can do and it is time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author elseaacych Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 I thought about shooting him a text telling him that he got what he wanted, so he can quit being a jerk. But then I realized I'd just be opening the lines up for communication, which I do not want. I mean, it's obvious that my ex doesn't care about me or my family, so why bother. It just hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
atlg8r Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I thought about shooting him a text telling him that he got what he wanted, so he can quit being a jerk. But then I realized I'd just be opening the lines up for communication, which I do not want. I mean, it's obvious that my ex doesn't care about me or my family, so why bother. It just hurts. Learn to truly accept the fact that someone talking badly about you or your family does NOTHING to take away from YOUR worth and value. It just shows what jerks THEY are. Let him talk. I am pretty sure that people will realize he is just being an idiot when they see you and your brother take the high road. Also, feel sorry for the "new girl" because she is stuck with your former jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
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