Summer003 Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 I feel so dumb right now, i don't know why i can't get him out of my head. I mean we only dated for 2 months and we live about 1.5 hour from each other. Broke up 5 days ago. But my god, i miss him. Also i broke up with him twice - the hell is wrong with me right? The first time i kind of acted on the spot and technically we weren't dating yet but i did tell him maybe we shouldn't meet for out first date because we have different path for the future. Then i explained to him how i acted on the spot and i was stressed at that time and we met up (he was pissed in the beginning - as he should be that it). Now 2 months in i told him we're not right for each other because he's 25 and has no job and didn't seem to be out looking for one and plays online poker to make a living( which was what i told him in the beginning when i first tried to break up with him). But what the hell is wrong with me!!!??? i broke up with him and i miss him??? I keep thinking that not everyone's perfect and maybe he was trying to get a job. I mean he was suuuuch a sweetheart (minus some things of course). And he said he would work in 3-4 weeks but never mentioned what job also when he first met he said he cant see himself having a career until he's 30. So that really worried me. But i don't know , i mean he went no contact. So at first i was like "okay its best for both of us" But now i just don't know, i keep thinking of him. I was the first girl he actually had feelings for and him the first guy for me. Also at the end of the break up he thought i was making the career thing up and he thinks i never had feelings for him. I just i don't know, what's wrong with me? How can i miss someone so much? At this point i feel like he hates me and wants nothing to do with me and i don't want to annoy him by messaging him again. I don't know maybe i'm not meant for relationships? god damn this hurts, what the hell though. Also i'm 22 and finishing school. Its just me and him had a great chemistry, we are so alike but yet different where we complemented each other's personality. I've grown up in a family where career in a man is important and that's what makes a man. So instead of listening to my heart in staying with him to see if he gets s job/help him i listened to my brain that said "he's 25 and he should be at least doing something" He also said he was looking a graduate school. Oh my god, i don't know who's gonna read my rant/issue but lol maybe he dodged a bullet since from this paragraph i seem to be crazy . It's also his birthday on the 28th of april, as much as i want to send him a txt, i don't want to ruin his birthday since maybe he wants nothing to do with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Leave him be and figure out you want and make extra sure before doing anything. It's bulls--t to keep breaking up and reuniting, it's not fair to him. But yeah, you need to get your head straight first before thinking of doing anything instead of acting on every little whim you have. That's what has you in this situation in the first place -- your inability to process your thoughts and feelings. So settle down, figure out what exactly you want (a guy with a career, a guy without a career, maybe focus on your own stuff) and leave him alone until you do. Stop being a wishy-washy spaz. And yes, you do sound nuts, which is why you need to slow down and settle your thoughts. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Leave him be and figure out you want and make extra sure before doing anything. It's bulls--t to keep breaking up and reuniting, it's not fair to him. But yeah, you need to get your head straight first before thinking of doing anything instead of acting on every little whim you have. That's what has you in this situation in the first place -- your inability to process your thoughts and feelings. So settle down, figure out what exactly you want (a guy with a career, a guy without a career, maybe focus on your own stuff) and leave him alone until you do. Stop being a wishy-washy spaz. And yes, you do sound nuts, which is why you need to slow down and settle your thoughts. Simon speaks it all here. Take the time to figure out what loving someone means to you - who you want to love and make up your mind once and for all before you get involved again. I was with someone for 7 YEARS before they decided that maybe they wanted to try "other fruit" and needed to discover for themselves what they wanted. Don't do something like that to another person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Summer003 Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Leave him be and figure out you want and make extra sure before doing anything. It's bulls--t to keep breaking up and reuniting, it's not fair to him. But yeah, you need to get your head straight first before thinking of doing anything instead of acting on every little whim you have. That's what has you in this situation in the first place -- your inability to process your thoughts and feelings. So settle down, figure out what exactly you want (a guy with a career, a guy without a career, maybe focus on your own stuff) and leave him alone until you do. Stop being a wishy-washy spaz. And yes, you do sound nuts, which is why you need to slow down and settle your thoughts. Thank you - you're right. I need to get my things together before even thinking of doing anything with him and really with any other guy. It's weird though i mean i know i want a guy with a career but he seemed to have so much potential that i kind of looked beyond the career thing hoping that he just needed time to figure out what he wanted but then i just started thinking that maybe he just doesn't care. Nonetheless i need to do me right now and leave him be, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Summer003 Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Simon speaks it all here. Take the time to figure out what loving someone means to you - who you want to love and make up your mind once and for all before you get involved again. I was with someone for 7 YEARS before they decided that maybe they wanted to try "other fruit" and needed to discover for themselves what they wanted. Don't do something like that to another person. Thanks! I definitely need to do some thinking and understanding myself better before anything ever happens. Oh my god, i can't imagine how much that must have hurt! I would definitely not want to do that to anyone, especially not him. I'll keep on the NC for both our sake. But i guess just thinking about it, if it wasn't for him not having ambitions/goals, we would have made a great couple. I guess the fact my parent(especially my dad) didn't like him since he doesn't work made a huge impact on me. Link to post Share on other sites
dwerli Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I agree with the posts that you should figure out what you really do want before contacting him. You are probably confusing the hell out of him. The problem with these short term relationships is that there are so many "what ifs" because there is not enough time to explore them. But I liked reading your post because I like to think that maybe my ex from a short-term relationship is thinking some of the same things and wondering if she made a huge mistake. Thanks for sharing. Link to post Share on other sites
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