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Would you ever get back together with your ex?


SinceYou'veBeenGone

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SinceYou'veBeenGone

For those that have been dumped in one form or another, would you ever take your ex back if they returned? Why or why not?

 

The thoughts constantly take up my mind.

I highly doubt that my ex would ever reach back out but suppose he did.

 

I was the one who was rejected. Many months after the breakup my ex told me he did not want a relationship with anyone and then weeks later he got into a relationship. At first I thought it was some sort of joke.

That rejection felt awful and still does.

It's been a year. Can people ever get back together?

 

I don't know if I could get back with someone who hurt me so bad. If we did it would be hard to ever trust him again because he broke my trust. I wasn't cheated on but he lied to me.

Plus the feeling of being second choice would make me feel really low about myself. I don't know if I would be able to respond to a reach out attempt.

 

This was my first relationship and first person I really cared for. Sadly I still do care for him.

I don't have the experience to answer my own questions.

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Nope. There's a billion other women out there I'd prefer to chase. My ex could never love me the way I loved her, so why waste my time hoping. She destroyed any trust I had in her so I'm more than willing to move on. I'm coming up on 5 months NC and the thought of getting back with her just isn't on my radar.

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How you're feeling is completely normal.

 

People occasionally get back together with their ex's, but not often.

Relationships usually fail for a reason and those reasons don't usually change.

 

You're missing what you had, but please understand, what you had is gone. It can never be what it was.

 

In time you'll come to understand and accept that. It just takes time and patience. In the mean time, focus on you and your life.

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SinceYou'veBeenGone
How you're feeling is completely normal.

 

People occasionally get back together with their ex's, but not often.

Relationships usually fail for a reason and those reasons don't usually change.

 

You're missing what you had, but please understand, what you had is gone. It can never be what it was.

 

In time you'll come to understand and accept that. It just takes time and patience. In the mean time, focus on you and your life.

 

It felt like there wasn't a known reason why it failed. It just happened without explanation. We never fought.

I wish he was open. I got the feeling since he is young he wants to be with other people. It is hard to accept what I had is gone.

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It's a cliché but I guess it always depends on the situation and the personalities of the parties involved...from your post it sounds like your ex is a pretty confused individual.

 

What I've come to learn from reading/posting/reflecting is that we have no control over them. As much as I will the universe to make it so, I can't get her back...

 

It's been about a month and a half since she left me. We were engaged and had been of ether 7 years. It took her 3 weeks to enter a relationship with a new guy she'd been getting close with over the past few months.

 

So for me, would I take her back? At this second, no. But it's easy to say that without having the situation present itself. In a couple hours I might give you a different answer. It's not because I'm mad - it's because so recently, after such a devastating loss...it takes some real time for our brains to unscramble the mess it wired up inside of us.

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StringsAttached

If you asked me this 2 months ago my answer would be no and i'd be lying. When they say you'll wake up one day and suddenly realize you're pretty much over your ex they mean it.

 

No contact is possibly the greatest idea that anyone has ever come up with. If she were to message/call me now I wouldn't even look at it and just delete it tbh. I'm living proof that good days are ahead people. Keep on enduring through the struggle and you will be rewarded.

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If she apologizes for hurting me and admits that she screwed up, and truly wants me back. Yes, I'd take her back.

 

I've though about her 24/7 since she dumped me four months ago.

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I'd have to be single, with no prospects and would only consider it with one woman who dumped me.

 

So basically, no.

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My ex would have to do quite a lot to get me back and he didnt make effort when we were together when it was easy just to do a simple thing here and there and he wouldn't even do that, I'd have a hard time believing he would ever put any effort in getting me back.

 

If he did contact me I could totally see him just asking and not doing anything to convince me it was a good choice.

 

So no.

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SinceYouveBeenGone

 

You said this was your 1st relationship. For that reason alone your EX will always hold a special place in your heart.

 

The two EXs of mine who I considered major relationships I doubt I would take them back. One dumped me & I broke up with the other basically after I finally realized he was never going to marry me.

 

One . . . well I still interact with him professionally & have seen his "true colors" if you will over the years so no, I wouldn't get back with him because he's just not a good guy deep down. He's very selfish.

 

The other one . . . now that I'm married to my husband I can see the dysfunction more clearly for how messed up that relationship was. People tell me he's changed. There were parts of that relationship that were amazing, mostly physical. If something awful happened to my DH, I may look that guy up just for the mind-blowing release but I doubt that would be enough long term.

 

The rest . . .the connection wasn't that deep to merit consideration in answer to your question but it would be highly unlikely. As a girl, I loved bad boys. As a middle aged woman, I don't need a large child.

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For those that have been dumped in one form or another, would you ever take your ex back if they returned? Why or why not?

 

 

 

HELLLLLLS F'ing NO!!!

 

That woman doesn't deserve me, she is ghetto and belongs with her own herd, not me. I am too mature, too good looking, too educated, too positive, friendly, handsome (all the women tell me this) and most of all, GENEROUS, CARING, grateful, etc, etc, etc to go back with that loser.

 

You need to move on, you don't need a reason to get dumped. You don't need closure, half the time the reasons stated are lies. And most of all, why would you want to hear their reasons for breaking up with you?? So you can change who you are to please a person who rejected and dumped you?? (read this over and over until it sinks in)

 

When you meet someone new you will feel the same way I feel about my ex loser. I was blessed to be dumped by this woman because I have met someone who is a lot better, prettier, younger, sweet (not sweeter because my ex was not sweet) and caring.

 

Now that I am in new relationship (6 months later, no contact for 5.5 months) my ex sends me an email. Did I read it? Hells no!!! I don't care what her life is like, I don't care who she is with, I don't care about her, I have myself, my family and my new GF to occupy my time. I also have my friends, my colleagues, get the drift?

 

Put yourself first. They ALWAYS dump you because they feel they can do better, let them go after whoever they are chasing, eventually you will find someone better because you waited, learned and grew after being dumped.

 

I blocked my ex's email address and now I'm afraid of running into her. I get on the subway in the morning and look straight ahead, not trying to get noticed by anyone. I'm afraid she might be stalking me. Her and I don't live in the same neighborhood but our train line is the same. (that's here in tijuana mexico, lol)

 

I am telling you, one day you will love yourself more than your ex and that's when you will put yourself first. DOnT change for anyone, change for yourself!!

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SinceYou'veBeenGone

 

When you meet someone new you will feel the same way I feel about my ex loser. I was blessed to be dumped by this woman because I have met someone who is a lot better, prettier, younger, sweet (not sweeter because my ex was not sweet) and caring.

 

Now that I am in new relationship (6 months later, no contact for 5.5 months) my ex sends me an email. Did I read it? Hells no!!! I don't care what her life is like, I don't care who she is with, I don't care about her, I have myself, my family and my new GF to occupy my time. I also have my friends, my colleagues, get the drift?

 

 

The problem is I am fed up with dating. I've been dating other people for one year now. I am over it. I'm bitter about immature guys, guys wanting sex and acting phony, guys who are stupid enough to think girls are stupid when I am taking notice of everything. Also, I am not compatible with 99 percent of guys around my age who drink a lot and party.

I'm over it. I haven't found better. I'm at the point that I rather be bored out of my mind then go on a date. I'm feeling slightly hopeless like there will never be someone I like enough who is compatible with me.

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At this point in time, yes I would. Only if he came back and told me what I needed to hear... Which would be that he made the biggest mistake of his life, and that he would do what it took to earn my trust back... But let's save that for a fantasy novel because that doesn't actually happen right? No... They run off into the arms of another and we've been demoted to complete strangers if not enemies.

 

It's sad how "love" pans out... Love should be unconditional and you would think the respect for what you DID share at one time would be enough to keep a connection of some sort but it doesn't happen like that sadly.

 

Sorry for the rant, I would take him back... I still love him and think about him every day - I really thought we would've been together forever.

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The problem is I am fed up with dating. I've been dating other people for one year now. I am over it. I'm bitter about immature guys, guys wanting sex and acting phony, guys who are stupid enough to think girls are stupid when I am taking notice of everything. Also, I am not compatible with 99 percent of guys around my age who drink a lot and party.

I'm over it. I haven't found better. I'm at the point that I rather be bored out of my mind then go on a date. I'm feeling slightly hopeless like there will never be someone I like enough who is compatible with me.

 

Sounds like you need some time alone. Seriously. Go and see a movie ALONE. Pick it, and go and see it. Then go out to dinner ALONE and have whatever the hell you feel like. Heck, I spent three months travelling through Europe alone last year and it was the best three months of my life. Seriously, forget about dating for a while. Just concentrate on living your life and having a good time. Then you'll be in a better position if someone worthwhile does come along. Besides, you're more likely to meet people who are compatible if you're actually doing something you enjoy rather than sitting at some random bar talking to drunks.

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In answer to the OP: Nope, not a snowball's chance in hell. Think about it, an ex is an ex for a reason. It means there was something that caused the relationship to fail. More often than not, that something is going to be there again if you try a second time around. Frankly, there are better, more fulfilling and more important things to do than waste time going over old ground.

 

If someone dumps or rejects me, I simply thank them and move on. The world is fascinating and full of possibilities, and if they've freed me from wasting time on them, I owe them a beer.

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SinceYou'veBeenGone
At this point in time, yes I would. Only if he came back and told me what I needed to hear... Which would be that he made the biggest mistake of his life, and that he would do what it took to earn my trust back... But let's save that for a fantasy novel because that doesn't actually happen right? No... They run off into the arms of another and we've been demoted to complete strangers if not enemies.

 

It's sad how "love" pans out... Love should be unconditional and you would think the respect for what you DID share at one time would be enough to keep a connection of some sort but it doesn't happen like that sadly.

 

Sorry for the rant, I would take him back... I still love him and think about him every day - I really thought we would've been together forever.

 

Good post. I wish that fantasy novel was true lol. It is sad how things pan out. I still have feelings for my ex to that do not feel like they are ever going to go away.

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If she apologizes for hurting me and admits that she screwed up, and truly wants me back. Yes, I'd take her back.

 

I've though about her 24/7 since she dumped me four months ago.

 

I don't know what's worse... you thinking about taking her back after being dumped 4 months ago or you thinking about her incessantly, around the clock for 4 months.

 

Bro. We're both in Southern Cali. You need to get out, have a drink and forget the beeyotch.

 

My treat. Let's go. You're wasting hard earned thought processes on that waste of space.

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lil hoodlum
I don't know what's worse... you thinking about taking her back after being dumped 4 months ago or you thinking about her incessantly, around the clock for 4 months.

 

Bro. We're both in Southern Cali. You need to get out, have a drink and forget the beeyotch.

 

My treat. Let's go. You're wasting hard earned thought processes on that waste of space.

 

 

Hey! Do you have room for a third? :laugh:

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Would you ever get back together with your ex?

 

No, I would sooner chew broken glass. :cool:

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