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why so much Anger and hate


minimad

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Why so much anger and hate

 

Hi, I have one thing that I know shouldn't bother me but it does, why does my ex have so much anger and hate towards me ? I know no one can really answer that but her but I would like some insight into as why.

 

long story short we had a very close loving relationship for 5 years lived together. then out of the blue she ended it saying she wasn't feeling it anymore. I tried everything to try and fix things at the time and yes I had did the begging and tears. she kept me hanging on for a month wouldn't let me move out kept flirting with me one day then the next would be very nasty and cold towards me. in the end things came to a head and I left. I spent some time living at her sisters as her husband was my best friend and I was homeless. for a while she was the same texting and calling all the time. she would ask me to come over she would call late at night and talk to me as if everything was normal and we where going to get back together I once said how much I missed her she turned nasty and replied with there's F*** all I can do about that. I soon found out she had been emotionally cheating.*

 

through all of this she always told me that the hardest thing was losing her best friend and that what ever happened she would never want to lose me in her life and she was scared that I would hate her. finally I went no contact at the end of may

 

now I'm a year down the line from there I've worked on myself I go out and grab life by the balls I do things I would have been to scared to do before. I used to suffer panic attacks. now when I say I grab life by the balls I really do. after living in a camper van for a year I'm now in a very nice flat have a good job great friends I'm still single through choice I've not been ready for a relationship,

 

now here's the thing my ex started hating me she went from telling friends that I was a good man and treated her like a princess to I used to abuse her and slap her about. I see here brother in law a few weeks back I didn't ask about my ex I let him bring her up and to be honest I was a bit shocked as to the amount of anger and hate he said she had towards me even to the point he said it was awkward for him to talk me he did say he didn't understand it as he was the one told me I had to go no contact as he could see at the time how bad she was treating me.

 

it plays on my mind how things went from so good to so bad. I always treated her very well, never had any real problems, after the break up she stalked me on line for months she's now in her third relationship

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I've had this happen to me too. She's trying to demonize you, to justify emotionally cheating on you.

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I've had this happen to me too. She's trying to demonize you, to justify emotionally cheating on you.

 

 

This is so true. I had an ex who left me because she chose her long-time FWB feelings over mine and I had to make a choice. We broke up and I was devastated and went overseas for 2 months. Came back and she told my friends, work colleagues and everyone that I cheated, stole, abused. Her family called the police because apparently I was harassing and toying with her life (I was in Ethiopia at the time, go figure). She ran around making me out to be the devil. Its all to save face.

 

 

IGNORE, CUT OUT AND MOVE ON. EVENTUALLY EVERYONE WILL SEE HER AS PATHETIC.

Edited by Sundancev1
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After the first four months of N0 contact l had her sister message me begging me to move on and leave her alone. in than four months I Never so much as Looked at her facebook page she was the one who was stalking me. She'd told people I had been abusive and had slapped her about.

 

None of it was true in the five years we were together I treated her like a princes. I Was very close to her family now she has turned them all against me.

 

For the last year l have ' picked Myself gone out got a Life done things l never thought I would.

 

the strange thing for me Is someone that was so close could turn so Nasty to someone that treated her so well.

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HeartbrokenNewbie

I was thinking the same thing.. my ex wont speak to me, cut me out and the kids he was bringing up like we were nothing... this was 10 months ago and he still wont speak to me now.

 

The funny thing is I was the most hurt, I went into meltdown but eventually I healed and I actually feel indifferent now, I could sit in a room with him and not be emotionally involved anymore but he still wont speak to me..

 

It does make u wonder why.. it almost seems they still harbour feelings or resentment somewhere x

 

I could be completely wrong but its quite nice to think it especially as I suffered for so many months... hopefully its his turn now whereas I feel fine! xx

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Agree with SugarKane.

 

She's demonising you to make it easier and less guilt for her. It stops her looking in the mirror at her own faults. Blame you for the breakdown of the relationship.

 

I've gone through the same type of thing. My Ex was the one to leave but has been the angry/bitter one, while I've tried to remain polite and indifferent for the sake of our child.

 

Better not trying to work out why she's acting that way as you'll probably never find the true answer. Try focussing on yourself, moving on with your life and forgetting about her.

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