harvej Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 She has HPD and was in an episode where she started a fight and would not stop yelling at me. She kept asking me if I wanted to break up and I said no, over and over. She kept yelling at me and asking me and finally I said that if she cant take a no, then I said yes! Then she got out of my truck and left. She immediately blocked me on Facebook and deleted all my photos and I have not heard from her since. That's been a week now. I did text her that night and said that the argument was childish and she force me to say yes vs what I really felt and said which was that I didn't want to break up. After several hours I texted her that she shouldn't ignore me and that she needed to calm down and that she gave me no other choice but to say "yes". That is the last contact and she has now gone NC. I am leaning towards letting her go and getting out while I can, but having the clinical attachments that docs talk about when in love. I know it takes time to break that dependency, but should I send her a farewell note or tell her she is being ridiculous, or stay NC myself and run? What does her own NC say about her head? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I would stay NC and run. Maintaining a long-term relationship is hard enough without a personality disorder involved. Even if you've been dating her for a longtime and were engaged, I think you would still owe it to yourself to evaluate what you are and aren't willing to tolerate from a partner. As for her NC, it may be a function of her disorder. She wants your attention. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Go NC because this relationship is toxic, now is your chance to escape. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 (edited) My ex broke exactly like this with me. Very emotional and loving relationship, a fight with some heavy words and months of her cold shouldering me. Even though she's not diagnosed I don't think anyone could have a whole lot of cluster B disorders symptoms and not have at least one. You don't do anything. You go NC until she magically wakes up one morning and feels different which I am certain will happen. But you don't give her an inch of your life or your happiness until she does. Edited March 12, 2014 by erklat Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Farewell note: Why? She doesn't even care that you're gone and she seems perfectly fine that you're gone. She doesn't need a farewell. Unless you're using it to provoke a reaction. She's being ridicilous: She doesn't need you to point out her behavior. If she can't see it for herself, she won't accept it from you. NC & run: Yes. Please move on, as painful as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author harvej Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 I needed that support and have decided to stay NC. Seems that HPD afflicted people see themselves as the victims and expect us to apologize to them. Not going to happen, I am free. BTW: Do these HPD afflicted get violent later if they don't get their way, or do they usually move on a create another movie in their head with somebody else? Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I needed that support and have decided to stay NC. Seems that HPD afflicted people see themselves as the victims and expect us to apologize to them. Not going to happen, I am free. BTW: Do these HPD afflicted get violent later if they don't get their way, or do they usually move on a create another movie in their head with somebody else? They move on onto another "victim", but indeed, they keep their eyes on you and try to appear from time to time. But you must not feel excited about it at all... You must stay away from people like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author harvej Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 Thank you for your input. What really upsets me is the same night we had a fight, I immediately wrote her and explained that she was so over the top in her HPD type bashing of me at dinner, that when she asked if we should break up (pointed at me and screamed it 10 times while i tried to explain that she wasn't listening to me even when i said no), i finally said "yes", and then she stormed off, deleted everything on facebook, all pics, blocked me and I have not heard from her ever since. I sent her one last text telling her to calm down and that she forced me to say Yes to breaking up, and that that's not what I wanted and that she shouldn't ignore me. So she went NC before me which was over a week ago,and have not heard from her ever since. I was tempted to write again and explain thet she was being abusive and force me to say yes because she wouldn't take a no. So if she went NC, then how does my NC deal with this. He/she who writes first loses? she is stubborn. Link to post Share on other sites
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