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If its meant to be they will come back to you.


djones

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Hey Guys,

 

I am feeling a little better in the last couple of days, I still miss my ex, I have done the NC thing for a while now. I dont know if we will get back together, I am taking care of my self right now, but somany of you have said "if its meant to be they will come back to you" I was thinking that I think we need some happy stories, Kodiak had sent one about his friend and how they were on again off again relationship and they are married now and I felt a little better after reading it. I dont want this to give us hope about our own relationship problems, if it works out for us so be it. What I wanted is just if some people could share some stories that they may know of (ie. friends, family, parents etc) that follows the idea "if it is meant to be they will come back to you". I was just thinking that maybe a little happiness could help us all right now, thinking that if it is not this person that we care for, maybe the next person we meet will be the "one"....I dont know, guess its helps to feel better that knowing that it does happen to people and hopefully it will happen to all of us here......Just a thought...

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Hey Doc,

 

I don't have a happy story for you right now. I just wanted to say that I'm glad you've had a good couple of days the last two days. Hang in there man. I'm feelin' a downward slope on that roller coaster, but it's not too bad. I know that I'm gonna pull through this one. I've made it through some bigger slumps in the recent pass. I'll let you know of a happy story one I get a hold of one. Funny...I was thinkin' about postin' a thread just like yours a couple of days ago. :)

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thanks frogprinz29,

 

I hope you pull up on the roller coaster....I still get my high and lows today I am I think I am on a little downward slope, but I will hang in there. hehe yeah I think we need some happy posts I am hopeing someone will post a couple here. I was getting worried I posted this yesterday and all day no one replied...I was thinking that there was no good stories out there!....well we will see...

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Hrmm.....

 

Well... if you search for my posts, you'll find out what I'm dealing with. I cracked last night... cause I was talking to my mother... and she basically said "You've got nothing to lose....". So... I'm trying to decide whether or not to bug the hell out of her.. as in doing the things that initially got her...... again in order to at least have her think about me and not forget me. I mean... what do I have to lose? There's no use in fighting/suppressing what you feel... because it hurts... and what do I have to spare... my pride.. my dignity........ well... I'm willing to throw it out the window for this one. I trully believe she is the one... because I CAN"T GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD... everything about her... everythiung that I thought was wrong... are the things that I love about her the most now...... and yes... we fought..... and we tore at each other sometimes just because we could... and hahahaah I miss that too.

 

Maybe this was the wrong place to post this.. but it really is a happy story..... I know what it's like to love... I nkow what it's like to be loved... I know what it's like tohave your heart broken... I know what it's like to TRY to hate that person only to fail miserably.... I know what it's like to miss that person.. i know what it's like to come to terms with it...... and i know that there's no use in me hiding it....... and I'm happy...... because i know these things....... and I'm happy to say that I LOVE HER... even though she might not give a f**King S**T.......

 

So what do you think??? The hell with playing the game of NC...... no one wins..... and it confuses everyone. Tell them you love them... and tell them that your happy to be miserably missing them......... how much sweeter can life get?

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I'm afraid that there won't be too many uplifting stories posted here, and this is why...

 

1) Once people reunite and are truly happy together, they have no reason to go back to a site that is there to help them get thru the breakup. They don't want to remember the bad times that they were experiencing while on this site.

 

2) An EX is an EX for a reason. Scoend chances probably just don't work out or last that long b/c one or both persons are just waiting for the bad news to hit again. So, the whole time that they're back together they're very suspicious of the R/L and so, never get on here to say how great it's going - (does that make any sense?)

 

For myself it's going on 9 months of N/C and so for me, and most of my friends, I know that once it's over it's over for good. I never heard of anyone, other than on these chat sites, that had an EX dump them and then come back a few months later begging for forgiveness. I'm beginning to think that it just doesn't happen. I know it hasn't ever happened to me.

 

I think we'd all be better off moving on and focusing on improving ourselves so that when Mr/Mrs Right does come along, we're ready to start anew.

 

Good luck all.

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drjones-

 

 

Hey brother i wanna post that story for you but im not really sure how to do it. I have not done it before so tell me how so i can try to put a story here that will make people feel better. I agree with

doubledowns reply about people posting here. I do think people get there second chances and i feel that they are probably so happy that they dont have time to post anymore. Everytime I visit this site its because i need to vent and Im sad, If my ex came back to me I most likely would not have to do that. So drjones let me know hoe I can attach that thread and i will try to do it today...Take Care.....................Kodiak

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Well, before my last relationship I was single for about 1 year....Before that I was with a girl for like 5 years! When that ended it was sort of a mutual feeling. She actually made the break up...but I sort of realized it was the right thing for us at the time. We worked together at the time, so it was a little odd, but we got along and remained friends. I know for a fact that a few times she wanted to get back together...problem was I didn't. Then a year or so later I meet my current EX and couldn't have been happier (well I was at the time :p). She also found someone and seems pretty happy now herself. I guess I am trying to be positive in that eventually things DO work out. So maybe you can call this a happy story, even though it might not be exactly what you were looking for.

 

So when I'm down I really try and focus on the fact that IT WILL BE BETTER SOMEDAY! Like many people on here have said --If its meant to be...etc.--I believe this. I also believe 2nd chances are few and far between, but they do happen sometimes. I'll tell you this much---If I get a second chance, and I take it---I'll be back to tell the story!

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Hey Guys,

 

Thanks for the honest replies, I have to agree with you doubledown....I guess I was just going on wishfull thinking....I guess its hard to believe there are second chances with an Ex just for the reasons you stated. Kodiak, you know what try to goto your post and just do a cut and paste job with your mouse....just post a reply and then paste it in....but I am thinking now that maybe this was not a good idea.

 

take care

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DRJones,

 

I know how you feel. I've felt that way for the last 8 months. In reality though, I've read probably 1000 break up stories and less than probably 20 2nd chance stories that actually worked out for a decent amount of time.

 

From the stories I have seen where and EX takes back the dumper, they usually end up back in a month or two telling everyone that they got burned again.

 

It just seems that relationships are one of the few things in life that are really hard to fix or change the outcome of. If 2 people can't make it work the first time, then it seems that it's doomed for good. It's really depressing to think that, but since most relationships end due to the influence of a "third" party being involved, thne it does begin to make sense.

 

If the break up was caused by some misunderstanding or a heated argument, and after a few days BOTH people miss each other and try to fix things, then, I believe it can work out long term.

 

But if one person gives the other person the ol' "things are too stressful, I need time to sort it out, I need a break...." Then it's probably never gonna work. Because it usually means that they want to see other people, and once the trust is lost it almost never returns to the person that was dumped.

 

You'll know when you find the right one because you won't have to think so much about it, it'll just happen and be exciting and fun and easy.

 

Good luck.

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Hey doubledown,

 

Thanks for the reply, you are right it makes sence what you say if it cant be worked out then it will not be the case....You know this is real hard on me and just like everyone else....if everyone just thought that way we would not be going through all this torment. I wonder why we do this then to ourselves...

 

hehe you said something:

 

You'll know when you find the right one because you won't have to think so much about it, it'll just happen and be exciting and fun and easy.

 

This statment is the hardest thing for me to do....I am a thinker...I think way too much in everything that I do...all the people I know tell me the same thing, that I think too much....the thing is I dont know how not to think too much...I know that sounds dumb, but honestly I dont know how to relax and let things happen, I worry that I am doing things wrong or I am too carefull....maybe thats why she dumped me....I did not take risks....things do happen to me easily...I am unlucky you could say..so I fear that something will be taken away from me, which is allways the case....and this failed relationship is another one of those bad events that happend to me....It comes to the point where I expect it to happen...believe me I have tried to fix things in my life be more open, optomistic, etc and it just falls in my face.....sorry for my rambling I needed to vent again....

I am feeling better from the last couple of weeks, I have excepted that she is gone, I still miss her...but what can I do....other than try to fix myself

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DRJones,

 

I know what you're looking for. A story much like your own with a happy ending. It's gonna be tough to find, maybe 1 in 1000. If your EX does come back it will probably be a complete surprise to you.

 

There's no chance that she'll come back until you've moved on, women just seem to know when that is, if they return at all.

 

So, the best thing you can do is just that, move on. And either she'll come back someday and you'll be able to make an objective decision as to whether or not it's worh the risk. Or you'll actually move on and be happy w/o her.

 

I'm like you, I think way too much and analyze every little word and action. We both need to just relax, be ourselves, and let fate take it's course and realize that we only have control of half the realtionship. The rest is up to the other person and we can't make them stay with us we can only hope that we're the person that they want to be with.

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doubledown,

 

Yeah you are right man, I am one of those "hopeless romantics" .....I know you are right I have to jsut move on and see what"fate" has in store for me....boy I would like to give "fate" a nice kick in the @ss to hurry up with me and stop messing with my heart!!

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It shouldn't come to this.

 

True love shouldn't have to be tested. There should be no bulls***, "If you love someone, set them free, if they come back, blah blah blah." Screw that.

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hurtingandconfused

Kinda like letting a bird outta their cage eh? Just maybe, just maybe it will come back.

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Hey UCFKevin,

 

You are right, I used to believe that, but nowadays I see that bull crap everywhere, people testing each others "love"....I am tried of it...I am old fasioned kind of guy, I dont like to mess around with people's heart, If I dont like you I will end it in the 1st few dates...why string someone along just to hurt them in the end...true love, I think may be just a figment of our imagination...

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drjones-

 

Hey my brother i wanted to reply to your previous post earlier but i was at work for a couple days and didnt get a chance too. Please my man dont give up on the true love thing. There is such a thing as true love, sometimes its just finds us in jacked up ways. I firmly believe that we do get second chances but we dont hear about them all the time on this site. Thats okay though!!! I know this is tough, i was doing great the last three days, then last night I dreamt about my ex all night long. It was horrible. The weird part was I woke up and was like "sure that sucked but I didnt feel as bad" I think Im getting better in my own way, atleast I hope i am. Its been a month since i had that hour long great talk with her. It hurts that she doesnt call but i guess that she has somone new and its keeping her busy. The truth is that I truly hope that she is happy right now. I going to write her that letter. Im going to close this chapter of my life with her. I have to move on and try to date and see what else is out there. It not going to be easy and I know that. However remember just because you are closing the chapter, it doesnt mean that there might not be another book that is about your ex or my ex in the future. Let it go but keep the candle of hope flickering in your heart. I assure you one thing my friend, "tomorrow the sun will rise, and you never know what the tide will bring in" Take Care and be in touch...Kodiak

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Kodiak,

 

Thanks man for the kind words, I needed that, I had a dream about my ex last night and i woke up, but it did not hurt as much, like a month ago...I am feeling a lot better today...I am just going to move on and take it day by day...you are right the sun does rise every day...I hope we get some happiness soon....keep in touch

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drjones-

 

Im glad to hear that you too are feeling better about things. It does get easier as it has for me. Sure it still hurts but like the line from one of my fav. movies "Swingers"- "You wake up each day and it hurts a little bit less and a little bit less, then one day you wake up and it doesnt hurt at all". I recommend you buy his movie drjones if you havnt seen it before, trust me it willl help so much. Its typically, girl breaks guys heart, guy cant move on for 6 months nomatter how hard he tries, guy meets new girl and starts to forget about his ex, ex calls in the end and wants him back but he doesnt go. Its truly a great movie. Anyways again im glad things are looking up for you. I know those dreams do suck but we cant control that part. Im kinda talking to this new girl and it has helped me alot. Im not ready for another relationship by any means but its nice to have someone to talk too. She is totally cool and could be a possibilty, we will see. Keep up the good work your doing just fine....Kodiak

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Kodiak,

 

Thanks man...I am trying my best, sometimes what will pop in my mind is that she is seeing someone else....and then I get down on my self b/c I could have been that guy, if only my life and distance was not the problem...she back then that there was nothing wrong with us but just the circumstances....It just makes me feel angry sometimes. I have to thank you for being around, I honestly dont have many people to talk to about this, all my firends just tell me to hang on...its easy for them they have been in realtionships since university and they are all engaged or marrried.....plus I dont want to be around them too much...it hurts sometimes seeing them with thier other halves and I am alone...its not their fault its mine...I just feel like why the Fu@k I cant have a little happyiness and when I did why did God take it away from me....the break up was over a stupid thing...you know I could accept she not digging me....but Fu@k why like this....why the hell I cant get my life in order yet I frigging 30 and I feel for every step I take I get kicked in the ass 5 back....I keep asking God what am I missing? did i miss the message you are sending me...??? I dont know.....I needed to vent!.....that felt good...

As for you....I am so happy that you have found someone to talk to, she sounds like a good woman, just take your time and be good to yourself and to her....takecare

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Hi,

Just wanted to post a second chance success story, for those who believe it is possible, and give those of us holding on hope.

 

One of my good girlfriends and her husband were married for two years, they went through so hard times and got divorced. At the time of there divorce they were living in TN. My friend she went home to her family in Wyoming. They had no reason to stay in touch no children or anything. Well to make a long story short. They found their way back to each other. ALL THEY WAY ACROSS COUNTRY..... They are remarried and have a 4 year old son, and another one on the way. I went and spent the weekend w/ them not to long ago, and they have never been more in love. I can see it in their eyes. I think when they were married the first time they took each other for granted, and now after their time apart, they realized how much they love each other, and the thought of loosing each other again, scares them both....

 

So for all those out there still hoping for a second chance, (like me)...... There is Hope..... In the mean time take care of yourself first.

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HI sundrop,

 

Thanks for sending that story in, I was thinking this post was not a good idea....thanks that put a smile on my face :)

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Dr Jones,

The post was a good idea. I think there are many stories like that out there. I have hope, I guess it's the only way I make it through my days sometimes.

Keep your chin up. I know I am, some days it's harder than others. But keep looking ahead, there is a happy ending out there and hopefully we will find it soon. And hey, if it's not with the people we want to be with right now, it wil be better with the next, because we know who we are ad what we deserve. It hurts like Heck right now, but it will only get better.

 

Wishing you the best and much happiness.

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sundrop-

 

 

Thanks very much for the reply. All of us love hearing these stories because it can happen, if its meant to be. If you dont mind sharing or if you know, how long were they apart for and did they have contact at all or no. How did they find there way back to each other. I would like to know. thanks again for the story....Kodiak

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Hey Guys,

I will call my friend right now, and get back to you. It maybe tomorrow before I can post again. But I will find out the answers to all your questions and let you know. I love a good love story.

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I just talked to my friend in TN and she says, her and her husband were separated for about 10 months, and they really didn't talk for a long time except about past due bills. Her husband was the one who filled for divorce and being mad she signed it. She said all she wanted was a break, but she signed the papers anyway.

Then during one of their phone calls she ignitated the conversation about getting back together. She said she asked him, "what are we doing". they both agreeded they felt so lost w/ out each other, and he flew her back to TN from Wyoming and now one kid later and another one they way.....

 

So there is hope...... I guess take that leap of faith.....

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