moscatto Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 He left me and I still talk to him. When I talk to him he says things that makes me know he is upset about it. Maybe regrets it. Maybe doesn't. He wants to see me and I don't want to see him and I tell him I don't because it hurts me too much. And he doesn't understand why I think I am the only one hurting. Why does knowing he is upset make me upset? It shouldn't. And I know I should stop talking to him but it is so hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizrd3000 Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 Go NC, really. my girlfriend contacts me sometimes and shows she's upset, we also share friends so they tell me she's upset too, which upsetted me, but she broke up with me so really, she deserves the hurt. It was his decision, don't take his pain too, you're just prolnging the pain for no reason. and guess what, once he has a new girlfriend he'll drop you like a rock while you're still hurting. why do this to yourself? go NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 He left me and I still talk to him. When I talk to him he says things that makes me know he is upset about it. Maybe regrets it. Maybe doesn't. He wants to see me and I don't want to see him and I tell him I don't because it hurts me too much. And he doesn't understand why I think I am the only one hurting. Why does knowing he is upset make me upset? It shouldn't. And I know I should stop talking to him but it is so hard. Just go NC really, it pains a lot but it is short term... by staying contact with him, it is gonna drag the pain for long. Link to post Share on other sites
Lost_Dragon Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 Misery always needs company. Link to post Share on other sites
lindsay1990 Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 Misery always needs company. Maybe because it is even more rejecting. I mean: he's so upset but he STILL doesn't want me back? Like, even suffering without me is preferable to being with me and giving it a chance? Was he THAT unhappy, that he would rather ride out this misery? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lost_Dragon Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 Maybe because it is even more rejecting. I mean: he's so upset but he STILL doesn't want me back? Like, even suffering without me is preferable to being with me and giving it a chance? Was he THAT unhappy, that he would rather ride out this misery? I look at it like this.. He is doing you a favor. This is an early red flag you should take notice of. He probably feels that if he does go back with you he will fall in love with hurting you. He is in such pain that he will try to validate it. Only bringing you down to his level. Expecting nothing except pain he will cause it to happen and in the end, it will be worse. Give each other space and respect that space. Maybe down the line you can be friends or more. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
maiden555 Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 This happened to me but it made me feel WAY better than picturing him fine. That's always the knife twist for me. But it is verrrrry frustrating to know that someone is upset and still won't try to fix the situation. Why did he leave you and why does he want to see each other? If it's not for him to recant what he said and to get back, there is absolutely no reason to meet up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GatsbyMH Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 When I left my wife, I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn't in love with her and we were fighting more and more. Once I left I did miss her. Companionship, routine and lifestyle gone in a manner of minutes by my own hand. I dont want her back and now, later on I don't miss her as much now. Its hard to leave someone you care about. For myself I had a lot of guilt about it. Abandoning someone I was supposed to take care of. its hard to break those habits and I hurt a lot more than I thought I would. Separation is hard on both parties a lot of the time. However necessary the split is, it isn't always easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Canadiangirl78 Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I'm in the exact same situation right now with my ex fiancé. Our breakup was mutual after a little fight that turned into a huge fight. We ended it both agreeing it was best. We didn't speak for a week after but had to see each other so he could pick up our son. When we saw each other the emotions between us both were so raw that we started texting each other sharing each other's pain. This of course lead to seeing each other and being intimate. This has happened a few times now. I know in my mind that this is going to end badly and I will be at square one again. He told me that he knows we are meant to be together. Now that we are apart and I'm living in my own place, I find I am starting to miss "us" less everyday. Again, I know this is going to end badly and I know I am not making good choices right now when it comes to our breakup. One or both of us is going to get crushed. He uses his emotions to get to me like your ex does and it's working for him..don't do what I'm doing, please don't...take the advice of the others here, they are much much smarter than I am.. Link to post Share on other sites
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