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Why do we miss someone who doesn't miss us?


SinceYou'veBeenGone

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SinceYou'veBeenGone

I do at least. I miss someone I used to spend all my time with/speaking with. Without lying to myself, I do miss being with my ex.

I like to think that I don't, and I wish that I didn't, but deep down I do.

 

He's moved on. He found someone new and is in a new relationship with a beautiful girl (really beautiful). It sucks thinking that when I cry missing the times with him at that very moment he can be making love to her. Horrible thought but it's true.

I saw the two of them together just a few days ago and that didn't feel good at all. I remained strong and held myself together though inside I felt crushed.

 

I still care for someone who doesn't care at all about me and doesn't want to be with me? Why?

I like to think (hope) that part of him still does care about me as a person and that he does have a heart and it's not made of stone. That those feelings didn't 100 percent vanish and he just doesn't want to settle down with someone right now because he's not ready for that. Years from now who knows. I think majority of the time it's "when" you meet someone. My parents wouldn't be together had my mom met my dad years sooner. The timing is what made it. However, we can never be certain if that's just an excuse and for the right person the timing is never bad. Even if its 10 years to soon or w/e.

 

He was the one who didn't want to pursue the relationship any further with me.

Anyone else hurting at all or dealing with someone who left them and now involved with someone else?

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chinacat sunflower

I'd like to know the same thing. I always wonder if he is ever reminded of me (i.e. songs/music, movies, places, TV shows etc) even though he's happily in a new relationship. It's a waste of time to even thinking about this, but it does cross my mind. It's dumb and I will never know.

 

Anyways, I'm in the same boat as you. It hurts. But it's more annoying now. I wish I could just erase him from my brain.

 

Hope you feel better soon....

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TrappedWanderer

Yup, I feel the same. As much as I try not to, he's so much the focus of things for me right now (grrr)...he seems so cold and distant, I wonder if our relationship meant anything to him at all...then I wonder, how could it not? Songs, tv shows, places, moments...so many things to remind me of him and "us".

 

Torturous to think like this....answers we'll probably never get. I keep thinking, if only we could have just one last conversation, say all the good things about what was "us" and regret that it can no longer be....but that will never happen.

 

Hard to accept, but accept I must. And so must you...not for him, but for yourself.

 

Stay strong

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I think about how he's not missing me and I hate him for it, for me harsh is key I hold onto my dislike for my ex as much as I can if I start thinking about good times I quickly put myself in place with what would never work and what I disliked, its the only way I can survive this one.

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I think it's a habit. I think we've cared so long and so deeply that it's hard to stop.

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They miss you too, but they won't show it.

 

I remember last year about 4 months into the break-up, my EX and I were in low contact -- she calls me just to catch up, starts crying how she says she misses "us", how things she does isn't the same without me. I think she still misses me over a year and a half later, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss her. I miss her friendship, but as a partner and lover -- I'm glad that's gone. I've moved on to greener pastures with a more attractive woman physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. Oh, she's not a cum dodger either.

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Hey OP,

 

Look, I am sure his heart isn't made of stone honey. Obviously, there are some people out there who really do lack empathy; sociopaths, narcissists and psychopaths. Then there are people who just.. don't really care much about others, yet are not a fully blown sociopath.

 

For the MOST part, if a guy seems decent and genuine and you see that he treats others around him well, then he probably is legitimately a nice guy. Most people are not just great liars. Most decent people are truly how they seem.

Lets assume your guy is a normal guy, who has feelings haha. OF COURSE he would care about you on a human level; he would care if anything bad happened to you, due to spending time with you. Humans that once care for another human DO feel bad if anything bad ends up happening to them. It is a natural reaction for normal people to have.

 

 

 

In summary: he likely cares about you and likes you as a person (to have bothered spending time with you), yet you were not " it" for him. You didn't rock his world, and he has probably fallen for this other girl.

Falling in love doesn't often happen. You cannot FORCE yourself to fall IN love; rather, you can grow to love most people.

This guy probably had some romantic feelings and attraction for you, but he just wasn't in love with you; he has now found a girl he is probably falling in love.

 

Yes she is beautiful, maybe he is attracted to her in a way he wasn't with you. It hurts, but the good news is; the right guy will find you absolutely gorgeous, even if it is on the inside only first and he doesn't think you're beautiful looking the instant he sees you. The right guy will think you're the most beautiful thing to him which is all that matters.

 

I am sure he cares about you! He has just find someone who he wants to be with more, and you will move on and do the same!

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i can totally relate. i fell for a guy that i truely enjoyed his company and thats was the worst part of it all. he could be sweet and so caring but really it was all lies. it probably isnt in your case but there are people out there that enjoy causing others pain. i kept trying to stay because i liked and enjoyed who i thought they were only to find out they never did like me but were using me. i couldnt figure out why i was missing someone who didnt miss me and really could care less. its because you miss the qualities that you enjoyed and what you were getting from the relatiinship. a good friend helped me realize you need to look at those things and replace them with other things maybe not the same but that keep you busy and occupied. eventually the missing part diminshes but it takes time. its goid to focus on the fact he doesnt miss you and the negatives of the relationship. its also good to keep note for future relationships. what youre looking for and what to steer clear of.

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Gosh. I think we've all been on the receiving end of unrequited love at least a time or two in this life and it certainly can be an ouch. Totally normal not to feel a touch blue over it. Anytime we give a piece of our heart in a genuine way to another human, we feel it. Your best bet,work through the emotions at your own pace to reach the point of letting it go. You can and will get there. Time helps. Good luck.

 

Mea:)

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Its soo sad but i can relate to this story too, just soo hurtful really. But i agree its coz we cared soo much for them when they were in a relationship with them its hard just now to just stop caring for them. Cry it out and then think of why they are no longer worth our time and thoughts. Theres somebody out there who will be want us just takes time. But time is a bast**d tho ;)

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Can completely relate to this. My ex girlfriend is gone and moved on with someone else and here I am, sometimes angry at her, sometimes still loving her, and always missing her but knowing that bringing her back is hopeless. One of the hardest feelings I've ever had to deal with.

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