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Loveshacker's..I need insight ..ex gf situation


000sports000

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000sports000

Ok so before I write about what I need help I just want to let you all know that I will try and keep it as short as possible and to the point .. Thank you for all who respond and help me out, it's really appreciated.

 

Three years ago I went to school where I met this girl. I moved from my home residence out of state to go to this school so it was great to meet somebody there. I was 23 going to their grad school and she was a freshman. We had a lot of similarities and knocked it off very well. We started dating and it was going great. Her being young was the problem though. About 8 months into our relationship she got really drunk and did some stupid things like dancing all over guys and stuff, and I honestly could never get over it and I eventually broke up with her. We kept talking after we broke up and even hung out a few times, but she clearly wanted to do her own thing. I eventually moved back home a few months later and we kept in contact and talked all the time. She got into a nother relationship pretty quickly and we kept conversations going but I wasn't really initiating them anymore because of her never telling me she was dating somebody else and I had to find out a different way. She would keep calling me babe and telling me she misses me all while dating this guy. Fast forward a year later and she stopped dating him and tried telling me she wanted to come visit and all this great stuff but lo and be hold, she never pulled through to do it. Fast forward to now and the last couple months and we have started talking a lot lately and she keeps telling me she misses me and I'm the sweetest guy ever and all this stuff. I called her the other night and asked her if she be interested in coming up to me and come to one of my best friend's weddings and you could hear in her voice she wasn't really sure and then she said I can't because I'm dating somebody. I couldn't freak out and just told her well that sucks and I didn't know I apologize. She thought I was mad at her and she felt bad for hurting me but I told her if she's happy she's happy. After we got off the phone, she asked me why do I still love her. I proceeded to tell her my feelings for her and then at the end I told her it's best we don't talk because I just can't be your "friend." She told me my message really touched her and made her sad and then told me she's still trying to figure herself out and work out who she really is and she has never intended to hurt me. I responded telling her I appreciate her being honest with me and I told her that I also now have to work on my self and I can't if I'm communicating with her with this current situation. She responded with an "Ok."

 

So, my question is did I say the write things and is this what I should be doing, moving on basically. A part of me feels bad for cutting things off but i feel like i need to do this for my self because every time we start talking again the feelings come back. Also, could anybody help me out with her responses to what she told me and could you dissect them, what do they mean?

 

Any help from anybody will be greatly appreciated, I really need to see other perspectives on this. Thank you so much!

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So, my question is did I say the write things and is this what I should be doing, moving on basically. A part of me feels bad for cutting things off but i feel like i need to do this for my self because every time we start talking again the feelings come back.

 

If you are feeling emotional pain as a result of talking to this girl, then you should not be talking to this girl.

 

Also, could anybody help me out with her responses to what she told me and could you dissect them, what do they mean?

 

Nope. Sorry. Trying to dissect what she means is not moving on. If you aren't talking to her, then it doesn't matter what she meant. She shot down the idea of visiting you because she is dating someone else. She had already drunkenly danced all over other guys, and she is still trying to "figure herself out"? Best to stay away from this one.

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000sports000
If you are feeling emotional pain as a result of talking to this girl, then you should not be talking to this girl.

 

 

 

Yeah I agree. I'll be honest, every time we would start communicating again those feelings would come back and since the 3 years I've been back home, she has never once tried to come see me or anything. So, its just been conversation over phone/message and that's it.

 

 

 

Nope. Sorry. Trying to dissect what she means is not moving on. If you aren't talking to her, then it doesn't matter what she meant. She shot down the idea of visiting you because she is dating someone else. She had already drunkenly danced all over other guys, and she is still trying to "figure herself out"? Best to stay away from this one.

 

 

You're right. That's why I felt it was best for me to tell her we can't talk because I think it will help me get over this. Actions speak louder than words so if she really wanted to prove she had feelings, she'd make it appoint to see me. Not just tell me breadcrumbs over the phone.

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Ireallydontknow

You should of tried moving on waaaaaay before man, you'd be done with this pain already and might of found someone more stable. Finding yourself isn't jumping into a new relationship. You can't find yourself with another person. It's difficult.

 

Just let her be, she isn't worth it. She isn't happy with you or without you. She is just using you in times of emotional turmoil. Quit validating her!

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Yeah I definitely agree, after I said the whole thing about we shouldn't talk right now because I can't really deal with her being with somebody and I need to find my self, my full intentions were to let her be, and not contact her or initiate anything. Since I said that two weeks ago, I haven't heard anything from her and I haven't initiated any contact to her until this past Friday she called me and I didn't know what to do at first if I should pick up or not but I didn't. She left no v/m and didn't text or anything. I don't know what to take of this, if just is just breadcrumbs to see if I'm still around and didn't really mean what I said, or if she really wanted to talk. I feel guilty for lack of a better word for not picking up because I NEVER used to ignore her calls, but now this is just weird, and I don't know what to do.

 

Any insight would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you!

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