woodstok Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 My ex-girlfriend who broke up with me a month ago still tells me she loves me and when i ignore her calls for a few days she will text message me and wish me a good day and say stuff like, i havent talke to you in a while..blah blah blah...love you, talk to you later. She still calls me baby, sweetie and stuff. I just want to know if any girls here still say these things to an ex? She broke up with me, needed space and not sure if she was ready for our kind of realationship and stuff, i then found out she was already dating someone else she met while with me, but anyways that is not the point, i dont care i am over that stuff, the thing that gets me though is why she still says these things. Is this normal? It cant be, but what could be her deal. She did say our break up went smoothly and she has never been like this with an ex-boyfriend before, having contact and still hanging out, she may talk to an ex from time to time buit its not like with me she says. So what should i do guys? I am a little confused..... Link to post Share on other sites
jst4u Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Hey, I can tell you that I still say it to my ex. I love him but I am not IN LOVE with him. You will always love the people that left that mark on your heart and either she really never wanted to break up with you or she does want to be your friend. I am freinds with all my ex's but one and that is cause it ended on a bad note but I still tell them I love them and wish them a good day and get mad if they do not talk to me for a bit. Ask her why she still says it if it bothers you and if you don't want her saying it anymore just tell her. She may tell you that she does love you but there is a difference between LOVING someone and being IN LOVE with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author woodstok Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 Ok i see, that makes sense...but are you seeing someone? I would think you would not say it if someone new is in your life, just so they dont get the wrong idea, right? We talked about our break up and she told me she does miss me, its not the same without me, but at the same time she is enjoying her space and likes hanging out with friends again, since we both neglected our friends when we were together. She is very special to me and we love each other very much, she knows exactly how i feel about her so i need not tell her as she knows my feelings. Anyways, for both of us this is new, that is why i am asking because i have never stayed friends with any previous ex's. We even have a vacation planned together, so one never knows...... Link to post Share on other sites
jst4u Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Yes I have said it when I am dating other people, the people that I have dated understood that I still talked to them and it didn't bother them cause I was coming home to them everyday. Are you still planning on going on this vacation with her? She may still want to be with you, but she needs that time to spend with friends. If she is still calling you and telling you it is not the same without you she still wants to be with you or she is just confused about what she really wants. Just give her that time to chill with her friends and if you are going on a vacation together you can talk things out then with no friends to interfere and just spend time with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author woodstok Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 Oh yea i am definetly giving her, her space, i dont ever call her, she always calls me and if i do contact her it is through text messaging just to say hi, but i am not all "i want you back" we just talk about our day and thats it. We are also definetly going on this trip together, we talk about it, we are both very excited and it is goinn to be fun. I do however think she is confused, she may just need time to be wth friends, explore a bit, but if she agreed to go on this trip with me then something else may be up too. (I offered her a trip with me and she said yes, after we broke up) I am not really thinking too deeply into it though because, i am ok with just being friends and both of us having space, i love her, but i dont NEED her, you know. And i am not chasing her day in and day our, i am also enjoying my time and space.....I was just wondering cause like i said i never before stayed friends with an ex so this was all new to me..... Link to post Share on other sites
jst4u Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Staying friends with ex's is worth it because you know so much about each other. My one ex and me joke all the time about stupid crap that use to piss us off about each other. If you can become friends after this that is awsome. I love being able to talk to my ex's. They are good especially when I need relationship advice cause they can tell me where I am messing up if it was something I was doing when I was with them. You can learn alot from them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author woodstok Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 Yea you make sense, although because our breakup was recent we have yet to really talk about what made us break up and stuff but i am sure in due time we will talk, maybe even when we go on our trip things will come up. Now i want to know though, would you or anyone else here go on vacation with an ex? I got a trip for 7 days to a nice romantic place and i asked here to go and she said yes, it is not for about 3 months but i told her if she agreed then she would be stuck because the tickets would be placed in each others names and could not be canceled, she said she knew and so she still wants to go. She tells me she is very excited and wants to get together sometime soon to plan on what we will do, so is this normal, what do you guys make of this? I guess in a way i am a bit confused and stuff...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author woodstok Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 Please anyone out there, give me some advice, i am confused as to this situation as it is a first time for me to deal with this....any help or insight would be very helpful to me, and i would appreciate it very much......... Link to post Share on other sites
popvix Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Im going through something similar right now - unfortunately there is an imbalance here, where she has left and wants PARTS of you back to fulfill certain needs, whereas you have stayed, and want her back as the full package. She doesnt want to live with you, or be commited to you, or lay out a future or anything involving you (from what i gather?) but wants you in her life none the less, unfortunately it seems she doesnt realise that all that is... is a carrot being dangled in front of you, driving you nuts. Im going through the same agony right now and asked my ex to stop calling me, after i bluntly asked her the reasons why she calls me even though we are split up. If you two are finished - your probably going to have to cut off all contact, since in the short term the only person who will continue to be punished is YOU, while she lives her new life and calls up on you when she's bored or needs something from you. I feel your pain Link to post Share on other sites
Author woodstok Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Yea you make a good point, thank you for your advice, but at the same time i cant completly stop contact, cause it comes form her. I never call her she calls me but see my story is so strange because we are also going on a vacation together to mexico for 7 days in a couple of months and the tickets are already paid for and are non transferable so my story is twisted yet somehoe i am managing to be ok with everything..... Link to post Share on other sites
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