ex makes me miserable

[simplybrill]

My ex called out of the blue the other night, all happy and wanting to know how Im doing...last time I saw the guy, he acted very wierd and did the whole "hey ya know, whatever I dont care" attitude thing.

 

I dont even know if closure is possible, or necessary with us. I just want to never see or speak to him again, because every time I do, it really really messes me up emotionally.

 

I didnt return his call, so he sent me a text the next morning! I ended up answering that whenever I got around to it, in the middle of the day-but I havent called. I wont..the dude's too emotionally draining.

 

What to do when the ex calls, and its draining...

[Karlise13]

Don't answer.

 

Or if you do answer, take three days to do it. Then be indifferent.

 

Never be hateful. Hate shows them that you still care....that on some level they can still 'get' to you.

 

Be indifferent. You will feel very powerful. Give him a one-liner such as, "Got your message. Too busy to write right now. Sorry. Take Care." and leave it as such.

 

Lots of people like to toy with their ex's when they want an ego boost. Don't be his punching bag.

[mr_miner]

simplybrill -

 

I think you absolutely did the right thing by not returning his call. It took me a little bit of time to realize that no contact really is the best way to move on and get over the ex. Too much contact can be really confusing and might ultimately suck you back into a relationship you should not or do not want to be in anymore. And from your post it sounds like you're already aware of this, which is an important thing to recognize. Even though a call or some attempt by him to contact you might lift your spirits because it shows a bit of weakness on his part, in reality, it will only bring you down in the end.

[sid3]

Never be hateful. Hate shows them that you still care....that on some level they can still 'get' to you.

 

My ex is angry/maybe even a little hateful. I've often wondered if it is because she still has feelings for me. I think she does and she's just mad. I've heard women can stay angry for a long time.

[simplybrill]

women can stay mad for a long time, it depends on what you DID sid.

 

whats your take on my topic? Instead of posting your own problem in my post...could I get some help on my issue?

[sid3]

I just want to never see or speak to him again,

 

Sounds like you know what you want, don't reply to his calls or texting. If you have decided after a period of N/C that you are happier without him in your life than you should tell him that rather than let him carry a false hope.

And for as to what I did, nothing all that bad just panicked and pushed too much when she asked for some space. Didn't mean to hijack your post. Good luck!

[krbshappy71]

Further contact just seems to mess things up for me, too. I'm a clean-break kind of person. Ex-fiancee' just wrote to me again, the second or third time since the break up 3 yrs ago. The first couple of times he wrote it was to express his apologies about the mess. Fine. I responded to those, polite and to the point. This time, it was something about karate lessons offer for my kids. I deleted it without responding. I feel he is still putting out "feelers" and I have no interest, so why even respond.

 

I would break off the ties, delete the messages, he will get the clue. Sometimes they just need to REALLY MAKE SURE it is over, especially if the ex is lonely at that time. Take it as a sign that they are not as healed as you are and feel good for that. That's how I handled it. Good for you for seeing what hurts you and avoiding it.

 

Take care of yourself.

[simplybrill]

Thanks for the advice everyone Moving on...