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Dealing with lonely days?


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Well I've 2 weeks of complete NC at this point. Some days are better than others, usually I find that my best days are when I go to the gym and hang out with my buddies.

 

However, not every day can my friends be around to hang out with. Not every day can I go to the gym.

 

It is on days like today, where all my buds were busy that my mind began to wander back to my ex. To how happy she appears when I see her in school.

 

So, what should I do on days like today? Where should I put my mind for the majority of the day to keep it from wandering too far?

 

Thanks

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fiftyofsomethin

You can stop stealing my thoughts now. Seriously, that's exactly how I am.

 

It baffles me how she can just seem to be oh so happy without me, in my opinion, happier than when we were ever together even.

 

And having friends who can't always hang out is also a problem. Unfortunately, her friends don't work nor do they have any major obligations so she is able to hang with them every single day if she wanted to. It just seems unfair doesn't it.

 

I have found that honestly being alone and not seeing her is when I am the happiest, I can just allow any thoughts of her to "drip" out of my head and out of sight. But then the second I see her in school or I see something on Facebook regarding her (it's amazing how much you can still see about someone even when you unfriend them) I seem to go back to feeling like crap.

 

Something that sort of works for me and might help you is just sort of allowing yourself to let go of everything happy about your past with her, and all the hope you had for your relationship, and just focus on the present. What importance/what effect does she have on your life RIGHT NOW? If you think properly, your life is no different with or without her. You still are breathing, you still can talk, you still can take a piss, whatever. You are still alive. And that's the most important thing for you to realize.

 

I won't pretend that this is perfect. I still fall back into the sad thoughts and depressing thought cycle every time I see her. But I have been getting better and better at being able to move past it.

 

 

And just for future reference for you or anyone else who is reading this, I found a fantastic article on this subject that helped immensely with letting go of the thoughts about her. You can find it here: How to Stop Compulsive Thoughts: Letting Go in Four Steps | beyond karma

 

I don't know if links aren't allowed, but I don't see why this wouldn't be allowed, it was helpful and I hope I am allowed to share with everyone something that I felt helpful.

 

Good luck buddy!

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