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My Ex Boyfriend is texting me and sending me mixed messages.


Seeking Happiness

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Seeking Happiness

Hi,

 

My Ex Boyfriend and I haven't seen eachother since after Christmas. We had been fighting off and on since January and I was the one who pushed to return eachothers stuff.

 

I was very strong about this at first as I really felt that he was stringing me along with text messages "Hot and Cold". I was getting mixed messages and became a bit confused.

 

I decided to ignore any contact he had made. Then he sent me a message with a nice gesture that made me think. He said if I need anything let him know. He's there for me and on my side. I ignored it and 10 hours later at 6am he sent another text saying. It was a gesture I offered, no response, no problem I will lose your number now, good luck!.

 

You have got to be kidding!. This man offers something nice and because I don't jump at it, he throws a threatening text my way. If I don't respond he will lose my number.

 

This to me is one of the real reasons this relationship didn't work out. This guy is an Ego Maniac. I feel that this is about his Ego more than actually caring about me.

 

I was so silly as to fall for it and respond saying you sent me a nice text and then the next one was ?. He responded by saying I thought you were just ignoring like the other text, no probs though.

 

I'm not sure what to do at this point. He sends me text messages of pics of his dog and how he and his dog love me (gimme a break). He even wants me to babysit his dog next month when he goes on vacation.

 

Just wondering if anyone has any good advice for me as this is starting to really bother me now. I think I need to cut this out for my own good.:(

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OK i'm going too do some "guy behaviour decoding" for you here because it looks like some miscommunication is happening here.

 

First of all he's still very much into you and thinks a lot of you. He know's he's screwed up but isn't sure how to remedy things. He wants to contact you but because he's screwed up he isn't sure if you want to hear from him, therefore he tentively reaches out with the:

 

"need anything let him know. He's there for me and on my side."

 

He doesn't want to go anything stronger than that without a signal that you're interested and wants to speak with him. So he keeps it short and friendly. When you don't respond at all he thinks he's made a big mistake and that you want him from your life completely. He's all embarassed because he thought maybe, just maybe, you might want to talk with him. After he gets a blank from you he thinks his attentions aren't wanted at all and because he's all embarassed he lets you know that he won't be bothering you again because he thinks you don't want him to.

 

I could be wrong here but i reckon something along those lines will be going through his heead.

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OK i'm going too do some "guy behaviour decoding" for you here because it looks like some miscommunication is happening here.

 

First of all he's still very much into you and thinks a lot of you. He know's he's screwed up but isn't sure how to remedy things. He wants to contact you but because he's screwed up he isn't sure if you want to hear from him, therefore he tentively reaches out with the:

 

"need anything let him know. He's there for me and on my side."

 

He doesn't want to go anything stronger than that without a signal that you're interested and wants to speak with him. So he keeps it short and friendly. When you don't respond at all he thinks he's made a big mistake and that you want him from your life completely. He's all embarassed because he thought maybe, just maybe, you might want to talk with him. After he gets a blank from you he thinks his attentions aren't wanted at all and because he's all embarassed he lets you know that he won't be bothering you again because he thinks you don't want him to.

 

I could be wrong here but i reckon something along those lines will be going through his heead.

i think you are right

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Thanks dude. I think most guys do pretty much think the same way, we are pretty easy to read a lot of the time. But then again i would say that being a guy, i have the inside knowledge so to speak.

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Ok...

You want to know where you went wrong....?

You know, don't you.......?

 

Hi,

 

My Ex Boyfriend and I haven't seen eachother since after Christmas. We had been fighting off and on since January and I was the one who pushed to return eachothers stuff.

 

I was very strong about this at first as I really felt that he was stringing me along with text messages "Hot and Cold". I was getting mixed messages and became a bit confused.

 

I decided to ignore any contact he had made. Then he sent me a message with a nice gesture that made me think. He said if I need anything let him know. He's there for me and on my side. I ignored it and 10 hours later at 6am he sent another text saying. It was a gesture I offered, no response, no problem I will lose your number now, good luck!.

 

You have got to be kidding!. This man offers something nice and because I don't jump at it, he throws a threatening text my way. If I don't respond he will lose my number.

 

This to me is one of the real reasons this relationship didn't work out. This guy is an Ego Maniac. I feel that this is about his Ego more than actually caring about me.

 

I was so silly as to fall for it and respond saying you sent me a nice text and then the next one was ?. He responded by saying I thought you were just ignoring like the other text, no probs though.

 

I'm not sure what to do at this point. He sends me text messages of pics of his dog and how he and his dog love me (gimme a break). He even wants me to babysit his dog next month when he goes on vacation.

 

Just wondering if anyone has any good advice for me as this is starting to really bother me now. I think I need to cut this out for my own good.:(

 

 

I definitely think you do.

He's yanking your chain - because he can.

 

See how flippant he was about your message?

 

I thought you were just ignoring like the other text, no probs though.

 

He knows he managed to get you to break NC. And he didn't care. he got the response he was looking for. You breaking your own NC rule. Hah! Epic Fail!

 

Why didn't he say something like

 

I'm so glad we're still talking....

 

Or

 

Thank you for replying.

 

or

 

I'm glad things are cool, I don't want us to lose touch like this.

 

or

 

I get I hurt you, but thank you for replying.

 

Nope.

none of the above.

 

'I thought you were ignoring me.'

 

Which - HELLO - ?? You were!!

 

Talk about being suckered in.....!

 

:rolleyes:

 

That's why he wanted you to break No Contact.

 

To gert you to look after his dog.

 

Because his dog loves you....

 

Manipulative with it!

 

So, now you go......?

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Seeking Happiness

Thanks so much for your responses, this really makes me think a bit more about the silly mistakes I have made here.

 

I believe that I should have kept my strength and not even responded to that threatening text. I should have let him lose my number!.

 

He is a smart man. He is the best manipulator that I have come across in my life, I'm usually smarter than this. My emotions took over here and I seem to get in trouble once this happens to me.

 

I do get the feeling this man isn't just letting me go and get on with my life. He even called on Sat night which was weird. I couldn't answer it because I was having dinner with a guy I met.

 

I'm wasting no time here. I'm looking to meet another guy right away so I can get over my Ex. I just don't want to feel pain anymore. I usually find another guy within a month and forget about an Ex.

 

I just pray this happens to me this time. It's tough because I feel in love with this man.

 

I better tell him I can't look after his dog and it's best for him to just leave me alone. I guess I answered my own question here. I will ket him know this when he decides to text message me again or call me.

 

I for some reason just can't bel alone. It just drives me crazy!. Thanks so much for your help on here.

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I better tell him I can't look after his dog and it's best for him to just leave me alone. I guess I answered my own question here. I will ket him know this when he decides to text message me again or call me.

 

I for some reason just can't bel alone. It just drives me crazy!. Thanks so much for your help on here.

 

Don't 'meet a guy' as a 'gap-filler'. meet a guy and go out with him, because you see serious potential.

be fair to him, and be fair to yourself.

 

Don't bother contacting your ex.

The next time you get a text from him, just respond immediately with either this:

 

Your text could not be delivered because the recipient has blocked this number.

 

Or this:

 

Text Blocker Activated

 

He'll get the message you give a flying phukk about his dog..... ;)

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Seeking Happiness

Thanks TaraMaiden the advice your giving me makes a lot of sense. I may not really be ready to date anyone just yet. It isn't fair to get other men involved if I'm not emotionally ready or available in the right way.

 

I will try my best to ignore him even though it's hard sometimes because I feel so alone. I noticed he called tonight and I just let it go to voicemail. It's hard but I need to be strong.

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BewitchedandBothered

...he wants you to watch his dog while he's on vacation? That one is very telling.

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Seeking Happiness

I know what you mean!. It's a soft spot for me as he really knows how to pull at my heart strings. I Love his dog but I will get over it.

 

I will buy myself a French Bulldog and fall in Love all over again!.

 

He keeps calling and texting sending me mixed messages. I'm not sitting around waiting to get back with him. I'm going out a fair amount and socializing with new people and hoping for the best.

 

I do feel kinda sad and depressed lately but I know deep down that I am the only one who can change things for the better.

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I would respectfully suggest request you pay your local animal shelter a visit and see about adopting a dog that has been abandoned or rejected by their prior family for whatever reason.

Such dogs need loving, caring, considerate owners, and will already be used to some form of human interaction...

 

They need an owner.

There are too many dogs left by the wqayside, and they all deserve consideration.

 

I too wanted a 'pure-breed' dog at one point - but that's sometimes putting money into the wrong hands - and with so many wonderful, loving animals available, it 's a shame to go get a "purpose-made pup" when there are so many - far too many - dogs who desperately need re-homing.

 

Sorry - I feel a bit strongly about this.

As a Dog Behaviourist, it breaks my heart.....

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I would respectfully suggest request you pay your local animal shelter a visit and see about adopting a dog that has been abandoned or rejected by their prior family for whatever reason.

Such dogs need loving, caring, considerate owners, and will already be used to some form of human interaction...

 

They need an owner.

There are too many dogs left by the wqayside, and they all deserve consideration.

 

I too wanted a 'pure-breed' dog at one point - but that's sometimes putting money into the wrong hands - and with so many wonderful, loving animals available, it 's a shame to go get a "purpose-made pup" when there are so many - far too many - dogs who desperately need re-homing.

 

Sorry - I feel a bit strongly about this.

As a Dog Behaviourist, it breaks my heart.....

 

And if you really need a pure breed, there are tons of those in the shelters too. Just my 2 cents. :)

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...And you can also google *Specific breed* rescue associations... there are many in the UK, there must be some where you are... One of the most popular here is for retired racing greyhounds - which, would you believe, are actually the biggest couch potatoes in the world! They like to go for a walk - and 'walk' is the operative word!

But if you're looking for a particular dog, then you could do worse than that.

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Seeking Happiness

That's so true I would definately consider going to an animal rescue and I would adopt.

 

I love animals so much. There are a lot of animals left behind and it's sad. I have rescued a few animals already.

 

The love you get from pets in unconditional, there is no other love like it!:)

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