Is he just playing mind games or is it over?

[Laurakiam]

Hi im 21 and have a 3 year old boy from a previous relationship. I got with me ex lew in april and he was my first boyfriend since my ex before that whom i had my boy with. Me and lew had been friends before and had always had that little spark in our friendship but never persued it and lost contact. When we got back in contact the spark was still there so decided to have ago at a relationship. Even thou there was a distance now because he had moved away to start a fresh it made no difference. He was AMAZING! Just like a fairytale ending and whats more him and my little boy got on like a house on fire. It was perfect.

 

After a few months, i got an exchange flat to where he lived n gave up everything n he moved in with me and then i found out i was pregnant. I thought my life was complete. Then had our first major argument which led to me breakin up with him in the heat of the moment. It was resolved but after that i had girls msging me that lewis had been with them n all the rest. He denied it and i believed him but our arguments continued, breakin up, kickin him out, makin up. Hed always accuse me of talkin to guys on facebook, which i never did n even showed him but there was no telling him. So i got rid of facebook so we wouldnt argue and he did the same. But the arguments continued but about other stuff. And hed always twist it, like if i said i was feeling unloved hed say its cause im not showing him enough love so id find myself stepping up but the situation not changing. Everything was always my fault and i always said sorry. He even says that hes got doubts about wether this baby is his and its insulting because hes the love of my life! But i said id accept his doubts n wed do a dna when the baby is here.

 

The last few weeks have been lovely, no drama just us getting on with our little life. At the beginning of the week we were led on our bed n he was saying how this year had been difficult but wed made it and then next year will be stressful with the baby but us breakin up should never be an option and well do all we can to make us work cause were special. I was soo happy i really thought i was startin to get my lewis back. Then the other day i had a small anxiety attack, my first one, and i put it down to all the stress of this year n hormones. When i told lew when he got home from work he then said, thats it we cant be together, your never happy with me and were always arguing so thats it. I was so shocked. He got up yesterday morning still stickin by what he said and eben after me begging him to stay he left. I went down to my neighbour for some support and she has a son my age but i bearly talk to him. Lewis then accused me of moving on already n all this n then decided it was a break he wanted but i needed to show i wanted to make us work. Of course i said yes but ive barely had anything. All i got was a text that says 'i want u' and more accusations about me supposidly moving on. My sister then rang me this morning and said lewis has got his facebook back n it felt like a complete kick in the guts. And when i confronted him he just text back saying it was cause he was checkin for mine cause he knows i have it n that ive done wrong. I dont even have facebook!

 

Now hes at work so he hasnt text me, i dont know what to do, i dont know if were together or not. Does he want me?did he ever love me?will he text me when he finishes work or forget about me?im truely truely broken hearted. I want him more than anything in this world!i dont want to move on, i want my lewis, thats all. I thought we were fine, or is this just a game to get more attention. Should i text or ring him or leave it? Someone please give me some advice.

 

Thanks for reading xx

[Sari]

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. It sounds like you are very anxious and he's keeping you dangling. The only advice I can give is to send him one message saying that you love him and would like very much to work things out, but that you won't be contacting him again until he's got his head sorted out. Then he is welcome to contact you if he would like to try again.

 

Then you need to start thinking about whether you really want to be with someone who can be so impulsive and thoughtless towards your feelings, especially as you have a little boy.

 

I hope you are ok. Big hugs, things will get better.