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travel with ex or no ?


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Old 16th December 2012, 11:05 PM   #1
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Question travel with ex or no ?

ex broke up with me to ' find him self' its hard to cope but we have to travel together as we booked it befor we broke up. im haveing a very hard time knowing he only sees me as a friend. any suggestions on what i should do
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Old 16th December 2012, 11:27 PM   #2
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Don't go.

...
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Old 17th December 2012, 2:29 AM   #3
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don't go if it hurts. i have some things planned with an ex, now friend, but we've both moved on or have an understanding. if it hurts, don't go.
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Old 17th December 2012, 4:12 AM   #4
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One of you shouldn't go, and the other should try to find someone else to take instead.

It would be utter hell.
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Old 17th December 2012, 4:32 AM   #5
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Seriously, don't go!

I had to live with my ex for about 3 weeks after we broke up due to delays in finding a new place/signing paperwork/hiring a van and believe me...... it was the most awkward, hellish situation I've ever been through.

Any conversation is tricky and awkward as, having spent so long together, it's too easy to slip on to topics that were once fine discussing with a lover, but are now inappropriate for friends.

The closeness of contact is also unnerving as it gives the impression that things are as they once were even though they're far from it.

It really screws with your head and should be avoided at all costs, regardless of whether you're 'friends' with them or not.
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Old 17th December 2012, 12:22 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by judithlove View Post
ex broke up with me to ' find him self' its hard to cope but we have to travel together as we booked it befor we broke up. im haveing a very hard time knowing he only sees me as a friend. any suggestions on what i should do
"We booked it before we broke up."

You're broken up now so the dynamics have changed.

1. You'll go because you hope for reconciliation
2. We booked it before we broke up is not an excuse to go
3. You'll go and he'll have sex with you and you'll feel used
4. You'll go and have a lousy time because it's not what you hoped for

We can give you all the advice you need, but deep down you know the answer. Unfortunately, you'll go because you're too afraid to let go.

This will be a good time for him to go on his own and find himself.

Last edited by geegirl; 17th December 2012 at 12:26 PM..
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Old 17th December 2012, 1:58 PM   #7
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Don't go. I know you miss him and you probably think you can handle it, but it will not end well.

When my ex-H and I were dating, we broke up for a period of 6 months or so. Before we'd broken up, I booked a weekend trip for him for his birthday. Trying to show him that I could handle being friends and missing him like crazy, I decided to still take the trip with him. The first day we were fine and actually had fun. But as we had before, we quickly fell back into a FWB pattern. We ended up at a bar and the conversation turned to "us".... Yeah. The most epic fight of our relationship ensued and we broke things off completely. For a while anyway. Ours was a toxic relationship.

I left feeling humiliated that I'd allowed the guy to dump me to get a free trip from me, get laid, and then proceed to tell me why he didn't want to be with me on top of it all. Your ex is not your friend. Not at this point. You'll have too many expectations. You'll be hoping your ex changes his mind when he goes away with you and when that doesn't happen you'll be crushed. Even if you didn't like Rennard said conversation will be awkward and you'll either have to avoid talking about those things or face having a fight about your R and make things worse.

I'd go with a friend. Screw him, he broke up with you. Unless he paid for it, then by all means let him take it. I think a vacation would do you very good and hopefully get your mind off things.
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Old 17th December 2012, 6:53 PM   #8
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thank you guys. you are right.. its just very hard to think about him going without me! he wants me as a friend and i honestly cant be his friend its tooooooo painful. weve been in NC now for about a week and if he ever calls befor the trip i will let him now i dont want to go. but its too painful to know he might go with some other girl
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