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Ex behavior- normal?


KansasChica

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Is it normal for an ex to pretend like they don't know you? I've never really experienced this before with previous exes, but this past one was the one I thought was the love of my life. It's been a year since he broke up with me and now I realize all of the problems that occurred in our relationship. I was more anxious, he more avoidant. There was absolutely no communication and we rushed into things pretty quickly. When he broke up with me, but couldn't give me a real reason why, but I assumed it was because of the whole "GIGS" thing because I was his first serious relationship at 27. About 6 months after the breakup, we were okay. We could have conversations. It was weird, but we at least talked some.

 

Now, if he sees me out, he won't say anything to me. I had to fill in for my friend's flag football team (which he is on too) and he wouldn't even look at me. I'm dating others- I assume he is too. I don't ask. My guy friends say that he has completely moved on, but it's just weird that he doesn't even acknowledge my presence and pretends that our year together never existed. That still hurts me some- even as much as the breakup itself.

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Is it normal for an ex to pretend like they don't know you? I've never really experienced this before with previous exes, but this past one was the one I thought was the love of my life. It's been a year since he broke up with me and now I realize all of the problems that occurred in our relationship. I was more anxious, he more avoidant. There was absolutely no communication and we rushed into things pretty quickly. When he broke up with me, but couldn't give me a real reason why, but I assumed it was because of the whole "GIGS" thing because I was his first serious relationship at 27. About 6 months after the breakup, we were okay. We could have conversations. It was weird, but we at least talked some.

 

Now, if he sees me out, he won't say anything to me. I had to fill in for my friend's flag football team (which he is on too) and he wouldn't even look at me. I'm dating others- I assume he is too. I don't ask. My guy friends say that he has completely moved on, but it's just weird that he doesn't even acknowledge my presence and pretends that our year together never existed. That still hurts me some- even as much as the breakup itself.

 

It must be hard, but maybe he feels guilty for how you broke up or maybe this is his way of coping. Just remember it's not about you but about him.

 

It's like any form of NC, it's not about wanting to hurt that person by ignoring them, it's about healing and protecting yourself from more hurt.

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I've had this happen to me before. I think it's their way of dealing with it. Which is really their loss if they don't want us.

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I must admit that I now do this to my ex.

 

It's purely a coping method. Even though I went NC, it's a small town and I would still see her around. No matter how hard I tried, it still hurt to say 'hi' or even to acknowledge her with a nod. After a while I simply had to pretend like I didn't see her, like she was a random stranger and not acknowledge her. Now, after nearly 2 years, she is a stranger to me and I just continue the way I always have.

 

I can see why it seems strange but for me, I needed to cut her out completely and it's helped me. It's probably harsh, but after a breakup you need to think of yourself for a while.

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I must admit that I now do this to my ex.

 

It's purely a coping method. Even though I went NC, it's a small town and I would still see her around. No matter how hard I tried, it still hurt to say 'hi' or even to acknowledge her with a nod. After a while I simply had to pretend like I didn't see her, like she was a random stranger and not acknowledge her. Now, after nearly 2 years, she is a stranger to me and I just continue the way I always have.

 

I can see why it seems strange but for me, I needed to cut her out completely and it's helped me. It's probably harsh, but after a breakup you need to think of yourself for a while.

 

Hey Renard99,

I'm just curious: were you the dumper or the dumpee in this situation? Also, do you have more of an avoidant personality? I'm just trying to compare to my ex.

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Hey Renard99,

I'm just curious: were you the dumper or the dumpee in this situation? Also, do you have more of an avoidant personality? I'm just trying to compare to my ex.

 

I'm the dumpee. She just got up and left me one day saying the feelings weren't there anymore.

 

I wouldn't say I have an avoidant personality at all. I was simply avoiding the pain of the break up which I consider to be nothing more than self preservation.

 

I know you said your ex broke up with you but I don't necessarily think that makes much difference compared to my story. Just because he did the breaking up doesn't mean that he doesn't have some lingering, maybe even painful feelings, and the easiest way for him to move on is to just keep looking ahead and not at you.

 

I understand you're looking for answers but in a situation like this it may be best to accept you may never know

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